A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i was married for 4 years to a jerk and we got divorced an year back. My friend was there for me the whole time and we got really close that time. he works with me in the same office and said he loves me. i fell for him totally and he is younger to me by 3 years (i am 29 and he is 26). We are in relationship for 6 months. When we started he was really close, calls me twice/thrice a day, chats with me online and hangout for lunch and other stuff. For the past 1 month he is really acting weird, going offline whenever i try to communicate, most of time wont return my calls i.e. if i call 10 times he would call me once and never hangs out with me anymore and never texts me. We never talked abt marriage in the starting since i belived that since he loves me he would marry me eventaully. But now he is saying like he never promised anything abt marriage to me, he always likes to be my close friend but loves me more than a close friend, cant marry me cause his parents wont agree this (i am divorcee and elder than him and we are indians). We had sex for couple of times. i am sure he is not seeing anyone. i really love him but he is not reciprocating my love. i tried to break up with him few times but he is not agreeing for break up, says he wants to be my friend always. i tried to tell him that i cant be just his friend anymore, but whenver i start this conversion he chnages the topic or tries to irritate me over something else so i totally drop the conversion abt this. i wanted this relationship to work and i really love him. Can somebody advice on what to do?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 You said it all.
Now you are in pain, but pretty soon you will realize it was for the best.
Be brave. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the support. He broke up with me yesterday, said he moved on and met a cute girl whom he think would give a great company in bed and have good boobs. He says we can still be platonic friends and before i say anything he just swiched off his mobile. I was devastated and cried my eyes out, not cause he left me, cause i am such a fool to fall for a person which is this shallow. I dont know what i saw him as a friend in the first place. I wish i had the guts to have broken up with him long before. I have decided not to have any kind of contact with him anymore. I am done with this stupid jerk who used me shamelessly and thrown me away like trash. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of calling him again and begging him to come back. I dont need this asshole to make me happy. I am way off happy without him. I wish i could get over this jerk very soon.
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A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 I wish you luck and do move on it will hurt, but you will have your pride....please don't become the other women. Best of Luck.
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A
female
reader, medha  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 Good Luck!And the sooner you get him out of your mind the better. If a man loves you, he is surely going to marry you and nothing can stop or change that. If he is choosing his parents over you, he wasn't all that into you in the first place. No point crying too much over him. (I have been through it, so I know). And trust me... in my experience the next man is always better than the ex. So.. keep the hopes up!((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a tom for the reply. He says if he has met me before my first marriage he might have married me, age is not a problem to him, but me being the divorcee is the problem, that too from his parents.
He already hinted he might get married to a girl of his parents selection within 6 months. I know i dont have any future in this relationship, but the problem is i love him too much to give this up. I am planning to move out of this office, so i dont have to see him and hurt myself again.
Wish me luck guys.
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A
female
reader, medha +, writes (6 May 2010):
End it.
Run while you can. The longer you stay in this situation, the more you will torture yourself. Life is like that.
Best of Luck.
Love.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (6 May 2010):
If your both Indian than you understand how strong families ties can be and if the family disapprove of you he will not disobey them. You see no future in this relationship and you should think on you and don't set yourself up to be use and hurt like is, put a stop to it. Even if he comes begging and crying back to you if he is not willing to commit than you must be strong and give him the boot.
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (6 May 2010):
It's very unfortunate that things do not work out like we would like them to, most of the times in life.Like someone else mentioned, let it go. I might come out a little harsh but It seems like the guy was in the relationship with you because hes ur very close friend and no doubt he might be liking you a lot. But he somewhere took advantage of your vulnerable state after ur divorce. And we indian females, like to assume a lot of good things about guys who love us. So whatever. It is not the end of thr world. Stand with your head held high, it is not your fault if he was a wuss. Continue working. You are young and smart and someone definately better will come along and he will really love you.:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): The question is: why do you want someone so much who has said that they don't totally want you? I agree with Cindycares, it is a lost battle.
There is nothing wrong with you, but your male selection process may need work!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): I think this won't go anywhere. If he's stating he can't marry you because of age etc then what future do you have? I'm not understanding why 3 years is considered a big age difference. I'm not understanding why his parents would not support this relationship either you're both adults and I personally believe its his choice on who he wants to be with. His family would eventually come around. However it sounds as though he doesn't want to make waves with them.
Good luck,
;D
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Sorry sweetie but you are going to have to give up on this one.
He has never promised you anything, so you were more of a friend with benefits.
He is also only being a friend on his terms and really that is not ideal. Maybe he feels that he shouldnt encourage you since you are hoping for marriage and you are not the woman he wants to marry.
Honeygirl
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (6 May 2010):
Let it go. This is a lost battle.
It's true that he never promised anything serious, and he also told you that he can't marry because his parents would not accept you. So he does not consider you as a marriage candidate.
As for his "friendship " he is not acting as much of a friend, since he does not want to talk to you, or hang out with you,or return your calls . He wants to keep this "friendship " because he can use you for sex . He knows that you are there for him with no committment or obligation on his side.
I think you deserve something better.
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