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What should I do? A shower get with sparkly elements for men? What could be the explanation?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi there guys/gals

My boyfriend who I have a long distance relationship came around although asked me to run him a bath whilst on the way.

When he arrived I made him a cup of tea so he sat on the bed to drink it before he had his bath.

I couldn't help but notice shimmer on his chest.. the fine glitter like what you get in ladies moisturisers sometimes.

After I asked him he was laughing at me and saying it was a lynx men's shower gel.. it's the yellow one he said. I can't see how a men's shower gel would contain any sparkly elements to it.

Please could someone tell me their thoughts cos I don't know where to go with this.

View related questions: long distance, spark

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntIf you don't trust him then don't be with him. It is clear that you don't. I mean if my boyfriend came home with glitter on him I would never assume he was cheating. Is the long distance working for you? Or do you feel it makes you insecure? Figure out what it is you want and go from there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2017):

What the heck...i would def wonder if my man was cheating if he came home with glitter...esp as he asked you to draw him a bath he could jump right into...wash off the evidence...keep an eye out girl. Could be innocent, but it is a little too suspicious for me.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 June 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt Fatherly Advice : brilliant !! You solved the mystery !

Snake Peel- it would be a scrub, basically, right ?

Now, a scrub needs to contain a ( mildly ) abrasive agent.

If you prepare your own homemade scrub, you can use, say, almond oil or olive oil plus salt. Or sugar. But commercial scrubs contain mica powder or silicates. Metals ,basically. With tiny tiny little particles which scrub and SHINE.

The OP 's bf is not a cheater, - just an esfoliator.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (5 June 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHold on, there is one thing we need to check first. You didn't, at any point, tell him how much you enjoyed the Twilight Series?

OK so you think he traveled a long distance to see you , but managed to stop somewhere in route for a Liaison with a sparkly woman, but although he is not shy to ask you for a bath he didn't bother to ask miss glitter for one.

Or you are afraid that he is effeminate, or trans sexual. Now a Transsexual wouldn't make that kind of a mistake on a date, so you can relax about that one. So if you have a strong bias against effeminate men how did he get this far, so he probably isn't too effeminate for you.

As far as where to go with this, you should judge people for the things they think and do, and not for their soap brand. If that is not a problem, then you will just have to express your opinion to him about his grooming products and hope that he takes your suggestions.

As far as Rise Up, I like it because lime is a natural deodorant and a classic scent for men. There is another scent called Snake peal which is a different yellow which I also like. It uses micro beads as an exfoliate. My wife who has very tiny pores will sometimes use it when her back gets too itchy.

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A female reader, angelvoice United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2017):

angelvoice agony auntDear friend,

There are two types of men that could fit the description of your friend, I think.

There is the relatively new concept of the 'metrosexual', a heterosexual man who simply enjoys taking care of himself and preserving his skin, and wears very fashionable clothes that could be perceived as feminine.

Someone in this category is entirely heterosexual and you can rest assured that you can be comfortable with this.

The second type is the bisexual man, who is drawn to both men and women, each to a different proportion depending on the person.

The problem you would have in this case is that if he is bisexual, and you are so attracted to him that you are still prepared to accept this, as some women are, you occasionally find that you may develop a lovely friendship, including a sexual one, and he may well still really like you and find you attractive.

The downside is that some bisexual men find it difficult to be committed. Also some bisexual men find that they are slightly less emotionally connected to their women partners than you might like.

I do understand what you are going through, and you may have to wait to find out which of these types he may be

By all means I would advise you to keep the friendship going if you are comfortable with what you discover, because even bisexuals can be very kindly and thoughtful.

I hope this helps you.

All the very best,

Angelvoice

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2017):

You can go buy the gel and see for yourself. What exactly are you worried about?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 June 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt I think his explanation is perfectly plausible, there are many unisex bodywashes and liquid soaps which have, maybe not exactly glitter in them, but something shiny or shimmery. Just to look more appealing, I guess. If he did not rinse / dry himself very accurately, it's quite possible that some micro-parcels of dry bodywash stuck on his chest.

Anyway , the yellow one should be Lynx Rise Up, they have it at Tesco's. If you are so suspicious ( why ? do you have valid reasons to mistrust him ? ) go grab a bottle of it and.. experiment on yourself.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntDid you check out the product? Because I wouldn't be surprised if some men's shower/lotion/bath products have a shimmer to them. Or perhaps he is using one that ISN'T specifically for men, maybe he likes the scent or the shimmer?

My question to you is, what are YOUR thoughts? That he, what?

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2017):

N91 agony auntWhere else can you go with it?

He's given you his explanation for it. If you keep pressing on him for having glitter on his chest he will probably think you're insane.

You must have some trust issues already to be thinking like this. If you don't trust him then why are you with him in the first place?

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