A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, really need some advice, my husband had been acting strangely, distant, etc etc and I suspected he was seeing someone else. I constantly confronted him and he denied everything. After one of these episodes he packed his suitcase and left, only to return the next day, we declared our love for each other and I was 100% committed to making everything work out (still no admission of an affair/attraction to someone else). One month later we had a silly row about something and he said he was leaving, packed a case and left. I have spoken to him and he has moved in with a woman but says he is in the spare room and he can't have a relationship with her until he knows that he can move on from me. It has only been a week and he texts me daily and says he loves me and is in turmoil over what to do. We do have bad financial worries and sometimes I feel like he is just trying to escape all the problems. We have communicated 100% and he has told me everything. He started confiding in this woman he works with and then they started chatting on the phone, texting, he says she is a wonderful woman and he would start a relationship if he knew we were absoultely finished. I have told him how I feel, that he is my soulmate and I will do everything I can to save our relationship, but what do I do now, I could live with this if he wasn't staying with her but he is, how can he know what he wants if she is trying to entice him away and how long should I wait for him to come to a decision. It has only been a week but it seems like months have gone by, he constantly cries when he talks to me and I am at a loss as what to do. He says he can't make a decision and is scared of making the wrong one, but where does that leave me. By the way we have been married for 19 years and have two teenage children and I am absolutely devastated. Any advice anyone?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are right, today I confronted and told him I couldn't just be a doormat and wait for him to come to a decision. He told me angrily that it was over and that was that. I have cried my heart out but will move on and despite being together so long and loving him so much, he has made this decision and its his problem not mine. He has left me for and moved in with a woman he hardly knows and left me and his children to face homelessness because of our financial situation and nothing can excuse him for that. I am going to be strong and me and the boys together will make a new life and a new start even if we face a very rough ride for the next foreseable future. I am going to remain positive as possible, I know that at some point he will very much regret what he has done, I know him very well, where as she has known him for two months!!!!
A
female
reader, gloriawk55  +, writes (12 August 2007):
 Simple. Tell him he has 2 choices. Break this little woman's heart, who barely even knows him, or break your heart, his kids hearts, and be the least liked father/.husband in america. Ask him, if he loved you so much, that why won't he lives with you? Is he afraid that he is going to hurt her? I have a feeling that this will tell him what to do. He will either make things right or make things worse. Ask if he has been cheating on you with this woman. And how do you know that he is not lying to you, and that he IS in a relationship with this woman? You are trusting texts and phone calls? I don't mean to be harsh, but I can say my house is on fire and make everyone believe me, and everything can be in reality just delightful.
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