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Don't want to be in this relationship anymore, but I've lost all my friends and I'm scared to break up with him!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm starting to feel "off" with my boyfriend and just generally doubting my relationship. This will probably be a pretty long question because I kind of want to get as much detail in what the relationship is like so I can get the best possible answer so I appreciate it to any who bothers to read all this and give some advice.

We're both 17, nearly 18 and have been together for 2 years. It was a relationship that got together because I just broke up with someone and he was there and he's even told me he only got with me because all our friends said he should. He says he loves me but sometimes I feel like he doesn't. We've never had sexual intercourse, we've tried it twice and he's so inexperienced so it just hurts and I feel like I can't talk to him about anything sexual between us. He just isn't understanding unless he wants something. To be honest I can't talk to him about anything at all. It's always boring conversations about gaming because I do play on consoles with him quite a bit which I don't go on anymore because he ends up arguing with me over a game.

In the past I got really jealous and was insecure from being cheated on in previous relationships so things were a little bumpy now and then because of that. I gave up all my friends for him and now I have one that lives quite far away so I only see her once during summer and when she comes to see me he always gets in a mood and goes all distant so it makes me not want to see my friend so I don't have to put up with his bullshit. The other friend I have is close by but we lost contact and I've only just started talking to her again but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend and start talking to her again because I don't want to use her.

I also went to a concert last week and haven't seen him since because I've simply just been too busy with having a puppy and a job and he doesn't even respect that. He's been texting me saying things like "Did something happen at the concert, you've been quiet it's not like you" and shit like that. I don't want to talk to him about the concert because he hates the band so why would I go blabbing my interests in his face, I just said it was good and I enjoyed it but it's like he's digging for more information and he's interested all of a sudden.

I always have to make the effort too, like I ALWAYS go to his house and he never comes to mine because when he does he just complains because we can't do anything sexual as my parents wouldn't like that and the past couple of months he's had to come to mine because I didn't have the time to go to his so he started pulling the whole "why is it always me who has to come see you" when I'd been going to his for the whole duration of us being together. Also if I don't make plans to see him, I don't see him at all and he blames it on me but he never makes the plans.

I don't know, I'm starting to get really pissed off with this relationship like I just can't be bothered anymore but I don't know if I love him or I'm just so used to him being there for me. I don't like doing anything sexual with him, not because I'm frigid just because of the way he is and isn't very understanding.

I've always been scared to break up with him because of everything we've been through and in case he starts shit talking and I had no friends to fall back on or anything but he did because he kept his friends whereas I stupidly gave up mine to spend more time with him.

I broke up with him once about 4 months ago but it was literally for like 12 hours because he kept pestering me and we just ended up getting back together.

I'm just not happy lately, I feel too tied down and he always says like "I don't control you, you can do what you like" but that's not true. He doesn't literally say I can't do something but he makes it so if I do something he doesn't like he just goes all distant and in a mood and makes me feel down for doing it so I don't do it! Basically I don't do things like talk to friends, go out and stuff because he makes me feel like shit for doing it but claims he doesn't stop me doing anything and it's so complicated.

Fjnjdsuf. I just don't even know anymore, I need some advice.

View related questions: broke up, frigid, insecure, jealous, text

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A female reader, Cherrybomb13 United States +, writes (26 August 2012):

Break up with him. Hes wasting your time.

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