A
male
age
30-35,
*uke23
writes:Why can't I get another girl?In high school pretty girls liked me but let me stress that I was not very good at talking to them like I'm okay but not great. I relied on sports and my looks and once I knew a girl liked me I would go talk to her. I never really wanted to get into a relationship with any of these girls though. I would kind of just casually see them for a month or so. But in my senior year this new girl came to my school from the moment I saw her I was like I'm going to make her mine. I had honestly never thought that about a girl just by seeing her. So I did by October she was mine and we were actually dating, which is something I didn't think I would do in high school.This is going to sound really mean but I always thought that girls were good for one thing and one thing only and it wasn't worth putting up with their emotional baggage so I wouldn't date. But this girl was different she was beautiful, sweet, and kind. So after two weeks of dating she tells me that she loves me. I didn't love her yet, but I did care about her which was new to me. Things went great throughout our whole relationship we came to love each other with all of our hearts. But unfortunately in late June she had to move. We decided to do the long distance. I bought her a 300$ promise ring and planned on transferring to whatever college she decided to go to because her parents can't afford where I am at. But the problem was her parents wouldn't support our relationship.Her mom wanted me out. She refused to let us visit each other but we were not going to let her mom destroy our relationship. But then in August right before I go to college she tells me I need to focus on my future I am deciding too much based on you but I wasn't making her decide anything based on me I was only suggesting some colleges for her that's it. She broke my heart and I am still broken. I was in so deep with this girl we had our lives planned out together. I stopped living for myself everything I did had something to do with her. I kept on trying to get her back but she would only break me down and lower my confidence more and more. Until I completely stopped talking to her but by that time it was all too late I had been manipulated and turned into a different person with zero confidence the most important trait anybody needs and I can't get it back. The only time I feel okay is when I'm on the court. Anyways I have tried to get over her but I'm honestly not very attracted to a lot of girls here and the one's I am attracted to I get their numbers they say they want to hang out but never follow through and they don't text me back on the weekends. Why don't these girls like me anymore? I know I'm still attractive I was always complimented on my looks by my now ex girlfriend and other girls at parties and at school would always call me cute. So what's happened is it because I'm a freshman and these girls want upperclassmen? I just don't know what to do I just want to be me again and have my confidence back. I hate this girl for doing this to me and she's probably having a great time in her senior year.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Okay well first off you ask why other girls don't like you any more, when in the past they did? You mention that you are still good looking, but the thing you need to realise is most girls don't base there attraction on looks only, they will only date a guy if they can find a spark and if the guy has a good personality and treats them well.
Now am not saying you do not have these other qualities but at the minute you are still not over your ex therefore you are not fully available to give all of yourself to another girl, therefore for the moment I would stop looking to date other girls and concentrate on yourself. Yes it is hard getting over a break up. But you will get there in time. Your confidence is low at the moment, but you say you feel good out in the court. This is a positive step forward. Keep yourself busy doing things that you like and that you are good at. This will raise your confidence. Get your life back as a single guy. Go out with friends and enjoy your youth. You will soon find in time that you are over your ex and then you should be ready as a person to go dating again and find a potential partner. Good luck.
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