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*ca9130

Costa Rica  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ca9130's profile:

I'm a professional psychologist, and eventhough I work in organizational psychology, I have lots of good, down to earth advice to apply in a relationship, although sometimes I do get quiet nervous myself.

I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.

Q.   So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...

A.   21 October 2014: Cindy Cares and Jls022: thanks for your answers, wow...it really left me speechless. I understand better now my problem and how to slowly work it out. During these two years I always tried to tune it down, tried to be in the middle ground...i ... (read in full...)

I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.

Q.   So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...

A.   21 October 2014: Ok, i understand all of your affirmations, maybe I was too rough on him. I also left out some important details about our relationship, but that's okay. So basically i'm screwed then....because i already took this decision. I was supporting, i ... (read in full...)

I gave an ultimatum to my boyfriend: start talking about your feelings or lose me.

Q.   So, i've been searching on google about giving ultimatums and all of them are related to getting married and stuff. Mine is way more simple. Basically, our stone in the path of our two year relationship has been his constant closure towards love and ...

A.   20 October 2014: Thanks for your answers! Ciar: I found this link very helpful, thanks for sharing it with me. I do understand that my view of the world can be overwhelming for a man like my boyfriend, who is a thinker. I just must say that I have given him ... (read in full...)

Been single for 9 months. So why am I attracted to Players and Commitment Phobic men?

Q.   i find myself stuck. Iam really attracted to good looking men who are commitment phobic/players. I've tried dating the nice guy and i get really bored and not at all interested. Ive been single 9 months now and i just want a good relationship. sick ...

A.   20 October 2014: Hello my friend. I seriously think you should stop worrying about finding a boyfriend and just live life. I've found that when you don't search for things, they eventually land in your life. Let things be, go out with your friends, take a trip, ... (read in full...)

He seems interested since I said I was getting a divorce

Q.   There's a guy I am attracted to we talk every once in a while. Last December he introduced to the very close friend who is now his girlfriend. Only last month I told him that I will be getting a divorce. Now he seems interested in me but I am ...

A.   26 May 2014: I think he is not intrested in you as you think. Let him suffer while you're single for a while...don't be the reason the reason for their break up, be strong and make him search you and follow you. Either way, finish your divorce first and then ... (read in full...)

My ex treated me better than this boyfriend!

Q.   I was in a relationship for 9 yrs with my ex boyfriend who I dumped a year ago since the relationship was going no where and there was lot of trouble as it was a long distance relationship. After breaking up I immediately got into another ...

A.   26 May 2014: This is very complicated because a 9 year relationship is not very easy to let go of....i was in a very long relationship too and after we broke up, i have had difficulty finding someone that compliments me the same way as he did. I would say that ... (read in full...)

Whose move next?

Q.   A man I like, whom I met several months ago and have bumped into a couple of times asked for my number when we randomly saw each other one evening a few weeks ago. I had a missed call 2 weeks ago and I sent a text back to say I saw the missed call ...

A.   26 May 2014: Yeah, i would take the upper hand too and call him and arrange something....though i would like to add that if a guy really likes you, he contacts you even more so he can get to know you better, or he might just be looking for a one night stand. I ... (read in full...)

What should my next move be with this other guy?

Q.   a guy declared his love to me about two weeks ago, but i told him i couldn´t just go with him because i was dating this other guy who's been longer with me. Though we might break up. I told guy#1 that i wouldn't break up with my guy because of h...

A.   10 December 2012: thanks!! it's a great answer and I followed your advice. i'm going to focus on my boyfriend first :)... (read in full...)

How do YOU handle an OCD boyfriend?

Q.   When I met my boyfriend, he looked just fine to me, until some weeks later that I went to his house and found a Fluoxetine box in his nightstand, which is usually for depressive disorders, but can also be used for anxiety ones, like the one he told ...

A.   3 November 2012: I want to emphazise the fact that I'm not being his therapist, like I mentioned in the main question. But you're right in the fact that what he's saying to me doesn't sound right.... (read in full...)

How not to be a nagging girlfriend

Q.   I've realized I tend to look a lot at flaws in my boyfriend instead of looking and focusing in the good things. I remember that with my first boyfriend, everything was perfect (this was four years ago). After a very sad and painful breakup, I had ...

A.   20 August 2012: Thank you all! I really liked the answers I've read, specially Abella. I will take your advice and repeat to myself every night the sentences you gave me and at some moment this nagging will dissapear. Basschick is wrong, my boyfriend is older than ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my #1 guy about my 'stalker'?

Q.   So, I'm dating a guy, it's been only two weeks and I really like him, I would love to be his girlfriend one day. But, there's this other guy who's been almost stalking me since I broke up with an exboyfriend almost two months ago. I finally accepted ...

A.   8 April 2012: I'm sure he can trust me, I've been drunk plenty of times and went out with my friends while having a boyfriend and nothing has ever happend. You can't judge me for ONE moment. It wasn't two kisses, it was only one and the "dates" weren't even ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my #1 guy about my 'stalker'?

Q.   So, I'm dating a guy, it's been only two weeks and I really like him, I would love to be his girlfriend one day. But, there's this other guy who's been almost stalking me since I broke up with an exboyfriend almost two months ago. I finally accepted ...

A.   8 April 2012: I didn't date him, I went to tell him that I don't want anything with him. I know he's not my stalker, just that he pushed me a lot. I know that what I did is wrong, but it's not like I cheated. So tell me Cerberus "what kind of girl he's dealing ... (read in full...)

Living with his parents, watching him watch football -- sometimes it feels like I'm wasting my time

Q.   I've been with my bf for over 2 years now and I feel like nothing has changed or moved forward in our relationship we are stuck in a bungalow with his mum and dad and ass hole of a brother and it's starting to take its toll. All my bf is interest...

A.   8 April 2012: Have you ever talked about your feelings with you bf? Maybe he'll understand. Sometimes, it's hard to leave from a situation like this because you love him and you've been connected with this guy for two years now. I believe that you should put your ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to remain strictly friends after a break up?

Q.   Is it possible to remain friends after a break up? Are there specific situations where there is no possibility of friendship? Are there any rules? I have never wanted to remain friends with any of my ex's just ended it and moved on, however I am ...

A.   8 April 2012: Simple answer: if you know that if you offer him friendship and that he'll only accept if there's sex involved, why would you ask him in the first place? More developed answer: there is a real world were exs can be friends, but there's one very esse... (read in full...)

I moved on from my ex, but I think he left something that's interfering with my relationships with other guys!

Q.   I had a boyfriend for year and a half, I really believed it was true love and that we would marry someday. He broke up with me the day I lied to him when he asked me if I had cheated on him when he went away to Israel for six months (by that time, I ...

A.   27 April 2011: I liked your answers! I will work on myself first, I told this new guy to be patient with me, because I'm still working on this issues which are not related with my ex, but with me and who I am. I apologized with him truely once, but I think I still ... (read in full...)

I've been stuck in limbo with my ex for 5 years now! What should I do?

Q.   I have a problem w/ my ex here. It may sound weird, but we broke up 5 years ago and I still can't get over him. We were in junior high school and just got introduced to each other for one week before we made up for a relationship. In fact, I wasn't ...

A.   26 April 2011: I liked your story and I could feel identified. I really don't know what to tell you, it seems to me like a lot of drama. Only you can let someone go but I know from experience that it's very hard, specially when you were so sure it was true love. ... (read in full...)

I have this sense of guilt like I cheated! Have I done something wrong?

Q.   Early in my relationship, my girlfriend and I just were very honest about our past sexual history. Probably for most, too honest. Through all this, I admitted to her having slept with a friend of mine, at a time when we were both single and it ...

A.   26 April 2011: it's okay, I know how you feel, you didn't do anything wrong and every answer on this post has told you the same thing, it was good that you were honest with your girlfriend and told her about it, but keep the details to yourself. Only if she asks, ... (read in full...)

Messy breakup is making me question myself, what is happening to me and how can I make it stop?

Q.   I broke up with my girlfriend with the intention letting her roam about for a while before I went off to college, to let her see if she really loved me enough to stay with me despite the fact that I was away. (As an ulterior motive though, there was ...

A.   19 April 2011: Besides the fact that I feel that you were quite unfair with her because you weren't true with your feelings with her and you sound quite superficial, don't you think that this problem you're having with erections are because you're having guilt or ... (read in full...)

He doesn't believe what we have is love!

Q.   well yesterday was valentines and my boyfriend and i were really happy bout it. anyways i got him something really sweet and i thought that he'd like it. he did though, but he didnt get me anything, that was okay .. i just really wanted to spend the ...

A.   16 February 2011: i say break up with him before he does it to you, it's harsh to admmit it, but if a guy says something like that, send him flying awaaaaaaaay and never let him come back... (read in full...)

Is it ok for a woman to chase a man?

Q.   I'm confused with my role as a woman in the flirting section of a relationship. I've been told plenty of times that it's the man that really must take the first steps but I feel I'm a very dominant woman (and I can tend to choose men that are ...

A.   16 February 2011: thanks a lot for your answers! they made me feel more confident about who i am. I'll talk to him and let him know about my decision of not kissing him that night. Thanks a lot!!... (read in full...)

I'm trying to get her to fall in love with me!

Q.   im in love with this girl who goes to the same college as me and my best friend. I see her every week day because where doingn the same course. were ok friends because we sit on the same table as each other along with my best friend and four others. ...

A.   15 February 2011: The answer posted before was very harsh and that's not true. Sometimes, like the friend of yours that declared to her and she said no, the girl is not that into you. If you see that she's not answering a lot on conversations, it's 50% chance that ... (read in full...)

Can someone help me see the logical steps in this breakup?

Q.   i've recently broken up with my first love, i've tried to have a 'rebound' and plenty of guys are interested in me but i am really hating being single. I feel like such a failure who will only ever watch it work out for others. He dumped me and told ...

A.   15 February 2011: I know how a breakup feels, it's horrible and everybody has been through it at least once in their life time. You must be strong and let the wound heal before you try to get a new love and even after that, a relationship like the one you had is hard ... (read in full...)

I wonder whether this guy like me. Help!

Q.   I wonder whether this guy like me. I had noticed that he looked at me quite often. A friends mentioned to him ( as she knows him) that she should invite him and I over for a meal as we are both single. He was ok about that. He from there on ...

A.   13 February 2011: I don't know. I don't feel this guy is really into you....i'm just being honest. Maybe if you spend a little bit more time with him you'll find out or maybe you will cautivate him! Good Luck :D... (read in full...)

I don't think its fair to start a relationship with this guy if I'm not completely over my ex.

Q.   hi ive posted on here a long time ago. So if any of you read my other questions, some were about a guy i was involved with. We ended up dating and i was extremely happy. However we broke up about a year ago. I was devistated and i basically gave up ...

A.   2 February 2011: Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief and breakups, so it's okay if it's been a year and you still aren't over him. If my guess is correct, I bet he's your first boyfriend or first love, since you are young, and it will be really hard ... (read in full...)

Should I continue with his game of evasiveness?

Q.   so here's the deal: i've been dating this guy for two weeks, he's great and we've made each other very clear that we like each other a lot and that we would like to be a serious relationship but to take things slow and see what happens. we already ...

A.   5 December 2010: thanks! though we didn't have sex, it was just like touching and stuff, but it still counts....still, thanks for the answer! i'll do just that... (read in full...)

I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22.

Q.   I'm sick and bored of every day. I've never been in love and I'm turning 22. I'm sick of going to lectures, studying, and then coming home. Every day, nothing happens. I don't meet new people because I'm too big of a loser to go out socializing. ...

A.   8 November 2010: I believe that the more times you tell yourself that you're a depressed guy and a horrible one, the more you repel girls. Plus, you may not believe me, but if you actually begin to think: i will have a nice relationship, you will get one! but stop ... (read in full...)

How do you stop thinking about your first girlfriend?

Q.   How do you stop thinking about your first girlfriend? its been almost 6 years now and i still cant stop thinking about her....

A.   7 November 2010: maybe you need some closure. you need to end things emotionally with her so that you can get over her. try not thinking about her, date, i know it's hard, and you'll never forget her, but you need to put aside the love you had so that it wont ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid playing guitar hero at his house will lead to sex

Q.   So I am dating this guy and I want to take it slow with him but we are both very hot for each other, but I still want to take it slow and not have sex, we've been dating for only a week. He invited me to his house to play guitar hero, but I'm afraid ...

A.   25 October 2010: thanks! those answers are really good :D... (read in full...)

He's confused about his girlfriend and oscillates between wanting to be friends and then wanting more from me

Q.   Hi,can someone tell me if this situation is fixable? about month ago I ran into my chilhood crush who I haven't seen in 15 yrs. We started talkin and to my suprise he had a crush on me too back then. The problem now is he has an on/off girlfriend of ...

A.   8 September 2010: but he doesn't have a girlfriend, he broke up with her a year and a half ago...... (read in full...)

Should I take it slower?

Q.   so i have been dating this guy for almost three weeks now, we've been having a great time and i'm very happy since i got out of a long relationship and i'm finally moving on. i feel i'm ready for a new long relationship, i like the feeling and the ...

A.   8 September 2010: thanks! i really like him, it's been a long time since we both broke up so the rebound face is over ;)i will take it slower, thanks!... (read in full...)

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