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I'm crushing on my professor who I've heard sleeps with students

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2016) 8 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2016)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I am a second year student at a university and am 18 years old. I took a class last year with a professor and I think he might like me, I just don't know if he wants me. He tells me I look nice, and compliments me a lot. He also hugs me and tells me I am his favorite student. He bumped my grade up to an A when I was at a B because I got an A on the final. We talk a lot, even about things not related to the class. He is like 48 years old but is very attractive. We also text and once he sent me a selfie. I like him and sometimes think I have a crush on him but I don't know what he thinks. Do you think he likes me? What should I do? I did hear he sleeps with students but I don't think he would bring that up with me unless if I suggested it first.

View related questions: crush, text, university

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016):

1. What do you think of guys your age who hit on 15yo high school girls?

That is what this professor's peers think of him.

2. What do you think of the 15yo girls who screw those guys your age?

That is what this professor's peers will think of you.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (8 January 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou already have got lots of great advice, please listen to it. When you are older you will see how wrong this really is. Yes am sure at the minute you are flattered at the attention he is showing you, that's because he knows exactly what a girl your age wants to hear, and he is feeding your ego and confidence. Yes he makes you feel good about yourself. He is grooming you for sex. He is playing with your emotions, you will look back on this when you are older and see this for yourself. Don't be like the other girls who fell for his trap, tell someone in your university or someone at home who you are close to.

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (8 January 2016):

How old are you?

In another six months you'll be too old for his tastes and he'll be off to take advantage of the next flavor of the month.

Ugh. This guy is a morally bankrupt POS. Why would you want someone like this?

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2016):

Denizen agony auntI am concerned about you. You are an adult. You know the difference between right and wrong. Other Aunts have criticised the teacher, but it is you I worry about. You are the one who is already, in her imagination, climbing into bed with him. He hasn't asked you. The tales about other students are just hearsay. You need to get your head on straight and stop putting temptation in his way. Stick to your studies and friends your own age.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2016):

You are not allowed to date your teacher! Whether you are in high school, college or any where else of higher learning. It is against the law or at least against all college policies. You would risk him losing his job and risk you being kicked off your course. I would suggest if you are truly interested in him then contact him AFTER you graduate. And ever thought that maybe he has a reputation because he is friendly rather than actually sleeps around with students.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2016):

I agree with fellow contributors here. This is ridiculous: he’s behaving in a totally unprofessional manner. Bumping up your grade is especially disgraceful, in the hope that you’ll like him more. His attitude to his profession is contemptable and, if he sleeps around with other students, his attitude to young women is equally contemptable. I think he wants sex. Does he like you? Maybe he’ll like you for the night, but I expect that, like the students before him, he’ll be looking for another notch on his bedpost when he’s finished with you. Surely you want more for yourself than that?

I’d keep my distance, stop interaction outside of classes and keep discussions focussed on work. If it continues, make it clear that you want it to stop and you’re prepared to report him.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Auntie Bim

He is a dirty old man taking FULL advantage of his position as a teacher to not on "score" with young students, but to make them think it's OK or that he even care.

When I was in college we had a couple of "younger" teachers early-mid-30's who slept with students. Since the students were over 18 there was less fuss about it, however there WAS a lot of resentment towards the girl who DID get better grades because they spread their legs for a better grade.

And I agree that MAYBE you should talk to a counselor about this, if you have doubts... even better talk to your mom or dad. Someone who TRULY LOVES you.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (8 January 2016):

Aunty BimBim agony auntWhat happened to all these other students he sleeps with, do they all get bumped up to A's as well? Do you think that is ethical or do you think sleeping with some older man who spreads his lurvv amongst the nubile young students in his care is worth a few good marks?

Do YOU think he "likes" you, do you think he "likes" all the other students he sleeps with?

It sounds to me he is grooming you for sex ... maybe those other students were also victims of his grooming.

Does he like you? I don't think so, I suggest you run hot foot to a student counsellor or talk to a trusted adult for their opinion, a favourite aunt or older cousin if you feel this is not something you can discuss with a parent.

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