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*ugenTj agony aunt


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*ugenTj's profile:

I'm 28 of age. I've been in a couple of relationships, and they taught me a good deal about how human interact. All in all I'm very reflective of my life. I'm always ready to discuss any topic about sex, psychology and philosophy.

Currently I am single, but also involved with a person in an undefined relationship. That is we truly love and care for one another, and have great sex, but we try not to label it in order to keep it free and healthy. Because of this openness, there is certainly the possibility of having the third and fourth person, but I'm sure we are both rational enough to deal with that when it happens.

I'm quite happy with my status, which has to do with the following practices:

Tease but don't insult

Insist but don't impose

Express but don’t show off

Exchange but don't trade

Care but don’t obsess

Hope but don't expect

Why did I have these problems with my first time?

Q.   A few words before i start my story: 1) i got to warn you that this post is going to get graphical! 2) i have a lot of doubts , its going to be a long text i'm 22 yo , male, and i was a virgin until yesterday, i went out and hooked up ...

A.   1 August 2011: First, Im wondering if this was her first time too. When I perform oral for my gf, my tongue does hurt, only because one of my lower tooth turns side-way, such that it will hit the bottom of my tongue. But it's nothing to worry about. You might ha... (read in full...)

What does a healthy relationship feel like?

Q.   Hi all, I have not had very many experiences in relationships. Some time ago, I got into a bad relationship and did not realize how bad it was until it began to threaten my performance at my job, my mood, my outlook on life and my confidence. I be...

A.   24 July 2011: A healthy relationship involves love, trust, respect, understanding, patience, confidence, compromise/sacrifice, fun and, dare I say, lots of sex (maybe more). It feels like all these things are required because they should be all parts of the same ... (read in full...)

Should I end it and find a relationship that best suits me?

Q.   Help. I have been ambivalent in whether or not I should stay with my bf. I need a definite answer asap. We have been together for 2 years. We had some really good times, we have a great connection, and we do love and care for each other. ...

A.   22 July 2011: It looks like you do want to move on if he continues like this. But it only seems to be that he follow the typical male pattern of relaxing once the chase seems over, especially when he doesn't realize you feel you are taken for granted. Of course, ... (read in full...)

Yesterday was my first blind date. Any insight on how it went?

Q.   yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a blind date... strangest experience ever! I don't go on dates (let alone blind ones) all too often, but it actually wasn't half bad, something to cross off the bucket list xP A friend who waitr...

A.   22 July 2011: That's ok. Just keep him posted on what you do (once every while), so that he knows that you think of him, no matter the distance. I would expect him to do almost the same. If not, make sure you ask how he is doing. Keep it consistent; don't overdo. ... (read in full...)

Partner is gender confused. Am I doing the right thing by staying with him? Need some help!

Q.   I feel im in a real dilema. I just really dont know what to do for the best. My partner i have been with now for over 2 years told me after about a year of being with him that wearing womens clothes is something he has always wanted to do from a ...

A.   21 July 2011: Stay with him, sure, as a friend, because you don't like him that way. You are just compromising yourself and I don't feel like you like him enough to accept him completely. On the other hand, I suspect that he always wants to be a woman. B... (read in full...)

Yesterday was my first blind date. Any insight on how it went?

Q.   yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went on a blind date... strangest experience ever! I don't go on dates (let alone blind ones) all too often, but it actually wasn't half bad, something to cross off the bucket list xP A friend who waitr...

A.   21 July 2011: It seems that things went rather well. It's hard not to get over excited, but it's best to keep it cool. It takes lots of time to truly know a person; do not rush. Wait a few days and see if he will set something up (another date or outing). If not, ... (read in full...)

I'm really nervous about kissing...I have no idea how to do it!!

Q.   I have never kissed anyone and neither has my boyfriend. He used to be very shy and quiet like me, but suddenly is teasing me about kissing all the time. I am really nervous. I have no idea how to do this, and now I feel worried sitting close to...

A.   20 July 2011: Easy. When you feel like kissing him, when you guys are together. There are lots of ways. Here is one: press your lips onto his, hard (but dont hurt him) then slowly pull back and look into his eyes for reaction. You hands should be on his shoulders ... (read in full...)

Have I made the right decision by not contacting my lover?

Q.   I'm a married mother of 2 and recently ended an affair with the love of my life. I know most people think this when they're having an affair but he truly was the love of my life. He was my first. We met in high school and 18 yrs later, met again ...

A.   20 July 2011: I hope he isn't encouraging you to get back together again. Unless your husband abuse you (when he didn't know that you cheated, not to say what the current lock down is alright.) You will have to work to gain his trust again. I think you have a ... (read in full...)

Is there a way to stop this unwanted attention from his ex?

Q.   I'm currently 16 years old, and I got asked out last September for the first time. We did not talk much for the first 4months as I was shy. After getting into arguments, I decided just to go for it and now we are closer than I have ever been to ...

A.   20 July 2011: You are doing great, in my opinion. Keep ignoring her. Just be mindful of your bf (as opposed to being paranoid) because in all likelihood that girl can be right. Just play it smart. ... (read in full...)

That last time I saw my BF, we had sex but now he's ignoring me??

Q.   Dear scorpio boyfriend has totally changed.He was the sweetest boy ever and he made me believe he was in love with.we were havin a distance relationship and we only seen twice. And then he came back from the states recently I was s...

A.   20 July 2011: It looks bad. Try and be prepared for the worst. If anything, learn from this experience. Long distance relationship (LDR) is shit. I was in 2 LDR before. I had the girl fell for me, but in the end, they aren't what I thought and hoped. So I guess I ... (read in full...)

I feel like he's bringing things he's seen in porn into our bedroom

Q.   I'm getting concerned. I feel my boyfriends' porn viewing is coming into our bedroom. On one hand, we have this amazing sex life, but on the other, I am noticing more and more that its taking a LOT to get him off, if he does at all. He does not ...

A.   19 July 2011: It's strange to me that you've been with this person for 2 years, and have such a good sex life without developing a good way to talk to one another about this sorta issue. Because for me the first thing in a relationship is communication. But I ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about his lack of interests and goals!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am having relationship problems, well obviously if I am asking for yalls opinions. I am in a relationship with a guy who is madly in love with me. Every girls dream right? Well wrong in my case. Don't get me wrong, I love him...

A.   19 July 2011: Now, I know you wouldn't ask him about goals ans stuff unless you care about your future together. However, the best thing to do is remain focused on yourself. If anything you can be a role model for him, but try not to kill his ego either. Sinc... (read in full...)

We want to have sex but she is too dry! Help!

Q.   I love my girl soo much which is tha same case with her.. Bt the problem is she is a "virgin".. Every time we try having sex she gets dry and it becomes difficult for me.. Help help? Or should i use a condom for lubrication??...

A.   19 July 2011: What did you try? Girls takes a bit of time to become wet. Kiss, touch, squeeze, oral, finger...then maybe she'll be ready. First time will be messy though. Be prepared. It won't be easy. Do think about contraceptives and possible side effects as ... (read in full...)

I keep holding onto something that hasn't been there in months, just waiting and hoping...

Q.   well hello there. :) i'm really looking for advice. i was dating this guy for six months, and everything was going great. not only was he my boyfriend, he was my best friend. i could tell him anything, we never fought, hung out all the time, an...

A.   19 July 2011: Action plus Reason get you over things faster. He was your best friend and you guys dated. That might have been your side only, because I can't imagine why he would think it was too fast and break it off unless he wasn't that into you. Sometim... (read in full...)

I'm tired of always having to tell them to stop or back off.

Q.   I have a boyfriend that I'm deeply in love with. But I'm also the type of girl that gets along better with guys than I do with girls. here's the problem, every time I meet a guy that I want to be friends with he either ends up liking me way too ...

A.   19 July 2011: I dont know about you, but when I have found my true love, there is hardly enough time to spend with that person. Why bother making friends? Well, that was rhetorical. I'm sorry to break it to you, men are like that. If you don't want to change ... (read in full...)

How do I overcome being attracted to gay men?

Q.   I find myself attracted to gay men often unknowingly, most of the time I don't find out they're gay until later. I realize it's mostly because they're safer and less threatening than straight men, who I almost have a fear of. How do I overcome this? ...

A.   19 July 2011: I think what you really want is a straight man with a soft side. Hard to find, but there are out there. Goood luck!... (read in full...)

Some questions on sex in the shower and why can't I orgasm?

Q.   Hiya All, I have some questions on sex. 1) I've heard some women physically can't orgasm. Is there any way to know if you can't climax? I've been sexually active with my boyfriend for 8months now and he knows my body and what i like better than...

A.   18 July 2011: I think you should do some research about different ways contraceptives and how effective they are and their side effects. Just Google. I've been with my gf for a month and we have sex often. I just do my best not to ejaculate inside her. This... (read in full...)

I don't feel comfortable letting my boyfriend see me in full light!

Q.   I still feel a bit awkward about the idea of letting my boyfriend see me without a stitch on during the daytime, or with the lights on after dark. I'm pretty comfortable about most of my body being unclothed but when it comes to the parts hidden by ...

A.   18 July 2011: Frankly, it comes down to accepting what you naturally born with. The more you are comfortable with yourself the more he won't notice your imperfections (which can be relative). As far as keeping the light on, I'd say it's ok to be a bit shy, lea... (read in full...)

He was cold and indifferent when he broke up with me, what does his email mean?

Q.   Dear all. My boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me today cuz we fight too much. He thinks im too jealous and doesnt want to be with me no matter how much i pleaded.. He was so cold and indifferent. Before he used to cry i send him an email ...

A.   18 July 2011: IN my experience, when you are in a bad relationship due to any factor, try not to be emotional in order to think what is best for the both of you. IN this case the guy already want to break up. That's what matter! Do not try to guess a guy's ... (read in full...)

H'es cheated before.. do you think he'll do it again?

Q.   My boyfriend lives a couple hours away and i only get to see him in the summer and at some basketball games. He has cheated on a girl before but that was his first time cheatin on someone. Its been awhile since he has cheated but im afraid he might ...

A.   18 July 2011: Possible? Yes! Will he? Probably. Should you worry? No. How? Stay focus in school and wait until you old enough. In the mean time, keep asking good questions and increase your wealth of knowledge. I know, it's summer. So the best you can do is ... (read in full...)

How can I get the courage to be more forward and keep men's interest without seeming clingy or slutty?

Q.   I'm 24 a virgin and currently single. Have been for the last two years. I have gone on several dates in that time and none of them progressed into anything. . . I'm getting really discouraged. I'm not the type to be very physical on a first or ...

A.   18 July 2011: Please! You do not want to be forward, as that will only attract the kind of men you wouldn't want to be with. The reason youf past dates didn't progress further because "it wasn't meant to be". Have some courage and expect that in the future there ... (read in full...)

I'll cry at almost anything!

Q.   I don't really know what my question is. I guess I sort of want to know, why I'm always so emotional. I'll cry at almost anything. I honestly watched a movie just less than 20 mins ago and it made me cry soo much. Then I went on Facebook and saw ...

A.   18 July 2011: It's ok. I'm not the crying type, but I had such moments too. Especially when I can get no real support from family. Friends too concern about their lives to even ask how I do. All you can do is sit and listen to that loneliness and realize that you ... (read in full...)

Afraid to tell him how I feel because I don't want to lose the friendship.

Q.   i have feelings for my close guy friend and i need them to stop. he has no idea how i feel, but we both have had conversations about relationships with friends and how it's too risky and how it could ruin a friendship if the relationship ends badly. ...

A.   18 July 2011: Respect your feeling. The thing about feeling is that you can't really stop them by any force. One option is to stay as far away as possible, but that isn't an option you'd prefer. I'd suggest just accept them for what they are. Do whatever you feel ... (read in full...)

Blowing into someone's ears, what does that really mean?

Q.   Hey, OK so I've seen how many people ask this question, and I'm going to ask the same question because it's a bit different. We all (friends) went out, and my guy frd blew in my ear/side face. When he first first did it, while we were walk...

A.   18 July 2011: In general, that's flirting. Same with language, anything can mean anything else, depend on the person. So you can start speculating, but why would you response to anyone's body language unless you understand what they are trying to tell you. Next ... (read in full...)

Why can't I see a true love in my friends?

Q.   The question is about my best friend, she was in relationship with a guy for 4 years and were seeing each other since 3 yrs before that.It has been 5 years since I met this friend ,she was totally into this guy at that time and I can say since she ...

A.   18 July 2011: Try not to make this about you. I mean it is okay that you don't understand what is going with them. The problem is just that she comes to you listen to her problems, but she might not want you truly involved otherwise she would have told you ... (read in full...)

We're friends with benefits but does he want more?

Q.   Im friends with benefits with my ex boyfriend. We broke up years ago we were both really young, but now we're 16. We were fwbs before but then one of my friends asked me out, I was totally surprised as I thought he was gay. So I said yes and broke ...

A.   18 July 2011: It's smart to hold off the sex until you are more sure. Because the first time is indeed special to a girl. The fact that you are confused is normal as well. At your age, you should try to practice having relationship that defines more clearly. By ... (read in full...)

Is she interested or not?

Q.   Hi guys,ive been on this site for a while,im in a bit of confusion about a girl,we met about a year or two ago at a mutual friends place though i didnt take much notice of her(i found her attractive but didnt pursue coz the ex was kinda in the ...

A.   18 July 2011: You are in good shape as long as she is returning your call and text (if not always promptly, ppl have stuff to do you know), and especially if you guys hang out on occasions. Now, if she has game then by all mean watch your own back, cause anyo... (read in full...)

Please help...I'm in love with my best friend and he won't talk about it!

Q.   Hi :) Here's the thing, I have fallen in love with me best friend (who's a guy), and i don't know if he feels the same. He told me that he likes me, and said that we should think about being together. We started spending more time together, still as ...

A.   18 July 2011: Hi! Give your best friend some time to think, reflect and adjust to the change. In the mean time, be ready to accept that he only sees you as a friend. If I was you, and when I find this person worthy of my love, I will continue to demo... (read in full...)

Help me with this situation. I wonder if I really love him and he really loves me.

Q.   i am married and have been seeing a married friend for almost a year. we agreed on no strings attached policy. in Feb we decided to break it of as i suggested he try and work things out with his estranged wife. he still comes over. we don't to...

A.   18 July 2011: You're situation is very intriguing! Since moral is a relative concept, what you're doing is fine is my book. EXCEPT, you always have to think about who you might be hurting, along with who you are making more happy. If in your shoes, and every... (read in full...)

After losing my virginity will it be really difficult to stop having sex?

Q.   Is it true that once you start having sex it becomes really difficult to stop? I know my current boyfriend is the man I want to lose my virginity to (I wouldn't be his first), but we're an LDR so only get to meet up every 2-3 months. If we go ...

A.   18 July 2011: What I would do is asses what kinda of man he is: faithful, patience, strong-willed, and most of all does he really care about you? Quite honestly, it's not exactly addicting, but there is no reason to stop. A man's body always drives for sex,... (read in full...)

To give head or not to give head? That is the question!

Q.   To give head or to not give head? That is the question. Okay, talk about an icebreaker! Here's my situation. I've been dating a guy officially for a month this coming Saturday. Before officially dating, we casually dated for another month. W...

A.   17 July 2011: It seems to me a lot of people ask all kind of relationship question because they are dating the wrong type of person, as I used to do, or they themselves have issues. But when you ask for an advice, people won't say that you have issues to be ... (read in full...)

Why swallow? whats the pleasure?

Q.   dear readers, i would like to ask the men out there and possibly the women why men like a girl to swallow their semen? why is it attractive to men to see there girlfriend swalllowing the product of their energy? some women say it tastes awfu...

A.   17 July 2011: Let's see! -Cumming gives pleasure (a biological fulfillment). -The proper environment is the vagina. -The mouth is warm and moist, a good simulation. -Extra suction when the girls, well, suck as we cum. -Swallowing, following the simulation... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't like oral sex because of the taste. What can I do?

Q.   My boyfriend has only "gone down" on me once, and it was for about ten seconds. He had talked for a while about how the idea turns him on a lot. After those ten seconds, he never really said anything or did it again. He randomly told me while we ...

A.   17 July 2011: The following was written for a male who asked about swallowing, but the topic was closed and I don’t want to let it go to waste. Logically it also applies to you, just reverse the players. Love is a race where you don’t want to win or lose. Lo... (read in full...)

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