A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A long time ago I briefly met a guy at the end of a festival. He lives on the other side of the country. We exchanged numbers and ended up talking online for almost a year. We both were in relationships when we met and I still am though he is single now. We used to send really suggestive text messages to each other because it was a lot of fun. He sort of ditched me randomly and we stopped talking. I found out we're going to be in the same city coincidentally in a few days and I want to meet up with him and have a real face to face conversation with him but I'm pretty sure he's not interested in that. I don't want to mess around with him at all. I just want to hang out with him. Neither one of us have ever mentioned our meeting or secret friendship to any of our friends. It's been a complete secret.What do you guys suggest I do? Is this stupid?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2013):
 what happens when you play with fire?
you get burned.
cut it out.
you are emotionally cheating on your boyfriend.
how would you feel if he was doing to you what you are doing to him?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2013): Yes this is stupid.What do you hope to get from it? Honestly you just sent suggestive texts to him, kept him secret from your boyfriend, but you don't want to mess around with him? Really?To top it all off, he ditched you as soon as he was single and free to mingle. If it's because you're bored, find other better sources of entertainment. If it's because you're really desperate for attention, sort out your self esteem.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 December 2013):
 i suggest you cut contact with him and stop being shady with your boyfriend. not cool.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (22 December 2013):
 I agree. And the things is, OP, you weren't just cheating. You're now hoping to meet up with him in person despite the fact that he clearly isn't interested in you whatsoever. You've already served your purpose. You were a good diversion while he was in a relationship, but now that he's single again, he doesn't have to settle for suggestive texts. Even if he did agree to meet you, it would be to mess around. Otherwise he has no reason to see or speak to you again.
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (22 December 2013):
 You should get out of your current relationship, because you obviously do not respect it whatsoever.Sending suggesting messages to each other is cheating. Just because it isn't said in person does not make it any less damaging to your partner whenever they find out- in fact, it may make it worse because there is a specific script of everything you have said.You may say you have no intentions of physicality whenever you see this man, but he might. He might make you lower your inhibitions enough to act on those suggestive things said long ago and what do you say then? How do you convince yourself that it wasn't cheating?You seem to think that doing things in text/cyber formats makes you impervious to repercussions. That's wrong.I don't mean to attack you with this, and I apologize if I come off harshly, but you are either in some deep denial here or you simply don't care about other people's feelings. Pick your poison. I hope you come to realize that your actions have reactions and let your current boyfriend go so he may move on to more solid relationships where he won't be lied to by omission.Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 December 2013):
 Yep, I'm with YOUWISH.
YOU are cheating. Really suggestive text messages is not JUST for shits and grins, you are deluding yourself. But I guess it's easier telling yourself that it's ALL so harmless, then owning up to the fact that you are cheating. It may not be physical but it's what called an emotional affair. YOU are getting something out of it. Some attention, feeling good, feeling sexy or whatnot. Basically it's ALIENATION of affections from your BF.
If there was nothing to this friendship, if it was harmless flirting your BF would know about him. And you wouldn't be wanting to keep it a secret and meet up in secret.
Put on your big girl panties and POUT yourself in your BF, shoes for a second. HOW would you feel if he did ALL that you have been doing with this guy, with some chick he met at a festival? You would be totally OK with it? Yea, I didn't think so.
Wake up honey and stop mucking about with another dude.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 December 2013):
 I suggest you stop cheating on your boyfriend! You're in a relationship, and carrying on some secret attraction/friendship behind his back is outrageous. Wanting to meet up and hang out in secret? It's no secret except to the one you'll hurt, which is your boyfriend.
Seriously. If you are in a relationship, stop messing around with suggestive texts and secret meetings. How would you like it if you fell in love with a guy who treated you like this??
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