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... Send *etilicious a private message | | | *etilicious's profile:What "qualifies" me to help people? Nothing really, I haven't gone to school for therapy and I'm no Dr. Phil. However, I do know what's wrong and what's right, so I think my advice is pretty freaking awesome. Kind of like grape snow cones and giraffes.
I live in what most people of America would call hell. Ohio. I find it awesome, I don't need a palm tree and anal douchebags who tan their man boobs on the beach all day.
I don't know, reading other people's problems and giving them some sort of advice makes me feel good in a way, perhaps this will be a hobby that replaces my deep love of crack cocaine.
Also, I'm sarcastic. Some people like it, others hate it. Overall I'm a lot like a monkey. Slightly mean and sneaky, but once you get past the poop throwing I'm fucking adorable. |
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Girl has the attention of both of us and we're best friends
Q. Hi everyone, I'm currently a student and I'm stuck in a really delicate situation, I like a girl that a good friend has liked for a while but he can't get it rite.... I have had a thing for her for the past few years, but there has never been a...
A. 17 April 2011: Well that's good news. How was the wedding?... (read in full...)
Do you think not talking to him will change his mind about how he's acting and he'l come chasing after me?
Q. Lately, me and my now ex boyfriend have been haveing relationship problems... we have had a rough year, from cheating, lying, breaking up, losing babies... and it seems right when we get to the point where our relationship is healing... he breaks up ...
A. 6 April 2011: Well, I hope everything works out for you. Don't worry, if he's not the one, then there is a man even more perfect for you out there somewhere, just waiting for you. Everything happens for a reason.... (read in full...)
Girl I'm dating hasn't contacted me since Friday at noon?
Q. So I've been dating this girl for a month and everything has gone really well. Nothing i can think of could turn our relationship bad. Shes always laughing and smiling when shes around me. We normally have lunch dates together, and then we go to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well if that's the case, I'd give it a couple days. If she hasn't contacted you by Wednesday you should visit her in person, maybe find her at school or visit her home, and tell her you've been worried about her. Bring her chocolate, that makes ... (read in full...)
He still wants to see me after breaking up and calling me by the wrong name??
Q. Hello all I was in a relationship with a guy for about 8 months. We met off a dating site. He seemed to be an exhibitionist which I gathered quickly early on. Still I thought well let's give it a go because he was a nice guy to me. We dated...
A. 5 April 2011: NO, definitely not overreacting. You gave this guy another chance and he blew it. Game over. There are so many awesome guys out there who are going to want YOU and not get your name wrong, or take time out of your convos to jack off to some other ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is in jail for violating probation, I'm doing all I can to help, but apparently I'm the "heartless evil bit*h". Why is he doing this to me??
Q. My boyfriend was sentenced to jail for 30 days for violating probation. His urine came up diluted, which means there was low levels of the natural substances in pee, indicating he added water to his pee sample. however, he swears he did nothing to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well I agree, I don't feel sympathy for the majority of people in jail because they are there for a reason. Honestly, I think your boyfriend is slightly being a douchebag, because you are going out of your way to help him...I wonder if he's thanked ... (read in full...)
Which ex should I choose now that they both want me back? The hot and sweet one who lives far away or the funny one who lives close by but is a big flirt?
Q. I can't choose between these two guys. I used to date both of them at seperate times of course and now they both want me back. One is way hot and sweet and I know he loves me but he lives far away so I barely get to see him. Also he's broken u...
A. 5 April 2011: Well you are going to have to lose one of them, otherwise it's just stringing them along. From what you told me, I'd go for the hot sweet one who lives far away. He seems more loyal, I think a guy who flirts with girls WHILE you're dating is a huge ... (read in full...)
What are your views on Cuddle Buddies? (Kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out, no sex, no emotional feelings). Does it work?
Q. I want to know what your views are on cuddle buddies. Cuddle buddy is similar with friends with benefits but without the sex. Cuddle buddies do kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out and many more. However, the feeling of love is just a detachment. Th...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, honestly I've never had a "cuddle buddy" because I don't see the point. Why would you want to cuddle someone who you don't have feelings for or any attachment to? The reason I want to cuddle in the first place is because I like the guy a lot ... (read in full...)
Do you think not talking to him will change his mind about how he's acting and he'l come chasing after me?
Q. Lately, me and my now ex boyfriend have been haveing relationship problems... we have had a rough year, from cheating, lying, breaking up, losing babies... and it seems right when we get to the point where our relationship is healing... he breaks up ...
A. 5 April 2011: I can relate. At least on the issue of getting so worked up to the point that I end up sending the guy 20 texts in a row even after he said he was turning his phone off. Afterwards I'm like "oh, crap WHY did I do that?!?". I think it was wrong of ... (read in full...)
Husband cant satisfy me because of premature ejaculation.... perhaps I need to have my physical needs met elsewhere?
Q. I love my husband very much. We did not have a lot of sex before we married, so it wasn't until after our wedding that I confirmed that he has premature ejaculation. This has effected every single time we have had sex for the past two years, without ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, I think if you really love this guy, then I think cheating on him would probably be the worst decision you could ever make, and one you will regret forever. If he gets off early, just get him to go down on you until you get there also, include ... (read in full...)
Should I end the relationship, it's too much for me??
Q. I am not sure shall I send a goodbye letter to a girl who I love. During the past two years, both of us had experienced a lot of things. We started from nothing to friends and then to closest friend. Later, she invited me to her home to have dinner ...
A. 5 April 2011: Talk to her, tell her that you love her and want to be with her. If she wants to remain just friends then it is time for you to move on. Date other women until you find one who is perfect for you and can love you as much as you love her.... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend and treats me like his mistress
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old, and i haven't been in a relationship before, which means i haven't lost my first kiss either. I would say that i do not fall in love easily either. Last year, I met this guy, J in my college and I fell for him. I managed to ...
A. 5 April 2011: I agree with the posters below, He has a girlfriend, you need to do the right thing and walk away from that until he in fact breaks up with her. Just date around, sooner or later you will find an amazing guy who is interested, single, and can't get ... (read in full...)
Do you think we have to worry about this issue??
Q. hi all, its been allong time since i wrote on here but i am extreemly worried. also please excuse my english as i am dislexic... basicly last night me and my gf had sex we used as a condom as we ALWAYS do and all went well but after i took it...
A. 5 April 2011: Morning after pill just to be safe? Otherwise there's no reason to worry until you get a pregnancy test and find out for sure. ... (read in full...)
Is it true that once a friendship has been damaged its hard to make it right again?
Q. Okay, I am inlove with a guy who likes my bestfriend and my bestfriend likes him too. Like any love story, I decided to let go of him (for them to be happy) and retain the friendship I had with my bestfriend. But why is it, my bestfriend and I ...
A. 5 April 2011: I would just apologize, say you hate fighting with her because she is your BFF, and say you don't want to argue anymore. Work on getting over this guy, that's probably the best thing you can do for this relationship. In the meantime, I wouldn't hang ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sleeps at his ex's house when he goes to visit his son!
Q. my boyfriend still stays the night at his ex wifes house when he goes to visit his son. i have been told by a nother girl that he still has sex with his ex wife when he goes to visit, and that they dont sleep separately. of course i asked him and he ...
A. 5 April 2011: Him sleeping at his Ex's house is unaccaptable. If you believe he still loves her...why would you want to be with him anyway? Don't you want someone who can give you ALL of his love, not just part of it? I would tell him that he needs to make a ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is extremely insecure and controlling
Q. My girlfriend is extremely insecure and controlling. To her credit, she was absolutely honest with me up front about her "tendencies" but said during her 7 months of being single prior to dating me, she had softened up a bit. (Her ex-boyfriend of 2 ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well. In all honestly, I think we all have a few insecurity issues in one way or the other. I think if you really care about someone you're always going to worry a little bit that one day they might meet someone else and leave you. However, it is ... (read in full...)
Girl has the attention of both of us and we're best friends
Q. Hi everyone, I'm currently a student and I'm stuck in a really delicate situation, I like a girl that a good friend has liked for a while but he can't get it rite.... I have had a thing for her for the past few years, but there has never been a...
A. 5 April 2011: I would first talk to your friend about it. Tell him that you've liked her for a couple of years, tell him you really think you can have something amazing with this girl, and tell him that your cousin asked her to come to his wedding as your date. ... (read in full...)
I have injuries from the war and now no one wants to date me
Q. Here's the deal i got back from Iraq almost 1 year ago from a explosion in which took my leg off, and left me with bullet holes in my back. I had my leg put back on, but now there is a 10 inch scar going down the right side by my knee and wraps ...
A. 5 April 2011: None of the good women who are worth your time think like that. Trust me. Your scars show people what you've been through, they are a part of who you are. If a guy I loved lost his face in a car accident, I would still love him. You should think of ... (read in full...)
Girl I'm dating hasn't contacted me since Friday at noon?
Q. So I've been dating this girl for a month and everything has gone really well. Nothing i can think of could turn our relationship bad. Shes always laughing and smiling when shes around me. We normally have lunch dates together, and then we go to ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well, I think it's very wierd. I guess everyone is different, but if it were me and I really like a guy I wouldn't ever ignore his texts or phone calls. Once I had the flu and was pretty much puking my brains out, and I still feel up to responding ... (read in full...)
What is he doing on this network site?
Q. I have just found out that my bf has being chatting a girl up on a social network site? He adds random girls every night all between the ages of 16-19 and they are tarty. He doesnt know any of them. He has added over 100 since january. Last night he ...
A. 26 March 2011: Yeah, you should be worried. You're in a relationship, why is he spending time talking to other girls on a social networking site? He should be spending time with you. I wouldn't be able to trust someone like that, I would end it now before you have ... (read in full...)
I have a feeling he is dating another girl and has no time for me
Q. dear cupid, i have a guy that i am currently dating. the guy is a marine officer and travels a lot, but the problem is that he doesn't call me always and we don't see always. the only time we see might be after two months or more and he doesn't call ...
A. 26 March 2011: He hasn't talked to you for 3 months? End it. If you "Love" someone, you always have time for them no matter what. And I know if he loved you he would have found time in 3 months to pick up a phone and give you a call. Find someone who will love... (read in full...)
Am I asking too many specific questions about her sexual past?
Q. My girlfriend and I are very much in love and very open in talking about our sexual past, although I tend to ask a lot of questions and she does not. I know she feels a bit uncomfortable talking about detail, so I don't ask too many questions, but ...
A. 26 March 2011: You love her and you want to know all of that? I've always believed that the past is the past for a reason, and it should stay that way...IN the past. I would never want to know these details about someone I loved, EVER...I'd be turned off and ... (read in full...)
How do I make my cousin realize my deep feelings for him?
Q. Hi! My matter is verrry complicated! Please give me a solution! How can I win his heart? How can I make him talk to me ? Be mine? I don't know whether it's love or not, whatever it is, I like my cousin a lot. He does not live in the same country ...
A. 26 March 2011: He is your cousin? As in related to or "step-cousin". If you're in fact related to him, I'm sorry to break it to you but this is considered incest. He most likely didn't reply because he doesn't feel the same way. People usually don't WANT to be... (read in full...)
I have destroyed my own marriage, my life is a mess...all for my lover who refuses to leave her husband. How do I get her to come to me?
Q. All, I have been reading this post for about 6 months now and can see that what I have been involved with is Wrong! However, I found my soulmate in a younger woman and If circumstances were right she would be my wife. Nearly 2 years ago, I met...
A. 26 March 2011: So let me get this straight. You're asking how you can destroy someone else's marriage after you have destroyed your own? All I have to say is WOW. Stop being so selfish and think about other people for once. I hope your "soulmate" stays with her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex won't go away!
Q. So, this is a simple question with complicated details. My current boyfriend, "Jake", and I have been together for just over a year. We have known each other for almost 13 years and have been on and off since we were 15 years old. When I turned 18 I ...
A. 25 March 2011: Sounds like a serial killer in the making! I would probably contact the police with her threatening emails and get a restraining order. When the cops call her and tell her she can't go within 50 feet of you or your bf, hopefully she will get the ... (read in full...)
Still getting over a bad break-up and afraid to hurt the new guy
Q. Okay, I am/was in love with this guys for about a year and a half, but he hurt me. For the the past 7 months I've tried to get over him. So anyway, last week i started gettin butterflies for this new guy. We've been friends for a long time and has ...
A. 25 March 2011: Just let him know that it's way too soon for you to LOVE him, especially after a break up, and you're not sure if you like him in the way he likes you yet, but you are willing to give it a try. If he agrees that you can be friends if it doesnt work ... (read in full...)
Should I just maintain a friendship with my former instructor and see if my feelings fade?
Q. Dear Cupid or people on the web, I still like my former instructor. I still talk to him and I am planning to go visit him during his office hours, but I haven't gone to his office hours for about four weeks because I've been busy and didn't want ...
A. 25 March 2011: I would just maintain a relationship, maybe flirt a bit with him every once in awhile and see if he flirts back. 14 years is a large age difference, don't you want someone who is around your age who you would have more in common with?... (read in full...)
How long should I wait to ask her out?
Q. How long should I wait to ask this girl out? So I really like this girl that see at least few times a week and she just broke up with her previous boyfriend. The same night she broke up with him we talked on Facebook for an hour and a half( not abou...
A. 25 March 2011: How long was she going out with her boyfriend? do you know why they broke up? I wouldn't ask her out just yet, just hang out as friends. Maybe she is just trying to forget her ex. Maybe ask her to go with you and some of your other friends to... (read in full...)
I'm mature for my age, but don't know if this teacher has feelings for me? He gets overprotective and jealous when I get close to other guys....
Q. I know you’re all going to think I’m being childish here, but please hear me out. I’m 18, and very mature for my age. Last year, I met my college lecturer, and we hit it off straight away. There was one point though where I got close to this boy and ...
A. 25 March 2011: How old is this guy? Is he married? In America, having a relationship like that with a student would definitely get you fired, i'm not sure about over there. but to me it sounds like he's attracted, however I'm not sure if it's just in a lust... (read in full...)
I know I did wrong. But how can I help improve the situation with her? And be forgiven?
Q. My wife and i recently had a bad fight. all the info about it is in a question i posted previously. I completely broke her trust. she is still with me, but not really. we haven't been intimate in over a month. she hates coming to bed unless i'm alre...
A. 25 March 2011: Well, I can't find your previous questions because I'm new to this site and have no idea how to. However, I'm assuming you probably cheated somewhere along the way? If that's so, well, honestly I have no acceptance for cheaters. It still baffles... (read in full...)
My problem is his pregnant partner. Is there a chance he will just love me and leave me?
Q. Am girl who is 21 years of age,there is this guy I just met and I love him and I do want to have sex with him, but my problem is his pregnant partner. What if he loves her more than he loves me? What if he just want to have sexual relations with me ...
A. 25 March 2011: Wow, that is a lot of baggage to be getting into. If this goes anywhere, are you willing to be a step-mom type? How many months pregnant is this lady? Honestly, you just met him...you don't LOVE him. You might think you do but you don't. I would g... (read in full...)
My crush found out I like him, and now I'm worried he might hurt me.
Q. Is it normal to feel depress when your crush found out you like him? I mean he said he was sorry for trying to get me to hook him up with my friends. I should be happy because he hasn't let our friendship be awkward at all. But i can honestly say i ...
A. 25 March 2011: So, he knows that you like him and he didn't ask you out? If so, it means he's not interested. Never let this guy know if you're jealous seeing him with other chicks. I would find someone who IS interested, and nice, funny, etc...and go out... (read in full...)
Two months ago he got a promotion at work, and suddenly I wasn't as interesting, and got dumped! What happened here?!
Q. My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for a year. We're both 21 years old, and it was the first serious relationship for us both. We had an amazing relationship, to the point where we did start to talk about a future together. Moving in, ...
A. 25 March 2011: He never really loved you if things changed in the matter of 2 weeks. Did you ever ask him why he wasn't happy? I don't want to assume or put questions in your head, but in my experience, if things are going perfectly and you did absolutely nothi... (read in full...)
In his 40's yet playing games like he's a teenager! Do I walk away?
Q. Am i just paraniod? Im at my wits end about this and its destroying me inside. I am a mother of 3, 2 of which i have with my current partner, the only problem is his ex. We used to live together but i suppected he still has feelings for her. They ...
A. 25 March 2011: Well, you definitely need to confront him if you ever want to be happy. Tell him that you know he messages his ex a lot on facebook, that you're not comfortable with it, and that he needs to make a decision. Either he wants you in his life or he ... (read in full...)
Do you fantasize about other girls or your girlfriend?
Q. This is a question for the males. For those of you with girlfriends/fiances/wives/partners etc do you always think of them when you think of sex and your fantasies? So when your maybe daydreaming or watever it is that gets you thinking, who a...
A. 25 March 2011: I'm not a guy, but i know that if he loves you he's not going to be thinking that...he's going to be thinking about YOU or the next time he gets to see you. ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of all her exes!
Q. Hi, I'm in a relationship with a woman I absolutely adore, we're both 22, the problem is I know she's had quite a few boyfriends and I myself haven't really had a huge dating history (but not non exsistant). Basically I definitely don't feel good ...
A. 25 March 2011: Well, if you haven't you should tell her you don't feel comfortable with her being around an Ex and hanging with him. If she really cares about you she's going to respect your feelings and listen to you. If a guy I cared about was really important ... (read in full...)
I want to get over my ex!
Q. It's been a year since we broke up, me and my ex dated for 2 years. After a week i heard he was flirting with my enemy then after 2 weeks he had a new girlfriend. After the girl next to me, he was playing with girls but he would always tell me he ...
A. 25 March 2011: Wow, what an asshole!! This guy is such a douchebag, he obviously never cared about you in the first place if he actually told you "thanks for loving me even though I don't love you", especially if he's braggina about it to his friends. Never talk... (read in full...)
What do I say to my daughter who wants birth control?
Q. My 16 year old daughter came up to me last night while I was making dinner and asked for birth control. At first I didn't say anything I was in total shock. Let me give you some back story. She's a good kid. She's no straight A student and she'...
A. 25 March 2011: Well honestly. I'm not a mom and have never been in this situation. But what I would want my mom to tell me is...You're young and a virgin. You can only lose that once!!! Tell her you want to save it for someone she is in love with, otherwise she ... (read in full...)
How will I know he is cheating on me?
Q. I met this guy online.. we chatted for a year now..and we are in a long distance relationship..we haven't met e yet..but he has plan to see me soon..but then we broke up.. because i think he is cheating on me.. i am wondering why he is invisible ...
A. 25 March 2011: I would say STAY broken up, and don't contact him AT ALL, no matter what. If he really wanted to be with you he would have tried to stop you. You'll know if he feels anything at all for you if he contacts YOU. Wait for his message first, and only ... (read in full...)
I want to surprise my boyfriend for birthday!
Q. My spring break is the week of my boyfriend's birthday and he has no idea I am coming to see him for his birthday. I told him my break is the week after, What is a good way to surprise him when I get there?...
A. 25 March 2011: If you have a key to his place and he is comfortable with you being there without him, I'd sneak in before he got there and get naked except for one of his tshirts and greet him at the door! Don't forget to give him a BJ, and bang him like you have... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to my girlfriend sexually. Should I tell her this? Do I tell her the truth?
Q. I'm in love with my girlfriend but i'm not sexually attracted to her? What happens is that i loose interest half way through sex, but i didn't want her to know the real reason and made out that's because i'm unfit, smoking and drinking too much. ...
A. 25 March 2011: Wow. Man up and let them go. All of these women deserve someone who is going to love AND find them attractive. Let go of your guilt and selfishness and just end it now. On a side note, I just don't see how you can truly be in love with someon... (read in full...)
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