A
male
age
41-50,
*anzaban
writes:My girlfriend of 10 months and I have go through some serious issues - her manipulative ex disrupting things to begin with, big age gap, medical problem meaning no sex for months, meeting my kids. We've joked about how the things we've go through has made us so strong now nothing can phase us.A couple of months ago she looked at my mobile and found some txts between me and my best mate, part of the chat was me joking about a new girl he had and if she had a friend (because I wasn't having sex with my girlfriend). It was pure jesting, I do it all the time with him. I realise it didn't look great but she knows she can trust me.It did upset me she looked at my phone. I admit that, but I had nothing to hide really, just the fact she didn't trust me. Last night I had the opportunity to look through hers, and I did. And it was like being hit by a lorry.I found a text from her to her ex two weeks ago saying 'Miss u snugs' and a txt yesterday from him to her saying 'did you manage to get saturday off yet, love ya'. Now she told me she was planning to go away to her friends for the weekend and had already cleared it with work for Saturday so his txt is a bit confusing. It's hers to him I can't get out of my head.We had it out and she said it was just a stupid text, she felt terrible after she sent it. He texts her every now and then saying he still loves her and he misses her and she was trying to get him off her back by playing along with things. Not a great explanation.It doesn't wash with me. I'm well confused, she is so so so so sorry, she keeps telling me all last nite and today she doesn't want anyone else, she's never been so happy, she wants me and my kids, everyting is so right, she just doesn't know why she did it. Am I being a mug here? Why would she put miss you then a cosy little pet name? I really need some helpful advice, please don't analyse too deep why I looked at her phone, I just did and regret it now. I need to know if this is cheating or am I just being paranoid and should get over it and contniue being with this wonderful girl I love to bits?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Buddy, You have to look out for yourself and your children. If you are old enough to have children then you are in the same boat as me. When you get older and aren't married then every interaction with a significant other is an exploration into whether or not they are suitable to stay with. No more games. If she is doing this crap of communicating with an ex boyfriend like that then walk. She is not worth your time and trouble. Keep stepping brother.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): A stupid text msg to the ex is one thing but planning a weekend get away with him? You should probably have waited till after she met him and then you had the evidence but regardless, drop her like yesterday's newspaper.
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A
male
reader, manaja +, writes (12 November 2009):
Tell her you dont like , apologise , then finish with her, if she comes back, tell her not to text her ex again...she still cares for him otherwise she wouldnt do it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 November 2009):
I'm also with Q (no offence there Satine!). I think if it had just been a text, then you could have given her a second chance. But when there is the mention of a meeting as well, then I think you're being played.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): If it was just a stupid I miss you to shugeums text maybe a second chance...but not that she's set up to go away and he's set up to be th recieving party...uhuh. She's playing you for a mug, babycakes. sorry there satine sweetie...I'm with Q on this one.
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