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He's taken my wife. Should I be worried?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2017) 10 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2017)
A male Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

my wife an I have been married for 3 years. however things have been interesting for last 18 months. we have a neighbour Raymond who is divorced for a long time and is 44. he has two girls about 8 and 12. me and my wife are both 28. however 18 months ago things got interesting as we did some swinging with Raymond and his then gf. however I noticed my wife had a liking to him so I assured her if she was to have an affair I would be ok. however since then ray is no longer with gf and has been regularly having sex with my wife. in fact things got so heated that we agreed that my wife would be allowed to sleep over at his house over the weekend. so she would go with him on Friday night and comeback Sunday evening. ray told me on another conversation that my wife was building something very strong and was in love with him. I was surprised but wife confirmed.and said she loved us both. however she has been taking a bigger role in rays family I.e helping out with kids and going on vacations. ray has told me that while he won't push me away from my wife he intends to have a go for and eventually take her from me. my wife seems to really enjoy being with him. just recently she has talked about buying a apartment with ray at a holiday area. is this something I should be overly concerned about.

View related questions: affair, divorce, neighbour, swinging

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (22 November 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntOnly two things to say on this:

#1. If (and that is a BIG IF) this situation is actually true, God help those poor children.

#2. Please don't ever get married again. You make a mockery of marriage.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (22 November 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt I believe too this is a fantasy , anyway if I should take it as a real question I'd say : no, you don't have to be overly concerned. Your wife told you that she loves both you and Ray, and apparently she really digs the bigamous lifestyle, so, if it's up to her , things will stay the same.

Nevertheless, I strongly support anon male's suggestion : as of now, you are not swinging ! You are just left high and dry while Ray is shagging your wife. Not fair ! Tell Raymond to provide someone for you : either he convinces some female relative, some close friends of his, to have sex with you, or else he sends you an escort paid by him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2017):

I dont buy your story...Its a cuckold fantasy...you suffer from very low self esteem...

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (22 November 2017):

femmenoir agony auntI think you're "taking the Micky" out of all of us.

Your story sounds pretty "weird" to say the least.

If you are legit, surely you know the truth?!

Your wife's made her decision hasn't she?

The worst and saddest part.

You guys don't seem to understand the "true meaning" of the word "marriage".

Why get married and make such a mockery of a beautiful, precious and sacred union between two people?

If every married couple in the world, conducted their marriage, as you and your wife do, OMG, i don't know what type of world we'd all be living in.

Some "kinky" things within marriage are ok and acceptable, for the most part, but THIS................. seriously.

I'm sorry, but i think you both need some deep seated counselling to find out the "root cause" of these behaviours that you both possess.

Has your wife, even given one moment of thought to Ray's children?

What type of example are you and your wife setting and do you honestly think that Ray's children won't be affected by the "open" relationship your wife shares with their dad?

I'm sure they "see" and they "feel".

Perhaps, if you and your wife are so "hung up" on swinging and conducting your marriage as you've been, then you should both join a POLYGAMIST CULT.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017):

hi guys thanks for the feedback. I will keep you guys updated

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (21 November 2017):

Assuming this letter is true you already gave your wife to him. Let them be together then you can go be with whatever woman you like. Marriage means nothing to you anyway so what is the difference if he “steals” her.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 November 2017):

Honeypie agony auntIF this is the truth then WTF is wrong with you? And your view of marriage? And what is wrong with "Ray" and your wife?

You need to decide WHAT you want. Do you want to be this guy who lets the neighbor screw your wife and then later just acquire her like someone would a new pair of shoes.

OP, she doesn't LOVE you if she thinks this has no consequences for YOU, her and especially for the kids. HOW in the WORLD do ANY of you explain this to the kids? Oh, daddy is just "ducking" the neighbor's wife and now she is part of the family?

Then why get married in the first place if you put SO little respect into the marriage?

This is NOT swinging. This is HER having a husband and an "official" lover. Her cake and eat it. Now IF you are as OK with it as you "claim" in the beginning... WHY write the post at all? All is fun and games, right?

Your marriage is over, OP. Done.

Your wife has picked the "man" (Ray) over the "boy" (you).

He didn't STEAL her... YOU "gave" her to him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017):

He hasn't taken your wife from you. You gave her to him, and she went willingly.

Karma for not cherishing the sanctity, commitment, and exclusivity of the institution of marriage, and setting an example for kids.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2017):

Why don't you ask Raymond to be a decent guy and hire an escort for you for the weekends while he is taking your wife away from you? I would say the present setup is quite unfair to you.??

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2017):

N91 agony auntThis has to be a troll surely.

If not, then the guy has very clearly stated that he intends to steal your wife from you. If you're worried about that, then yes, I would say you should be concerned.

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