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Is it not as easy, as it seems, to get pregnant for some people? Anything else that could help?

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2015)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My fiancé and I have been trying for a baby for 8 months now, in that time we've only conceived once but sadly that pregnancy ended in miscarriage a few months back.

Recently we've been trying like rabbits to conceive again, in every position you could think of, but it doesn't seem to be happening.

Without trying to sound too disgusting, I do produce and release a healthy amount of sperm, I have a really high sex drive and my fiance had been checked over after the miscarriage and she was told she's as fit and healthy as could be expected for a 22 year old woman.

You read about it all the time girls/women falling pregnant by accident, but I guess my question is; Is it not as easy as it seems to get pregnant?  

View related questions: conceive, fiance, sex drive, sperm, trying for a baby

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2015):

8 months isnt very long, try not to worry, my fiance and I tried for two and a half years, and i thought the problem was me. I am also 22, It was actually my husband. We were devastated and left the doctors office numb. However, exactly one month later i found out i am pregnant. I have a gender scan this week lol. Dont give up hope xx

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (29 May 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntMy G/F and I "give it our best".... and STILL - after three and a half years - no luck.... I can't give you much advice... Just keep climbing on her and doing your best......

P.S. We are 75 y.o.(her) and 65 y.o. (me).... but we don't think that should matter...

Good luck...

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 May 2015):

chigirl agony auntGetting pregnant is actually difficult. Yes, you read about accidental pregnancies all the time, but they are actually a lucky shot. Think about how many teenagers run around having unprotected sex, if becoming pregnant was easy there'd be nothing but teenage mom and dads.

They say you need to try for at least a year before a doctor will even make suggestions to alternatives. Because in general, it takes around a year to get it right.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2015):

Hi and thanks for the replies everyone. She knows her ovulation dates and it's around these higher fertility dates we conceived the first time. We don't have sex everyday but when we do its like 5-6 times a day (not a constructive thing to do anyway as since posting this I read somewhere that after about the 4th ejaculation in a day, guys release no/very little semen). I think I'll have a chat with her and suggest taking it easy or at least not make love with the intent of becoming pregnant, and see what happens. If it happens it happens. It's frustrating for both of us not to mention tiring, all this sex and no desired results. Thanks again.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (27 May 2015):

mystiquek agony auntI know this might sound crazy..but RELAX. Stop trying so hard!!! And the other lovely ladies are right, having sex every day really isn't going to help like you might think.

I have 2 lady friends, both of them were desperate to get pregnant, both of them were over 35 and wanted a baby so badly. They tried everything...went a year and still couldn't get pregnant. The doctors told them to just try and relax, be more natural about it and just let it flow..see what happened in a year. My first friend gave up and they started the adoption process, would you believe right as they were to get the baby she found out she was pregnant??? They were thrilled!

The second friend did slow down and relax, and a year later she was pregnant with twins. Both friends had happy health babies!

I don't mean to be rude but you are young and why is there such pressure?? 10 years from now yes, I could understand more..but don't stress each other out. She's already been pregnant once (sorry about the loss)..so obviously she can get pregnant.

Try and relax...it will happen. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI have to agree, why not WAIT till AFTER you have tied the knot and lived together as man a wife a little while before making new additions to the family?

25 is STILL young to have children. Live a little before having kids.

But back to pregnancies. Your fiancee could get an ovulation kit. It it YOUR best "bet" to procreate around ovulation, not EVERY day. Don't forget she doesn't produce EGGS daily. And that is one of the TWO key ingredients.

Having had one miscarriage also mean she GOT pregnant. So one pregnancy in 8 months is actually "not bad". It takes a LOT of couples around a year. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage. And I had one after my 3rd child as well.

What is the hurry?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2015):

Like SVC I'm old school, I don't understand why you've been trying to conceive a child out of wedlock when you're supposedly engaged to be married.

Why not plan your wedding first, THEN start planning for a child? If the two of you intend to make a lifetime commitment to a child then doesn't it make sense to make a lifetime commitment to each other first?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 May 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Always has been this way and always will be. the fact that we can determine to the millisecond when a woman conceives does not change that.

Just because you are producing large amounts of ejaculate does NOT mean your sperm is healthy. Sperm viability and ejaculate are two different things.

Personally I'm old school... why can't you wait till you are married to have a baby? What's the rush?

bTW having sex daily will decrease your chance of conceiving.

has she attempted to use an ovulation predictor?

or is she temperature charting?

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