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My boyfriend doesn't like oral sex because of the taste. What can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2011) 13 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend has only "gone down" on me once, and it was for about ten seconds. He had talked for a while about how the idea turns him on a lot. After those ten seconds, he never really said anything or did it again. He randomly told me while we were in the middle of foreplay that he didn't like the taste, which is weird, because I tasted myself that night and it didn't taste like anything. If it had any taste, it was a little bit sweet.

It annoys me to the point where it almost hurts my feelings that he made any comment at all when I swallow his cum without any complaint. It makes me feel very insecure and whenever he mentions something about it, we're always in the middle of messing around and it's an instant turn off for me. It's an awkward/touchy subject to talk about because I'm insecure about my body as it is.

It's been upsetting me so much to the point where I changed my diet to basically all fruit. No chocolate, no soda, no seafood...only fruits and some vegetables. I'm not a particularly heavy eater anyway. I eat about 2 meals a day. But he still seems put off by it, and I don't know whether to just think he's being a pussy because to me it does not taste bad at all.

Any suggestion on what I could to do make it taste better (I have excellent hygiene, also. I obsess over how clean I am in that area. I shave and "deep clean" every day.) or if you think that he's just being a douchebag, please tell me. I don't think his cum tastes like candy either, but I still swallow for him without complaint.

Sorry this is more of a venting post, and I apologize that this is also so long, but this has been my dilemma for the past two or three months. I have also had one other guy go down on me before, and he thought I tasted good, but I really care about my current boyfriend and I want him to like it. Sorry, once again, long post...

View related questions: foreplay, insecure, oral sex, swallow

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A male reader, MugenTj United States +, writes (17 July 2011):

MugenTj agony auntThe following was written for a male who asked about swallowing, but the topic was closed and I don’t want to let it go to waste. Logically it also applies to you, just reverse the players.

Love is a race where you don’t want to win or lose. Love making requires no words, body language is everything. Swallowing is my biggest fetish actually and I never have to ask my girlfriend to swallow. (For the ladies: you are 10 times as sexy when you drink our milkshake, although some men think otherwise.) I couldn't have been gladder that I was able to make love to her. Thus, the first few times, I was ready to let the idea go. As days went by (a week or so), one time after I ejaculated on the tummy, I simply took a sample with my finger and let her have a taste. Open-mind as she is, there was no protest, only a hint of being surprised. Then I cleaned her tummy with tissues and kissed her (I never fail to do this after sex) therefore tasting my own fluid (no need to go as far as drinking your cum to make a point, gentlemen, unless she asks ^^). Next day, she voluntarily swallowed my ejaculate. When we cuddled, I asked what she thought about it. She said she knows it's safe and rather beneficial to swallow. Yet, next time I ejaculated in her mouth, she didn't swallow. So I said "such a waste", nothing more. From then on, she swallowed whenever I ejaculate in her mouth.

That's my particular example, here is the theory: (I brought to this relationship my philosophy, no particular plan, things just unfold themselves.)

1. Love her, almost everything about her. Everything else follows this.

2. Treat her well.

3. Teach her to keep an open mind (if she isn’t quite so) by being ready to let things go (even this very wish) as well as open to new experiences - Then educate her that swallowing is safe if she didn't know already (by reading an article together. Do not impose 'your opinion'). Though in reality, cum is sorta like milk or egg white, not a waste product. Anything tasted for the first time is weird, can’t equate that to being “gross” as in unsanitary. It’s also tidier and a good way to avoid pregnancy.

4. Do express your wish in a gentle manner, especially by being indirect (it shows you are intelligent, and she is intelligent as well in order to read you right). Body language also says a lot: running fingers through her hair, caress her neck, rub her where she normally finds ticklish such as inner thigh and tummy.

5. Have infinite patience with her (hope but don't expect).

6. Be clean and eat healthy. If you did some research, you would know what to avoid.

7. Tell her jokingly how you enjoy her juice: “Do you have diabetes? (she’ll go ‘excuse me?’) When I ‘kissed’ you there, it smelled strange and tasted salty, but after a while it became sweeter. You ought to have less sweet!” To a smart woman, this means you are tolerant, patience, and enjoy her natural bodily functions, although it might be difficult at first. So without saying, she can and ought to do the same.

8. Once it does happen, kiss her and offer her a glass of water, then resume to give her a good long fuck (this time take it out on her butt cheeks, showing that she doesn’t have to swallow all the time). She might even say “thank you”, which my gf did (Who would expect!).

If you’ve done everything I said and no result, then you got a choice to make: accept the fact or find another girl. Be happy with your decision!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your prompt responses. It's not even really that he "forces" me to give him oral. I honestly thoroughly enjoy giving him oral, and I even like swallowing his cum (Apparently, according to him, it's strange that I enjoy doing it) but I feel like he might end up taking advantage of it. Or rather, IS taking advantage of that. I feel like I'm just too eager to please him during sex, which is a problem, I'm sure. Thank you for all of your advice, it is greatly appreciated!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

Many young men feel this way. Honestly i'd look for a different bf.

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A male reader, ClearEyes United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

I had an identical fear for the longest time, but I actually found that it didn't taste all that bad. Again, I really care about my girlfriend, and wouldn't let her oral me until I oraled her, I'm not sure how many guys would take that same stance though.

One thing I've noticed is that the taste is strongest at first, and lessens as more fluid builds up in that region, i guess it dilutes it? Have him use his fingers first, then after a good 5-10 minutes, have him go down. The taste and smell should be noticeably lest.

All girls have a smell/taste and there really isn't any way to improve it, its natural, its primal, its just going to be there. Explain the give/take concept to him, hopefully that works. I'd feel so guilty that I'd be forced to do it, no matter how bad it tasted, and maybe after he's forced into it, he'll adjust.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

you can actually be too clean and this will cause more problems because you are destroying the vagina's natural ph level that keeps it healthy. try using only a ph neutral soap for this purpose or one especially for the vagina. it is obviously just him that does not like it, lots of men love it, even when it is not fresh out of the bath or shower, your boyfriend was probably surprised that it had a taste at all, maybe expected it to be like the rest of your skin. i am guessing you are the first one he has done oral for? when he did this, as he only did it for 10 seconds and did not even give you chance to enjoy it, this could be that he just doesn't have the confidence in his ability and this could be the real reason that he wants to avoid doing it. if that is the case there is no answer to this, until he feels brave enough to try it properly, if he ever does do this for you again, give him lots of positive feedback to give him confidence

xx

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (21 February 2011):

angelDlite agony aunthi

you can actually be too clean and this will cause more problems because you are destroying the vagina's natural ph level that keeps it healthy. try using only a ph neutral soap for this purpose or one especially for the vagina. it is obviously just him that does not like it, lots of men love it, even when it is not fresh out of the bath or shower, your boyfriend was probably surprised that it had a taste at all, maybe expected it to be like the rest of your skin. i am guessing you are the first one he has done oral for? when he did this, as he only did it for 10 seconds and did not even give you chance to enjoy it, this could be that he just doesn't have the confidence in his ability and this could be the real reason that he wants to avoid doing it. if that is the case there is no answer to this, until he feels brave enough to try it properly, if he ever does do this for you again, give him lots of positive feedback to give him confidence

xx

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (21 February 2011):

LazyGuy agony auntWell, since you checked, that excludes one option, that is really does taste bad.

One other thing, although as a girl you probably know, the various holes are really close together and two of them really do got a bad taste. Be clean. Over the entire area, smell and taste are so close they can be the same.

But really, this is part of sex. It ain't clean or pretty. As you say, sperm don't taste all that nice either but you deal with it. He doesn't.

Doesn't that tell you enough about him? He wants you to suck on his pee-pee but thinks licking yours is dirty. Selfish much?

Personally I never favor any advice that sounds like trying to 'educate/raise' a boyfriend/girlfriend. It so rarely works out. If he doesn't know to give and take yet, then are you going to be the one to teach him?

Maybe give him one massive clue, then if he doesn't take it, dump him.

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A female reader, Jealousxoxo United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

Jealousxoxo agony auntIf you are eating fruits, I heard that Strawberries, Pineapples, and lots of red grapes. I also know that they sell things at spencers, victorias seceret, and bath and body works, the best place is VS they sell mooses and creams and powders that are ateable and you can rub onto the skin and lick. I hope this helps!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

I don't know if this would work, but he could try having a strong breath mint or using mouthwash right before. It might disguise the taste.

If he tries this and still doesn't like it, that doesn't make him a jerk. We all have boundaries on what we're comfortable doing, and I'm sure you wouldn't want him pressuring you to do something you're not comfortable with. So you shouldn't insist.

That said, your boyfriend should make sure to satisfy you manually, or some other way you find pleasurable; he doesn't get a free pass just because he's not going to perform oral sex on you. You should not perform oral sex on him, either, if he's not going to return the favor. (He's a jerk if he insists that you do something that he won't do.)

And his not liking your taste is really about him, not about you. Your current and previous boyfriends probably like different flavors of ice cream, or one prefers salty snacks while the other prefers sweet ones. Everyone has an individual sense of taste. As long as you're clean, his discomfort is a reflection on his taste, not a reflection on you. Keep reminding yourself of that!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

He may just be scared of something... I'd suggest taking a shower together, get each other really clean and then jumping into bed. Ask him to go down on you then, and see what happends.

If he refuses or does a poor job, after (when you're NOT in bed) talk to him about your wants, needs and desires and explain to him that oral is not optional for you. Se if he'll man up and get down there and give you some great oral.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

I don't believe you taste bad. He just might not like the taste of down there in general. He might have thought it was going to taste something scrumptious and delicious, but it's an acquired taste :) You're very kind to swallow for him. Does he know that he doesn't taste exactly like sugar either? Maybe you should see how he reacts if you dont swallow.

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A female reader, Nime United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

Nime agony auntThe best way to make yourself taste better is to eat more yogurt and definitely stop 'deep cleaning,' because that can give you a yeast infection as the soap can change your vagina's pH and wipe out your good bacteria. The vagina is very effective at cleansing itself (that clear sticky substance); try to wash the outsides only with water. Yogurt will neutralize any taste down there and the bacteria in it will also prevent yeast from overpopulating in your vagina and causing a yeast infection. I'm 24, eat yogurt every day and have never had a yeast infection and I taste and smell like nothing down there.

However, I don't think your problem is your taste, it's your boyfriend. If he is 16-17 like you I'd say he lacks the maturity to overcome the idea that he's putting his tongue in the same area as where you pee and excrete 'weird' vaginal fluids. He probably genuinely doesn't like the taste or smell, but it's not your fault, he's just not accustomed to feminine odors (however benign) and too lazy to bring himself to get over it. You already give him his oral so why should he try to reciprocate? You should ask your boyfriend directly about his aversion and tell him how you feel, but I have a hunch that at this point in his life your boyfriend isn't mentally ready to give you oral sex; in his mind blowjobs are sexy, but cunnilingus is not. If you can't deal with that you should leave him...

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A female reader, No watered down advice here! United States +, writes (21 February 2011):

No watered down advice here! agony auntStop swallowing his cum! Tell him it don't taste good. That's fair! He'll straighten up and fly right! Also tell him, that you never liked the taste of his cum but you do it because you love him. Try adding some whip-cream or candy sucker's if he still doesn't do it, then end all his oral sex as well. Fair exchange ain't no robbery! ijs!

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