A
male
age
41-50,
*igglywood
writes:My girlfriend met up with her ex at Glastonbury!I am having a really hard time getting my head round this and am wondering if this is the beginning of the end. My girlfriend of nearly 5 months has an ex who she finished with in Sep 10 who has been constantly contacting her trying to win her back. Last week I went with her and her kids to Glastonbury and she met up with him twice, after the first time I got upset and told her I didn't understand why she met him when all she's done in the past in slag him off for being horrible to her when they were together.When we first met she avoided his calls and texts (apparently) cos he was being a pain and almost a stalker but now she's spending hours with him at Glasto leaving me to my own devices and says I overreacted when I said I didn't like it.We have had a tough time together at Glasto and today haven't been in touch for most of the day, I really feel she needs to show me if she really wants us to work.How does this sound to you?
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male
reader, wigglywood +, writes (10 July 2011):
wigglywood is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnyway, I finished with her finally on Friday night and I think that I saw her for the last time last night - for the best I guess but strangely I still love her.
A
male
reader, wigglywood +, writes (3 July 2011):
wigglywood is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your answers.Well since I posted I went to and from between wanting to end the relationship, as my pride was hurt and trying to get my head round it.I went round on Thursday night, collected my stuff and said it's over. The next morning I apologised and said I was being hasty.With discussing it all I honestly don't believe that she wants to be with her ex though there are some feelings left over. She didn't think it would be a problem to see him at that place, as she has reassured me a few times that he's not a threat to us. The hurtful part is that after seeing him once I said I wasn't happy about her seeing him again but she did and said I was overreacting so I question whether she loves or respects me at all.She admits she doesn't feel as strongly as I do about the relationship and as it stands we're backing off and seeing how it goes. I can't see how we can work this out now to be honest but perhaps neither of us are 100 per cent ready to just say "that's it, forget the relationship!"
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (29 June 2011):
Caring Guy has said it all.
Don't let her treat you this way. You deserve better. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (29 June 2011):
I agree with caringguy. Listen man, there is a line between being a confident, cool guy and knowing when to give your partner freedom to do whatever she wants, which shows that you trust her and allow her to make her own choices. But on the other side of the line is knowing when someone is abusing your trust. You've had to deal with the drama of her going on about her ex, she should be at least mindful of this and ensuring there is distance between the pair of them so you can move on. She has not done this, she has not put you first, and in fact doesn't seem to actually really care about you or the relationship.
You should monitor how this situation unfolds, but be careful of constantly getting upset but not showing any consequence to her actions. If you get upset, but allow it to keep happening, it will become something that she does behind your back, to save you the upset. If her interests do not seem to be with you, you should seriously consider breaking up with her.
A girl that is in to you, will drop her ex to be with you, no questions asked.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): it sounds like she really isn't over him and was just using you as a rebound relationship to tie herself over while waiting for him to come back to her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 June 2011):
I completely agree that you are being played.
1 - All she has done during your relationship is entirely slag him off. In actual fact, this is proof she isn't over him because if she was, she wouldn't be talking about him all the time even if it is in a bad way.
2 - They finished last September - less than a year ago - and she has gone from hating him to suddenly speaking to him again, spending time with him again.
3 - He has spent all his time trying to win her back, and she has engaged with his behaviour.
4 - She has entirely thrown your worries aside, showing a deep lack of respect for you, and has since had little contact with you since you called her on it.
5 - The mere fact that whilst you were supposed to be with her and her kids at Glastonbury and she met him twice so soon is pretty degrading towards you.
I wouldn't wait around - just walk. You won't miss someone like this. And to prove how bad she is, she'll even try to blame you by saying you're overreacting and that you drove her to him because you didn't understand. Seriously, see whether I'm right. You should have no place in your life for unreliable people like her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): Dude, I was in a similar situation not long ago. Sorry to break it to you: you are the rebound guy. You were used so she doesn't feel lonely after her breakup. She has no feelings or respect for you despite her claims if she makes any. That is what users do.Leave her and walk away with your dignity..you will need it for your next relationship.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Clearly she got over being mad at her ex and obviously she is not over him like she acted. You are being played and you probably need to tell her that you love her, but the bottom line is this; it's either you or him. Then be prepared to walk.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Sounds to me she has not the slightest bit of respect for you or your feelings. And it also sounds like she enjoys manipulating the sentiments and emotions of others.
If after 5 months you are having this type of trouble you should cut your losses and tell her to get lost, that is unless you enjoy being the back up guy an the ear she gets to beat about her past relationships - this after dating only 5 months!
It is not going to be better and nobody will judge you as virtuous for sticking by such a floozy. She does not have any motivation to treat others with dignity and unless you think you do not deserve to be treated with dignity - you should throw some cold water on her narccissistic fire an tell her you do not wish to be a part of her childish little games.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): just remember that there was a reason they broke up. If he was so great, they wouldn't have broken up. that is unless it was him who left her and she wanted to stay together..?just play it cool, if you get all upset and clingy it will just make you look bad. don't try to stop her doing anything. If this means that she gets back with him then that's the way it has to be , it means she's not ready to be with you, and your trying to stop it wouldn't change anything. you want someone to be with you because they want to, not because you're trying to stop her being with someone else.
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