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My sister in law doesn't mind being naked with me!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 September 2010) 36 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My sister-in-law (single and attractive) graduated college and recently took a job near where my wife and I live. My wife told her to stay with us in the spare bedroom until she found a place of her own.

Initially, she wore a robe over her nightshirt, and seemed quite modest. Over time, she became more comfortable. First, she stopped wearing the robe. Her breasts are quite well outlined when she wears only a white T-shirt. Later, she came in and my wife gave her a shirt to try on. Off with her shirt when I was in the room (she was wearing a bra, and then she put on the shirt). Then, my wife and I were in my sister-in-law’s room, she was wearing her nightshirt. She took it off (braless, wearing only panties) and put on her bra and a shirt, then pants.

I was in the bathroom wearing a towel, about to take a shower. She walks in, and asks if she can go first as she is late. I am about to leave, and she says “I’ll just be a minute”, removes her clothes, and runs into the shower. After a quick shower, she says “your turn”, and proceeds to put on her makeup. So, I go into the shower. When I am done and drying off, she is finishing up, and goes to grab her towel, standing only inches from me (we are both naked). Even though my wife and I had not had sex for a week (her period) I was able to control the erection, so nothing seemed sexual.

My wife seems OK with her sister being undressed with me, and there is no sex. (My sister-in-law is hot, but my wife is hotter).

My question: Is this normal?

View related questions: bra , breasts, erection, period, sister in law

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010):

I went on a camping trip with my sister and her husband. We has a small camper, and no privacy. I guess we could have taken turns in the camper, but we didn't.

The first time we had to undress together it was just my brother-in-law and I. My sister had her bathing suit on, and left us alone in the camper (weird, wasn't it). We kind of mirrored each other as we undressed. It was weired taking off my bra, and I think he was staring at my breasts. Then he removed his underwear, and I know I was staring at his penis a little bit. I then removed my panties. I guess we were both a little curious, and stayed naked together for an extra few seconds. By the end of the trip, it was natural for all of us to change clothes together.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010):

OK if there is no sex, and all agree. Even a little adventurous.

I had just graduated college, and was meeting my sister and her husband at a beach in Europe. They had taken a little vacation, and I was enjoying the summer in Europe before going to work.

We arrived, and went to the changing room. One door, and we expected more doors inside. Surprise! A coed changing room. I looked at my sister, who said "We're here to swim, let's put on our bathing suits."

I guess, we could have separated, but we stayed together and picked three lockers. I tried to pick a corner locker not in my brother-in-law's direct view. Instead, we were looking directly at each other, and my sister was on the other side of him. She removed her shirt and then her bra, and I noticed this guy in the corner staring at her.

So I took off my shirt, and my brother-in-law mirrored my actions. Then I saw a girl, probably 13 or 14 with her sister. They took off their clothes like it was nothing, even though they knew other men could see them. That gave me courage, so I took off my bra. I could see he was looking at my breasts, and he followed by undressing, as did I. I think we kind of looked at each other's newly exposed parts a bit more than necessary, then went on to put on our suits.

Well, the beach was topless, and my sister and I quickly removed our tops. When we returned to the locker room, undressing, showering (next to my brother-in-law), and dressing seemed 100% natural. There was never any sex or improper intent. I am not sure I could have undressed so easily if that 14-year-old had not taken off her clothes so nonchalantly.

Hey, your sister-in-law is just comfortable with you.

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A female reader, Najma Pakistan +, writes (18 September 2010):

It is wrong. If any incident happens accidently is different and ignorable. When you say your sil doesn't mind being nacked it is not good. I don't like it.

Najma

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

When my wife went into labor, I was at the health club in the pool. Her sister drove her to the hospital. I arrived in her room (a private birthing room) my bathing suit and a T-shirt, with my gym bag. My wife and her sister were in the room. A nurse came in and told me to change, and left. So I changed, not concerned that my sister-in-law was looking right at me. I am sure it was not the first penis she had seen. Hey, we are family, and family members do see each other undressed at times. Its OK.

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A female reader, MoonLux United States +, writes (16 September 2010):

MoonLux agony auntHmmm. Seems like she's got you hot and/or bothered. You noticed plenty enough details. As much as I've enjoyed your post and the replies, why not ask your wife if this is normal? Seems unfair to portray your SIL as a vixen when all that really counts is your communication with the hotter wifey.

Oh. To quote an earlier comment..."don't do anything stupid."

Good luck and I'm sure some guys are thinking to themselves that your post is an awesome problem to have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

Hey, coed nudity is not sex. A few years back my brother and I (I was 23 and he was 22) were staining the deck at our parent's beach house. We were alone at the beach house. A gallon of stain fell off the ladder and spilled all over both of us. We did not want to go in the house, and the deck was secluded. We decided to use the outdoor shower.

Unfortunately, the stain was beginning to make our clothes stick to bodies. We quickly undressed (no time for modesty) and headed for the small outdoor shower.

He entered the shower, and we were going to take turns. My skin began to hurt, so I jumped into the shower with him, explaining my situation. We spent the next hour cleaning up, a lot of the time cleaning the stain out of my hair.

In a shower that small, there is no way for us not to contact each other. I felt his penis accidentally brush me several times, and my breasts must have touched him dozens of times. But he never had an erection (and I wouldn't have blamed him if he did).

You see men and women can be naked together and it can have nothing to do with sex. Your sister-in-law was not trying to seduce you. She was treating you like a brother that she was comfortable with. I never got the idea from reading your story that you were tempted or upset by the idea. My take was that someone had said something to you, and you decided to ask a question. Is that true?

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A female reader, lainey23 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

lainey23 agony auntEven though you haven't cheated on your wife, the fact that you're concerned enough to write on this forum shows that you might be thinking about the temptation of it. That's playing with fire. We're all human and we all have sexual desire. An attractive, naked woman in your house, that isn't your wife, is not OK. I would talk to your wife about your concerns. Make it known that you are not comfortable with seeing your sister-in-law in various states of undress. She sounds like she's looking for trouble. Most women are self aware enough to know it's going to cause a reaction if we are naked in front of a man. If it doesn't stop and you don't want to create a "problem" between your wife and her sister, I would not pay her any attention. Leave the room when she's wearing something inappropriate and set boundaries. If you get turned on, find your wife IMMEDIATELY and focus on her...not the sister. She's wrong!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010):

Seeing your sister-in-law naked, even if she is hot and single, does not mean you are sexually involved with her.

My sister-in-law, 24 at the time, needed a minor medical procedure that required anesthesia. I was the only one who could drive her. She went in, put on the gown (alone), and had the procedure.

WHen she awoke, they called me in, and told me she was ready to go and needed to get dressed. The aide, assuming I was her husband, left us alone in the room. I started to leave, bus she asked me to help her for a minuite, as she was very unsteady.

I brought her the clothes, and she began to struggle to remove her hospital gown. I again began to leave, but she said she couldn't do it alone, and told me to stay. I helped her remove the gown, trying not to look at her breasts or vagina. She started to put on her panties, but go it backwards. I had to remove and properly put them back on. After a minuite of struggling with her bra, she asked me to put it on for her. That cannot be done without looking at and touching her breasts. This dressing process took about 15 minutes.

At that point, a nurse came in, spoke with her, and said she was not close to being ready to leave. We finally left about 90 minutes later.

None of this, putting on her panties, putting on her bra, seeing and touching her naked, was the least bit sexually stimulating. On the contrary, I was with an intelligent, attractive, athletic girl who was confused and upset about the fact that she could not get her arms and legs to go where she wanted. There was nothing sexual about it, and all of you wro made comments that the sister-in-law is trying to seduce the husband are reading things into the situation.

Of course, I told my wife. My sister-in-law shared the story with many people, which takes her about 20 minutes to tell.

Peole are naked for many reasons, and sex is but one of them. Don't assume nudity equals sex, as you eill often be wrong.

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A male reader, alex74 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

alex74 agony auntNormal is such a relative term. Just enjoy the show and don't ask questions!

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A male reader, mrvhappy United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2010):

Hi,

This is not "NORMAL"

I am going to disagree with most of the posts on here.

From what you have said, if sounds perfectly innocent. Your SIL obviously feels comfortable in front of you and perhaps sees you as a "big brother" figure (ie not in a sexual way) thats why she does what she does....if she were interested or flirted with you when you saw her naked, then things would be different.

If you wife & SIL is happy for you to see yr SIL naked I dont see this as a problem...but becareful...if you cant control yr erection next time you are alone/naked with her..this could lead to an embrassing situation.

I think that the best thing you could do is to talk to yr wife in private about this.

Good Luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntTo me it seems all wrong. If I was you I would tell the wife that you were a little uncomfortable with the nudity.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

Her intentions might be fine, but you are affected and uneasy about it, which makes it wrong. Think about it and how it's affecting you...you can't bang her, you have to work to keep your erection down, and rubbing one out to your SIL afterwards probably isn't a good habit to get into. She's causing sexual tension, and she needs to stop the full frontal encounters. It does seem she is being a bit deliberate about it. Can you tell if she glances at you when she removes her shirt to see if you're looking, or anything like that? Does she find you attractive do you think? Are you well endowed or muscular, and is that causing her to "look"? You should tell the SIL that no offense, but it makes you a little uncomfortable...dont say anything about sexual tension to either of them. Use words like "uncomfortable", "nervous" etc.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2010):

Miamine agony auntSounds like they were brought up in a family where nudity is common and unsensationalist. Nudist are like this. The human body is what we are born with and what we end up with in the end. Don't see any flirtation or sexual behaviour going on and your wife knows and is comfortable, so there is no problems.

If you feel uncomfortable or aroused in any way, please talk to your wife and ask her to have a quick word with her sister about staying covered up when you are around.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

I wouldn't worry, especially not if you're wife is aware.

My wife (and as such her entire family) is Swedish. The first time we were at their summer house and there was a joint changing room to go swimming I thought it strange to see my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and basically the entire family naked... you get used to it very quickly though.

Different strokes for different folks. These days I don't even think about it.

To your sister-in-law you are her sisters husband, that makes you totally 'safe'. Might as well be gay in her eyes....

Oh and whomever quoted Freud as an authority on psychoanalysis needs to take a look at more modern work. Freud hasn't been taken seriously for at least 40 years- he's more of a joke than an authority!

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (14 September 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntI had to read through all the answers. Whatever Anonymous 123 said is wrong. Learn that EVERYTHING in psychology is based on unproven theories. Accept that the human psyche is far too complex to ever fully understand.

My own family feels comfortable walking in the nude around each other, me, my sisters and my mother but nothing sexual ever happens, there is no sexual attraction whatsoever.

I do feel the need to tell the OP that your sister-in-law may see things this way and that is why she is comfortable with walking around in the nude. If you feel uncomfortable, you must tell your wife or talk to your sister-in-law about it.

I hope that helps.

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A male reader, nubiansouljer United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

nubiansouljer agony auntDude, no this is not normal, that does not make it wrong altogether however. Your wife trust you your sister in law trust you. There is nothing wrong with being naked but...Talk about it to them especially your wife, let her know what is happening and respect her wishes. Other side of the coin talk to the wife and ask for the 3some

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A male reader, jimrich United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

It's 'normal' for her but obviously not 'normal' for you.

Is there a problem?

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntOP can you clarify if your wife an sister in law grew up in a liberal nudist or naked home so to speak?

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A female reader, Mugzie69 United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

Mugzie69 agony auntThis doesn't seem to be an issue for your sil. I may be wrong about this, but I wouldn't assume that this is necessarily sexual. I'd wait until similar happened such as you describe when the sil disrobed when you and your wife were both present. Then you could ask your wife later if she was 'ok' with this, or if it was a problem and should she broach it with her sister.

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A female reader, Sugarbuns Australia +, writes (14 September 2010):

Sugarbuns agony auntKinda weird if you ask me. Maybe they were both raised in a "naked house". If you're uncomfortable (which I doubt) you could talk with your wife and tell her it feels inappropriate to see her sister naked. I'm sure she'll ask her sister to use more descretion. Some men would definately take advantage of the situation so I'm wondering if it's a test and your wife is seeing how you will react? She may have asked her sister to be somewhat "in your face" to see if you would give in to your lust. Either that or maybe her sister is a little attracted to you, and hoping to start something up with you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

A few years back, my brother-in-law drove me to college. I had just graduated, but needed to return to sign a paper so I could graduate. It poured, and the two-hour trip took eight hours. We arrived in the evening and he was exhausted, so we had to stay the night. I still had the dorm keys, and invited him to stay in my dorm room. It was an all-girls dorm, but was virtually empty.

It was late May, and the dorm AC was off. We had no sleeping clothes, and after a while agreed that it would OK to strip to our underwear. His penis was outlined well, as his briefs were wet. I then realized that my underwear were stuck to me, and there was more than a little pubic hair showing.

We had a good time talking, nothing sexual of course. I never wanted sex with my sister's husband.

In the morning, we both took showers (separate, of course). I had to "stand guard" in the girl's shower, and got an accidental look at him through the mirror.

As with a few others, I never found this sexual, and felt more like a sister with a brother. After my shower when I came back in a towel and dressed, I was a little less careful dressing under the towel (he was in the room), but not because I wanted to seduce him. I just didn't care, as we were close friends at that point. It was not sex, and I don't think this guy's sister-in-law wants sex. She is part of the family.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy + , writes (14 September 2010):

Anonymous 123 agony auntNope...this is not normal, no matter what anyone says. If you thought it was, you wouldn't be asking this question here in the first place. You have to put an end to this. By keeping quiet, you're only encouraging this extremely bizarre behavior. And why did you shower in front of her? You should've asked her to shut the door and leave. You're now starting to show her that this is fine and acceptable by you.

Please talk to your wife about this.There is no need to even try to "control" any of this...its going to blow up in your face one day, and ruin your perfectly good marriage. Being liberated is one thing, parading around naked, is way off limits.

And when people say she views you "asexually", thats NOT possible. Have you by any chance heard of the electra complex? Its a psychoanalytic theory based on the work of Sigmund Freud, which is a complex of females; it deals with sexual attraction to the father. The inverse is the Oedipus complex. What im trying to say is that, if human beings are capable of being sexually attracted to their own PARENTS, then why cant we be attracted to anyone else? In your case, you're not even immediate family. Then why cant she be attracted to you and vice-versa?

Please talk it out with your wife and put an end to this.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntShe sounds like one of those liberal women who view the body as just an outer shell. They're comfortable in their own skin, and what she has is something you have already seen before. Actually I had a friend like that, she would shower and then dry her hair naked. Given it's your sister in law and that would make for an awkward situation. So in some cases I can see where it's normal and then I can see where it's slightly inappropriate. If you're uncomfortable with it or find yourself being attracted to her, then I would ask her to wear a bra, shirt, and pants at all times until she went to bed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

My sister is 10 years older than me, and married with two teenage daughters. My sister has told me that they are relaxed about family nudity, and change clothes together in hotels, at the beach (family changing room), etc.

We went to the beach, and we headed toward the changing areas. I am not quite sure how, but I entered the family changing area, and my sister followed with the girls. I invited my brother-in-law in, and my sister said nothing.

OK, I was in it now. The room is tight, and I am standing inches away from my brother-in-law. I removed my shirt, bra, etc, and was soon naked. He followed, as did the family. I relaxed, then realized that I had not taken out my bikini. I kneeled down to get it, looked up, and realized I was looking directly at his manhood. As with the other guy who answered this question, I felt nothing sexual, nothing unusual. It was like being with family, and he didn't mind being naked with his kids. All of the sudden, I was not self-concious about being naked with my brother-in-law. It was being with family.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

In reading this, it appears that his wife is aware, and that there is no sexual involvement.

My wife grew up as part of a large family in a small house. Siblings often shared the bathrooms, and she says "My brothers had quite an assortment of breasts and vaginas to look at all the time". My sister-in-law went camping with us, and after the tent was set up said let's go swimming, and removed her clothes. She then leaned over her bag, which was right next to me.

I know this sounds sexual fromt the description, but it was the opposite. I was part of the family, and it was OK to be undressed as part of the family. In that context, was is not sexual, and not an attempt to seduce or any of the other things suggested in some answers. Although my sister-in-law is quite attractive, in that context I felt no sexual attraction to her.

If this is the normal family situation, then don't make anything more of it than it actually is. As long as your wife knows, and there is no sex or thought of sex, be happy your sister-in-law is so comfortable around you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

Sorry, I just read your question again.

That is completely not normal!! You should tell your wife about this! It actually does seem like she's after something.

And if your wife is okay with this then there's something up. Maybe one of them are trying to catch you out!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

This is absolutely not normal. You need to talk to your wife, and tell her to tell your sister-in-law to stop. Important that you go through you wife, because if you approach your sister-in-law directly and it makes her mad, she could make lies and claims that are not true, to your wife. Your wife needs to know, and she needs to know that it needs to stop. If you love your marriage, you will take this seriously. You sister-in-law already sounds whacked in the head for being this way, and if she is, then goodness knows what her little head could come up with if you rub her the wrong way. Protect your marriage and make this stop, especially when the sis in law lives in such close quarters!!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2010):

If my sister revealed herself as you described in front of my boyfriend, I'd be very annoyed and slightly disturbed. It's not normal at all. Sounds a little like she's after you! But saying that, everybody's different.

If your wife's fine about this and nothing will happen between the pair of you, then I guess it's okay.

If it bothers you at all, why not speak to your wife about it?

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A female reader, bebe87 United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

bebe87 agony auntYikes! There is sooo something behind what she is doing. Almost makes me think 1 of 2 things, 1st: Okay is she and/or your wife trying to set you up, just to see what you would do, maybe you would try to hit on her behind your wifes back (They may be thinking) And 2nd: C'mon us girls know what we are doing to a man (with our body, esp naked) My best advise to you would be for you to tell your wife to tell HER SISTER that what she is doing is crossing the line, and it is starting to make you un-comfortable now. Once she knows that you are not interested in her body, she SHOULD stop. And as for your best interest because we all know how men love a hot naked chick lol, do the right thing

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (14 September 2010):

dirtball agony auntNot really, but not that abnormal either. She views you asexually most likely. That, or her sister has told her stories and she wanted to see if they were true.

If it bothers you, then you need to discuss it with them both.

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A female reader, DanceInTheDark Canada +, writes (14 September 2010):

DanceInTheDark agony auntMy question is: why would you complain?

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A male reader, BassiveMalls United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

BassiveMalls agony auntI don't think it's normal but we are all raised different. Bro don't go for anything if your wife is hotter it would ruin what you already have. Ask your wife is she thinks its weird.

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A female reader, loopy United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

loopy agony auntAny tme I am nude with a male present it has meaning. My breasts I am pproud of not so much a 'I WANT sex With you "but if you see my Bush/Landing strip, Iam looking to fork your spoon. SiS N LW is not playing FAIR with your physice. or your sisterseither, IF sex stops for a Period, then it could stop for a broken finger nail.She will take a your roll of nickles in the pocket as a come on. your Goose is Cooked.

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A male reader, Boy Blue United States +, writes (13 September 2010):

Nope, its not normal but you may as well enjoy the show. Don't "do" anything stupid though.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2010):

Omg she either wants you really bad or maybe you mite be in luck for a three some! I urge you to talk properly to your wife (put all the cards on the table)as you love your wife but her actions are making you un'eased .get it sorted or get her out!!!!!!

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A female reader, ailemaaax New Zealand +, writes (13 September 2010):

That does seem a little unusual, but if you can control yourself and nothing happens, and your wife is fine with it, I don't see any reason why it is bad.

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