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I'm starting to lose trust on my fiancée. She lived with a male roommate and when I visited her, her sofa smelt like sex!!

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2011) 11 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid I'm becoming not to trust my bride. Tobe. She had a male roommate for about a year he recently moved from her home. Just a few blocks away I live farther distance. I. Viset her

and her sofa smelled like sex.I got angrry and left after complaint of the scent on her sofa.her excuse is she spends more time at my place so she doesn't know what her roommate could have done on her sofa.I'm becoming not to trust her need your input?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2011):

OP u are NOT overeacting! How come u smelt the sex smell and she did not. She only claimed that she didnt know what her male room mate was up to. Perhaps He had sex either with her OR not with her?

What gets to me is that she did not deny the "sex smell"

Oh and Come on all DC people, we have all smelt sex in our day. my hb and I have to air our bedroom sometimes bec it reaked of sex. Yep it does happen and we know that "smell"

OP if u dont trust her, end it: this will save u endless sleepless nights.

LoveGirl

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 December 2011):

Honeypie agony auntSeriously?

I think you have some rather serious insecurity and trust issues you need to deal with asap.

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (6 December 2011):

shrodingerscat agony auntI think you would not appreciate her behavior if she was treating you the way you were treating her. Have you ever heard of the golden rule?! You're nearly 30 and acting like a jealous, possessive, controlling teenager...really, you should be ashamed of yourself right now. Instead of jumping to conclusions, you should act in the way you would want HER to act were the situations reversed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011):

is it normal to have opposite sex roommates now? it wasn't like that in the days of my generation.How nice. it must be very exciting. To tell you the truth,to me if two of opposite sex are sharing a room day in a day out then sex can't be far.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (6 December 2011):

chigirl agony auntYou need a lot of more precise evidence if you want to accuse anyone of cheating. My guess is that her room-mates sits naked on the couch and masturbates when she's not home, hence the smell.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011):

What is the one of the most important things to remember in a relationship? TRUST!!!!

You should NOT jump to conclusions at the first moment. Just trust her and if you are going to accuse her of something this big, keep in mind putting your engagement on the line, then atleast have some evidence that she has been unfaithful.

Otherwise trust her and dont make false accusasions on people!!

Best of Luck :)

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (6 December 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThan k goodness that her sofa didn't smell like "Hai Karate" aftershave. If it did, you could be SURE that she was doing nik-nik with some other guy on it. As it is... you're whistling in the wind.... AND, it sounds like you're successfully sabotaging whatever relationship you and she had planned to have.....

Good luck....

P.S. My house smells like peirogis. What do you suppose that means?????

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (6 December 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHer sofa smells of SEX? you're kidding me right? Why would she have sex on her sofa if she has two perfectly good beds in an apartment?

I think you are looking for a reason to end this relationship... why do you WANT to find a reason to end it?

If you don’t trust her based on how her SOFA SMELLS, maybe she’s not the right girl for you?

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (6 December 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I think you are being a little unfair on your girlfriend accusing her, stressing her out, giving her pain for no reason. "couch smells like sex"...

Pls, stop... Give her a chance... Do not accuse her, make her feel bad, and sad until you have real proof..

Good luck

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (6 December 2011):

k_c100 agony auntYou are making an issue over nothing. Chances are your fiancee is telling the truth, her roomate could have had sex with another girl on the sofa while your fiancee was out, that is more likely to have happened than your fiancee cheating on you.

This is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with - trust her.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011):

Based on what you have in your post, I think you may be over-reacting a little bit.

She could be telling you the truth. I had a male flat-mate and lived with him for over a year. At times when I was not at home, he would have sex with whoever he could find, anywhere in the house that he wanted to, despite my requests that he kept that activity to his bedroom.

If you have no other reason to doubt your fiancee, then I would believe her. She can't control what her flat-mate does when she isn't there, she can only request that he respects her requests.

If you can't find a way to trust her, then the relationship won't last. Good Luck.

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