A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So trying to cut it short. Pregnant with second child different man to first and first childs dad is not around.Been friends with this man 2 years together for 10 months .. My son is 2 and they get on well however since getting pregnant (unplanned) things have been difficult between us I will be honest more on my side whether its hormones I don't know. Haven't wanted to see him much and been quite confused about whether I want our relationship, Well he gets frustrated and starts to name call and be nasty when he cant see me.I ended the relationship and said cant deal with it right now. He's saying he still wants to see my son even if we are not together I don't know what to do for the best.Should he still see my son that isn't his? he'll obviously he will have contact with his baby when baby is born and that's great.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2015): Two possible long term scenarios you need to consider:1) Baby Daddy #2 has no legal standing in your son's life and at some point may lose interest in playing step-father, especially if he moves on to a new relationship and has other kids and/or acquires new faux-step-children.2) Baby Daddy #1 could reappear at any time and decide he wants to be a part of his son's life, and you'd have no right to deny a father and child access to each other (barring substance abuse, mental impairment or criminal activity). You've conceived two children under less-than-ideal circumstances and it is your responsibility as their mother to put their best interests ahead of your own personal concerns. I would consult a family law attorney to ensure your children have all possible legal protections in place for all foreseeable contingencies absent certificates of marriage.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (27 May 2015):
 I think since this guy WILL be in your life and CAN be a positive influence for BOTH your children I would. I would NOT give him unsupervised visits with child 1 though.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 May 2015):
 Kudos to him for wanting to be a stable male figure in this boy's life.
IF you can manage to behave as an adult and accept that this man will be in your life as the father of one of yours and quasi father to your other one, I would graciously accept his desire to parent both children and think long and hard about what you may be throwing away.
he sounds like a good man.
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