A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Let me just give you some background. My friend and I have known each other since birth. Our parents and families are friends. We grew up together and went to the same school and are in a big friendship group together. He is well liked and respected within the group too. Recently, the majority of us went off to university but he didn't. He has remained at home and his first sort-of girlfriend (well outside of our friendship group) ended it with him as she went off to university after only being together for a month or so.He has only ever really talked to me about things and he says I am the only one that he can talk to, not even his parents. He recently pleaded with me to help him as he thinks he might be depressed, but he only mentioned this whilst drunk. I have constantly told him over many years that we are all willing to talk but he rarely talks about problems and if he does, only to me and not in a huge amount of detail and it is often only when he is drunk.I told him that he should seek help first from a doctor and reassured him that his parents, particularly as he is living at home, will be willing to help. I am quite worried about him. I am concerned whether he will actually talk about his problems with this girl, which I know little about, only snippets from him being drunk, to other people.It sounds selfish but I feel like I am dealing with a massive burden here, and if things became more serious and I didn't do anything about it, I don't know how I could live with that guilt. I am willing to give 110% to help him, but am wondering whether I should tell my parents or even reach out to his own if he isn't willing to? I think there is some lack of clarity with this girl and how it ended. Perhaps I strongly suggests that he talks to her? Thanks for reading!
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depressed, drunk, living at home, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 The best thing to do is help him find counseling.
He may be too depressed to know where to start or look.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (31 December 2012):
This is a very big load for you to carry.Sometimes when a person is drunk the truth comes out.He is very lucky to have such a good friend as you. Have a long chat with him and find out as much about his problem as you can .Be there for him and if that fails .ADVISE HIM TO SEE A COUNSELLOR.
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