A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:husband left me for a 24 year old with a 3 year old. they are now living together and are engaged. our divorce is not final, and i found out he has not payed my attourney yet. they seem to be getting along pretty good. but everyone tells me it wont last. ive see him once a month for the past 3 months to collect allimony. he tells me he loves me, wants hugs when i am leaving, and says he wants to text me but hes always working and busy. im tired of false hopes i love him very much but dont know if i should wait any longer for him to relize what he has left. what do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): They're pretending everything is great but just wait, that relationship won't last for long, if everything is ok then why would he want hugs from you, you do not want him back anway so let him have his 24 yr old, she's only in it for his money, once his money plays out she will be out of there.
Try an move on, I know it hurts but he has moved on so let them be, nothing good will come out of that relationship, she found a sucker that will help her with her child.
You're get the last laugh, no good deed goes unpunished!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2012): i want to thank all of you for your answers. i just wish i could let go. i know that he has moved on but i just cant seem to grasp why he still wants to talk to me. i can possably see talking to him in the future after i have gotten over this. but to talk to him and see him now hurts so much. i dont think he relizes this because he has her and hes okay. i want to stop feeling like i was a failure and that im not worthy. its hard when you work hard at a marriage and you think things are okay and than one day your husband just says im in love with someone else, i love you but not the same way. this was like an overnight thing. why so young of a girl?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2012): If he left you for another women.. he will leave her for someone else... but I'm sure she just want his old A$$ for money.. once she get what she want she will leave his old A$$. I bet she's a gold digger. Just wait around and sue his A$$ for bigamy!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Everyone here is right. Raise your head up high, smile and know you are better than he is!! Could things EVER be the same if he left her and came running back to you?? It sounds to me like he wants to have YOU to fall back on if things don't work out with this little girl. Who says he wouldn't do this to you again???
Have some pride and move on honey. Best of luck to you. :D
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (18 June 2012):
 Ask him to give you the divorce so YOU can move on and live "happily ever after " too.
Even if he DID leave her would you really want him back? Seriously?
He is stringing you along JUST in case the other woman doesn't work out... That isn't love, that is taken you for granted and using you.
Time to wake up, honey. YOU deserve some happiness too. And your soon to be ex.. isn't it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Don't wait, listen to somebody who had the carrot dangled for five or so years after he left ...
Don't let him bring the alimony money, tell him to set up a direct payment from his account to yours.
When he says he loves you tell him he has a funny way of showing it and if what he has for you is love you would rather go without.
Tell him to pull his finger out and get the attorney paid so the divorce can be finalised, and that you have a life waiting to be lived.
If you are not working find activities to keep you occupied/interested and that will give you opportunities to meet new people, do some night classes, write poetry, learn pottery, join a walking group, volunteer at your local hospital or ask the school if they need stand in grandparents to listen to the children read.
Start living your life and try not to let what this man is doing affect you ... sometimes easier said than done I know, but the sooner you start the sooner things will start to get better for you.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (18 June 2012):
 He absolutely should not be telling you he loves you and expects to be hugged!!!
Way to go to mess with a sisters head!!!
It will be impossible for you to move on with your life all the time he comes around and behaves like this,get him to pay the alimony via your bank account so you don't have to see him, that way you you can get on with your life and decide what YOU need! not have to hang around like a spare part so he can return to you if things don't work out with his new woman.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (18 June 2012):
 Hi
He is not coming back, he's engaged and has a new life. Cut contact and move forward. Build a new life for yourself. Think we all have one that got away and He is yours.
You will survive without him, promise.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (18 June 2012):
They are living together and engaged?! I'm sorry but I really doubt he is coming back.
If you're hoping he wakes up and realizes what he's throwing away - I suggest you cut off contact. Even if he doesn't realize - the distance will be better for you.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (18 June 2012):
 you have to make a new life of your own. go out and make new friends. join clubs and get your very own life. then when he comes back you will be confident enough to reject him. I know it seems like a gargantuan leap but I have done it and millions of others too. this is not the man for you.
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