A
male
age
30-35,
*learEyes
writes:I broke up with my girlfriend with the intention letting her roam about for a while before I went off to college, to let her see if she really loved me enough to stay with me despite the fact that I was away. (As an ulterior motive though, there was another girl that was a better fit for me that I wanted to pursue also, but my girlfriend didn't know this and still doesn't). My girlfriend then proceeded to have sex with 3 guys at a party and do other things with 3 others. The guys she had sex with were opposite me, I'm more of a clean cut athlete type, they were these big husky thug type guys, and they kind that are making me really insecure about my penis and stuff now, despite the fact that its alightly above average and was MORE than adequate during our relationship. (or so I thought). I was pretty upset, but I let it go. I'm sort of well liked at my school, and she complained to me all the time that she was sickened by the fact that she had to be referred to as "My name's ex", and not her name. She was kind of an under the radar person socially. She got lots of shit in school from my friends, teammates and the ex's of the guys she got with. She texted me apologizing, but said that it was clear now that she was more experienced that we should be seeing different types of people.This absolutely crushed me, for the 6 months we dated, she made me feel like superman. We were each other's firsts and she always sweet nothinged about how I was perfect for her and such, stuff I didn't really take to heart, but considered compliments nontheless. Now I question my entire relationship and my skills with girls period. I'm so paranoid about things already, but the fact that all she had was sex with these guys makes me feel like they Outsexed me and thats why shes over me. What makes that idea so terrifying is that I worked insanely hard to make the sex as awesome as possible, researching and taking tons of time for foreplay and ensuring that she was satisfied before I was. Idc why she did this, the reputation she built for herself will stay with her for the rest of high school, but how can I get myself out of this funk. Idk if I can call it depression, but I've been down, unable to eat, unable to run or hurdle properly for track and have not attained an erection even in the morning at any time in the last 3 days. What is happening to me and How can I make it stop?
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broke up, crush, erection, foreplay, insecure, my penis, period, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, FaddedDay  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 First of all, you need to calm down. The symptops you mentioned do sound like those of a depression, and if you continue this way, it is possible for you to form an erectile dysfunction. Your girlfriend was acting rashly, girls are prone to emotional outbursts that we will possibly regret later. I'm not saying what she did was right, but i'm saying that there was nothing hidden behind it. You need to let her go, get with the girl that you were considering, and forget this mess. If you are doubting your skills, get outsider info. "Hook up" with someone else, and see how they like your talents in the bedroom (yes, that sounded cheesy, and I apologise)
A
female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 I don't like your hidden motive for letting this girl `roam' and I wonder if this created a bad karma for you with what has come to pass since. The girl seems to have had it tough as well. Anyway, that's all in the past.
There is a lot of hurt happening here. Don't continue questioning your entire relationship, perhaps you could just look back and say that it was good while it lasted. Take all of your sex research and put it to good use in your next relationship.
The guys she has had sex with have not `outsexed' you, she has just decided to move on in a new direction. It sounds like there was more than just sex in the relationship you shared with her but it is over and you need to look past it.
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A
female
reader, cca9130  +, writes (19 April 2011):
Besides the fact that I feel that you were quite unfair with her because you weren't true with your feelings with her and you sound quite superficial, don't you think that this problem you're having with erections are because you're having guilt or remorse? It's clearly a psychological problem, so I would say, as a psychologist myself, that you find the actual problem that is bugging you and interfering with your erections and unblock it. Meditate, ask yourself: Why is this happening to me? Is it really because she had sex with this type of men or is it because she wasn't as in love in the relationship as you thought she was and now you feel like the one being used and after all the hard work you put in the intercourse, you feel she didn't had such a great time as you thought she was having.
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