I have a younger sibling who is constantly getting on my nerves. What really bothers me is her attitude. For example just recently our parents said if we get hungry we should eat the leftovers we had in the fridge and nothing else. So not 30 minutes later, I come downstairs to find her eating a bag of marshmallows. I tell her to put them away and give her a warning. She says she is sorry and does as I ask. An hour after that I find her eating a bag of pretzels which she opened herself, without permission! So I send her upstairs, to my parents, and she doesn't get in trouble at all. When she comes down she puts them away and I calmly tell her that she has got to start listening to the rules, and I turn around to put the pretzels away for her and I hear her muttering "he's so stupid" under her breath. At this point my temper flares and I barge up to her and she goes NUTS. Screaming, crying, and kicking me. So our parents call us up and even though she was the only one actually physically fighting I get yelled and told to never put my hands on my sister again, and she has nothing happen to her. What should I do about my sister and the way my parents treat us both?
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reader, SillyB +, writes (21 February 2011):Well okay, from reading your example, I'm inclined to give you an objective opinion.
First, LIVE a little. Break some rules. So your parents said you had to eat something in the fridge. Why follow the rules so religiously? Your sisters figured it out, sometimes some rules are meant to be broken. Especially when it comes to little things like this, no one gets hurt, no big deal.
Second, leave the enforcement of rules to your parents. Its not your job to tell your sister to put the food away and pack it away from her. A more mature way of dealing with it would have been to go upstairs and nicely tell your parents "hey by the way, Jessica is eating Marshmellows" and let them figure out what they want to do about it. If its a big deal to them they'll let her know and if not they'll let things be. You don't need to boss her around, just relax a little. Let your parents do the policing.
Third, you barge up to her? Well that can be alittle threatening! I mean your older and a boy, bigger built, it might have been frightening. She didn't know whether you'd hit her or push her. You have to understand that male aggression to a female can be scary. Her reaction was normal although perhaps slightly exaggerated to get your parents attention. As a male, you need to keep calm and collected. No one respects someone that loses their temper so easily and barges upto other people picking a fight or getting in their face.
So in all, just relax. Let your parents discipline your sister and set the rules for her, you do what you think is right for you. Just be your sisters friend and enjoy being young!!
Good luck buddy!
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reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (21 February 2011):It goes back to the dinosaur days that parents have their pick of the litter. My mom put me out at 17 because my sister and I were arguing over her sleeping with my boyfriend. 20years went by; I never forgave my mom for that. And 2 weeks before my mom died, while I was doing her hair she said “Sweetheart, I put you out instead of your sister because I knew you would make it, and she would always need me” I went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. I returned and nothing else was ever mentioned about that day. So, our parents know what is best for us, it may seem unfair, but it prepares us for the real world and this thing called life.
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