A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi hopefully someone can offer me advice on an issue that is playing on my mind, I'm a 27 years old and male. So down to the problem, I am starting to become infatuated with my mum's boyfriend's niece. I never really noticed her before but she has turned 16 and looks more 'mature' in the face than the last time I saw her. I feel so guilty and it gets worse when I have to attend social functions with the family, I can't keep making excuses but don't know what else to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 August 2016):
 She just turned sixteen... and you are 27 ? Urgh.
Yes, I know , in UK the age of sexual consent is 16 ,- whatever. The " eeeewww " factor is very high. I don't think this girl's dad, or his uncle ( your mom 's bf ) would feel very positive about it.
What do you mean " what do I have to do " ? You now what you have to do, i.e. nothing. Or, to say it better, the usual thing you do whenever you have an inappropriate crush for someone who is off limits : a married lady. Your female boss. You best friend's gf. A nun ! Anybody about whom your dick says yes and your brain says no .
You just stiff upper lip , use self control and tough it out, knowing that in time it will pass.
If you can avoid family reunions, easier for you- if you can't , - bad luck, just keep your hormons in check and you'll be fine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2016): If you're making excuses not to come be around her? You're avoiding her bc your afraid its going to be obvious? Well, its good that you don't want to act on it.
I guess treat it same way you would your own same age cousin: you don't have much in common w her so be polite but that's it. Hang w adult relatives and let them do the talking to her outside,"hello, congrats on the soccer award, good luck on your public speaking assignment. "
Keep busy by seeing if you can help w refreshments, check out her brother's baseball card collection and ask uncle Larry about his health. Otherwise, you probably won't see her anyway
The crush will fade.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (22 August 2016):
 Do nothing, thats my advice. I have to agree, 10 years is nothing these days but this is about being age appropriate when she is not yet even an adult. You are in a very powerful position as it can be very alluring for a young girl to be fooled into thinking she is a big girl and able to handle all that is a "mature" relationship. I think in the long run that can lead to her having problems forming relations with boys or young men her own age. Kind of sets a benchmark them that they cannot possibly live up to as they too have not had the experiences in life that you have already. Your really need to and should be the adult here and look at the bigger picture that is to be fair. You are responsible for laying this to rest and control any urges you may have. As a mum, there is no way NOOOOOOOOO way this would be ok.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (22 August 2016):
 A 16 year old is off limits. No matter how mature she looks, the fact is that she isn't. Maybe 10 years from now when she's 26 and you're 37... But certainly not now. Mingle with people your own age and stop fantasizing about this young, underage girl
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): Let it go. Plenty of other women out there.
Legal age she might now be, she's just a bit too close to family and it will just cause everyone issues in the long run.
Plus, she has studies and some more growing up to do without distractions.
At any rate, if you two do decide to get intimate or whatever with each other, there really isn't a lot anyone can do to stop you. 16 is legally old enough to decide about those matters, but that also means old enough to deal with any consequences.
You just need to ask yourself, trully, is it worth the bullshit that is inevitably going to happen when your mum and her man find out?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 August 2016):
 You do what ever adult has to do when someone is unavailable or, in this case, inappropriate - you let go and remind yourself of why it's not okay. Think of her as a child and your feelings will fade.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2016): Grow up and snap out of it. You're 27 and she's a kid. She might look mature, but she isn't and doesn't have the life experience of women closer to your own age. Get a grip and act like the adult here, you find her attractive but she's too young and too closely linked by family - it's a line you shouldn't cross regardless of age.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 August 2016):
 Looking "mature" in the face doesn't MAKE her mature.
SHE is a kid, YOU are an adult. So act like the grown up here and knock it off.
A crush is just that a crush, an infatuation nothing more.
Go out with friends and meet people your OWN age instead of having crushing on barely legal teens.
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