After how many dates is it ok to have sex?
Q. So I met this guy (We'll call him Mike) in September. It took us a while to finally get together, but in January we went on our first date. In February, Mike and I went on two dates (the second of which, we kissed for the first time and ultimately ...
A. 17 March 2010: There are no set rules for this.
Sex should happen naturally, when you both feel it's right. If the 5th date feels right, then do it.
But don't make the date JUST to have sex. See how it goes at the end of the date. And don't talk about it to... (read in full...)
Loose? Or control issues?
Q. Ok...I have visited this site on several occassions with the same dilemma...my boyfriend complains about sex with me. He says that my vagina and anus are loose and I do not feel the same way I did when he met me one year ago. The anus I can ...
A. 17 March 2010: First of all, your boyfriend doesn't know many things about the human anatomy, and what he's claiming is bullshit. Although, on the anal sex thing, if you have anal sex often then it *can* actually loosen it. That is one of the reasons why you're ... (read in full...)
Should cunnilingus be reserved for relationships only, or something you do with any sexual partner?
Q. My boyfriend has told me that he likes going down on a woman. And in the past has gone on all women he has been with even one noght stands! This disgusts me. I don't really like a being gone down on and any way what my boyfriend has told me turns...
A. 16 March 2010: There aren't any specific rules for one night stands.
I personally feel you shouldn't hold this against your boyfriend. It seems largely unnecessary. The past is the past. And you said you don't even like him going down on you... so I don't se... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants our sex life spiced up. How should I go about this?
Q. So my boyfriend has told me lately that with regards to sex we do the same thing and he wants me to mix it up and make it more exciting. He has expressed concern that I don't seem to take any initiative, which is something I have to change. My ...
A. 15 March 2010: First of all, you two need to talk about it. A sex life in a relationship takes two to make it work, so if you want to find out "what guys like" - or at least what your guy likes - then you need to talk to him about it. That's the first step.
... (read in full...)
Is mutual masturbation considered sex?
Q. Just curious about two things. Is mutual masturbation considered sex at all? That is the most I have done and I'm not sure if I count it or not. Also, is there an age at which it's considered weird to still be a virgin? I just turned 21 and I feel ...
A. 15 March 2010: Mutual masturbation is considered sexual, but it's not sexual intercourse so technically it isn't sex. But it's still definitely sexual in nature, and is considered to be a part of foreplay usually.
I've known people older than 21 that are virg... (read in full...)
Boyfriend brought up his ex in a drunken conversation
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and i really love him. I always thought we had a good relationship despite the obvious ups and downs every couple has. The main downer at the moment is that when hes drunk he just can't seem to control what ...
A. 15 March 2010: "A drunk mind speaks a sober heart."
A lot of people excuse other's bad behavior or inappropriate things they have said just because of drunkenness, but in fact people tend to say more what's on their mind, truthfully, when they're drunk. Being dr... (read in full...)
Should cunnilingus be reserved for relationships only, or something you do with any sexual partner?
Q. My boyfriend has told me that he likes going down on a woman. And in the past has gone on all women he has been with even one noght stands! This disgusts me. I don't really like a being gone down on and any way what my boyfriend has told me turns...
A. 15 March 2010: Why do you have a problem with cunnilingus?
Going down a woman is completely fine, and if someone has a one night stand and wants to do it, then I don't see why it is a problem.
What I see as a problem is that you seem to think going down... (read in full...)
Was I justified in forcing my boyfriend to drop his friendship with another girl?
Q. Hello everyone. I need some help, fast! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 5 months. We have known each other for 5 years and have been in love for 3 years. He is amazing and loves me very much, and I love him very much as wel...
A. 15 March 2010: In regards to your follow up -
thank you for explaining a bit more. I completely agree that the things she was texting (and what he was possibly texting) could be the beginning of an emotional affair. Emotional affairs can often be more hurtful ... (read in full...)
Any worries with anal sex.
Q. I am 26 and have been with my partner for 8 years, for the past few years we have often been having anal sex as well, although I was apprehensive about it at first and thought it was a bit wrong I do enjoy it, I have mentioned it to a few friends ...
A. 14 March 2010: I'm going to be blunt here, but no matter how pleasurable anal sex can be for some people - things are just not meant to be inserted up that orifice of your body, preferable never. Biologically, it doesn't make sense to do it. It is true that if ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kept his ex's panties. Should I do something? What does it mean?
Q. Hi everyone, I just found this sight and was hoping for some advice. I've been in a serious relationship for 18 months and we are talking marriage here. My guy is terrific, thoughtful, giving, considerate and sweet. BUT today as we were doing ...
A. 14 March 2010: Erm, I'm slightly baffled.
He's kept the panties for 20 years, but yet he's only washing them NOW?! It doesn't make complete sense. And also why did you put them back in his draw, just out of curiosity?
I'm tempted to think that there's som... (read in full...)
Was I justified in forcing my boyfriend to drop his friendship with another girl?
Q. Hello everyone. I need some help, fast! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 5 months. We have known each other for 5 years and have been in love for 3 years. He is amazing and loves me very much, and I love him very much as wel...
A. 14 March 2010: Your reaction is justified depending on how the two were communicating. If you found reason to believe, through reading the text messages, that their relationship was 'inappropriate' (i.e, she was sending 'sexy texts' to him and he was deleting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's thinking of sex and sex only!
Q. Hi friend, Please help me out to come out of prob. My boy friend always want to have sex with me. We had it but, it makes me feel he is with me only for my physic. when ever i call him or he calls me he used to talk about sex and sex only. in fact i ...
A. 14 March 2010: It sounds like you two have different sex drives, which is quite normal for couples. Some have higher sex drives, some have lower sex drives.
Think about why you don't want to have sex as often as he does. Is it just natural, or do you work a l... (read in full...)
What is going on with my boyfriend? MANY issues.
Q. [Mod note: Several questions from the same user combined into one.] FIRST: So my boyfriend of almost a yearnd off on a has in the past flirted with women online, trying to get their number calling them baby and stuff, i broke up with him beca...
A. 14 March 2010: 1. I would be wary of any guy who has screwed around on me in the past (not actually having sex, but just flirting with the idea) and says he wants to "settle down" with me someday. From what I can gather, he isn't taking the relationship as ... (read in full...)
Swinging... Can it happen without things getting messy like jealousy etc?
Q. My new girlfriend wants to swing with another couple she and I consider friends. I am very turned on by the the thought of this but worry about the aftermath. The other couple suggested it to my girl so everyone is on board. Has anyone ever done ...
A. 13 March 2010: Yes, swinging can happen with little jealousy involved, but you need to think about what type of person you are. If you feel even slightly uneasy about watching your girlfriend having sex with other people then chances are that feeling of unease ... (read in full...)
I want him to propose to me SOON!!!
Q. I am 28 and in love with a man of 30. At times, he behaves as if he's talking to his wife but sometimes he seems distant. He had relations with a girl for 7 years before they broke up last year (6 months before he came into my life). At the same ...
A. 13 March 2010: Why do you want to get married so soon? You only got together with him last year, and before that he was in a relationship for 7 years. I'm betting he's not thinking about marriage. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean he doesn't want to commit to you... (read in full...)
She's using her illness as an excuse and I can't take it any more...
Q. Hi, im 20 years old and have been with my girlfriend for five years now we live about 300 miles apart but thats never really been an issue we can easily get a coach to see each other for the weekends its actually uqite nice to get away sumtimes. ...
A. 13 March 2010: Try and look at it from her point of view - she's suffering with a disease. No wonder she's moody all the time, I probably would be too. It can't be a pleasant experience. Usually I don't advocate her behaviour, but I think you need to have a l... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I have hurt his feelings and his manhood- though isn't that better than lying there and faking it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship, we've been together almost 2 years and I genuinely couldn't be happier. My problem actually came just last night, when we were about to make love, and before I had a chance to blink, he was in...
A. 13 March 2010: The problem wasn't the message you communicated, it was how you communicated it.
I understand, because I can be quite hotheaded myself - and I fly off the handle as well.
However, learn from this and talk to him about it. Next time he does som... (read in full...)
He says he prefers me over the porn any day, but I still feel like I am competing with it.
Q. Okay, I know there are a lot of questions on this topic already, but I still need help. My fiance watches porn, a lot. I don't know how much, because he never wants to talk about it, but I know it's very frequently. He said as much to me at on...
A. 13 March 2010: I disagree with anyone who says that porn is part of a person's sexual identity.
Sexual identity is very different from porn use and pornography, because sexual identity is an active part of who you are. When you watch porn, you are behaving... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and friend have admitted wanting to have sex with each other. Am I over reacting to their attraction?
Q. Basically, my boyfriend wants to sleep with one of my very good friends. I wouldn't mind if that was it, because she is extremely beautiful, annoyingly so actually.. but it's the fact that he said that as soon as he saw her, he made a mental note to ...
A. 13 March 2010: Oh geez. You haven't seen any red flags yet?
It sounds as if he's treating you like one of his close guy friends rather than a girlfriend.
What the boyfriend and friend are doing isn't right, and it is VERY disrespectful. If I were you, I'd be... (read in full...)
I'm infatuated with this girl but she is bi. How do I deal with this?
Q. Ok i'm in a real bind here. The girl i love is bi. How do i deal with this exactly? I mean i'm completely infatuated with her, not in a bad way. Honestly, how am i supposed to deal with this? I just don't know how this will work if our relationship ...
A. 13 March 2010: In answer to your follow up, I think you're worrying about nothing.
Just because she's bisexual it doesn't mean she isn't capable of loving someone or committing to them. And just because she's bisexual it doesn't mean she's going to cheat on... (read in full...)
I'm infatuated with this girl but she is bi. How do I deal with this?
Q. Ok i'm in a real bind here. The girl i love is bi. How do i deal with this exactly? I mean i'm completely infatuated with her, not in a bad way. Honestly, how am i supposed to deal with this? I just don't know how this will work if our relationship ...
A. 12 March 2010: Bisexual people can get married, just so you know.
Why do you think this is an issue? Bisexual people like men and women both, so I don't see why that should make you uncomfortable. If she likes you, she likes you. It shouldn't matter that she... (read in full...)
How can I help her orgasm more often?
Q. me and my fiance have sex on a regular basis and she orgasms every time but i kinda feel bad because she rarely orgasms more than once at a time and even rarer still has a really powerful orgasm, but i always end up orgasming at least twice ...
A. 11 March 2010: Why not give her an orgasm before you actually have sex? From my own personal experience. Like go down on her and give her a clitoral orgasm and then have sex with her. If she has an orgasm before sex, then she might have one more easily during sex. ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable about going to a strip club with my boyfriend
Q. Tonight my boyfriends roommate texted me asking if I wanted to go a strip club with them and a few of their friends. He said my boyfriend wouldn't go unless I went too. It was already too late for me, so I said no, but he still wants all of us to ...
A. 11 March 2010: I've never been with a boyfriend, but I've been to strip clubs before - ones with male dancers, and ones with female dancers.
Trust me, if you cannot sit through a sex scene without squirming, you probably don't want to go to a strip club.
... (read in full...)
What is so wrong with me? Should I just give up on relationships and be single forever?
Q. I am needing some advice, I have been single since 2003 and don't get out much at all. I have been single ever since my divorce. When I go out in public and see someone I like, they act like I'm a creep or something. The area where I live is kinda...
A. 11 March 2010: I think you need to analise your own behaviour. What do you think, exactly, is it that makes women feel creeped out? I know personally that if I am creeped out by a guy it is generally because he's too clingy. Sometimes people just seem creepy by ... (read in full...)
Is this the real character of women?
Q. Just a wondering.... Is there a submissive, feminine, sweet side to practically every psychologically healthy straight/bi woman? Could this aspect be described as uninhibited, as in, the fundamental personality inside? Or is this behaviour only a...
A. 11 March 2010: Being submissive, feminine and sweet are all social constructs.
So, in answer to your question - no. Those 'traits' are not present in all women, because not all women are socialised to be submissive, feminine and sweet. Even deep down inside. ... (read in full...)
He is a liar but I cant prove anything
Q. theres a guy at work who ive become very good friends with and am fond of. however very recently ive noticed hes been lying to me a lot which hurts because we get on well together and i though he trusted me but lately my intuition has been bugging ...
A. 10 March 2010: Just leave it. He may be lying, he may not be lying. Ask yourself if it would impact on you if he were lying?
If it would, then there's a problem. But if his lies don't effect you at all then just let it slide.
Lying isn't really a good th... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair? And should I tell my wife?
Q. I'm a married to a lovely wife with 2 fantastic children. I never thought cheating on my wife,never. But last January i met a single woman during a work project, we have a chat and we exchanged our phones. till there i was doing my job, nothing was ...
A. 10 March 2010: Cutting off contact with the other woman is the easy part. Call her one last time and tell her to never contact you again, tell her it's over, then delete her number from your phone. If she tries to contact you, ignore it. Luckily you both live in ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to allow him to be sexual with other women?
Q. I have been with my husband for 5years now. Married for less than one year. I have allowed my husband to have a threesome..should I allow him to continue to be sexual with other women? ...
A. 10 March 2010: Well... are you comfortable with it? Do you like it? If you do, then there's no harm because technically no one is getting hurt.
But if you are uncomfortable then of course this behaviour should cease. Go with your gut feeling. ... (read in full...)
We met while clubbing, but he won't let me club anymore!
Q. My boyfriend has told me that he doesn't want a girlfriend who wants to go clubbing and drink. We have been together for 2 years, we met at a club and for the first 6 months always went clubbing together and we went to every music festival ...
A. 10 March 2010: This man is controlling. That should be a very big red flag for you.
You see, I don't think it's about the fact that he doesn't want you to have fun. He is insecure and probably thinks you're going to go to a club and pick up some guy and cheat on... (read in full...)
She said she doesn't feel anything when she's with a man but insists she's NOT lesbian!
Q. ok here's the deal, I'm 44 years old divorced with kids. I have a friend, she's 36 and she's still a virgin and she doesn't have a boyfriend and hasn't for a few years, I think ever since she was about 26. This is one of my best friends. A lot of ...
A. 9 March 2010: Why do you care about what her sexuality is? That is what was going through my mind while reading this.
If she says she's not a lesbian, then you should just take her word for it. Not only does it not matter, she probably has reasons for why she ... (read in full...)
Do girls actually think this way about the penis size?
Q. I was talking with a girl (not a girlfriend) about relationships and stuff and when we were talking about the sexual aspect and stuff about how sex is an important part one, she brought up something about penis size. Well I, being the honest(lol) ...
A. 9 March 2010: At 18, you aren't done growing just yet. Most people grow well in to their 20s. Adolescence doesn't actually come to a halt until the mid 20s. So don't despair if you think your penis is "too small", because there's a chance you will still grow.
... (read in full...)
I'm desperate to experience an orgasm...
Q. I am with my boyfriend 2 years and I am not able to let him make me cum. I get to a certain stage and then I push his hand away, I have tried at home myself but I'm just not able. I have never experienced the feeling of it before and really do want ...
A. 9 March 2010: A lot of people do not seem realise that the act of orgasming is almost always as a result of your psychological machinations rather than what the other person is doing. In other words, if you are pushing his hand away before you orgasm and just ... (read in full...)
Been with him for 10 years and want to get married...
Q. I need Help, I have been with My Boyfriend Almost Ten years, and I have hinted to Him For awhile that I want to Get married. He has a son that I just adore and He is know asking his dad why we are not married. I feel that it is Time for us to Get ...
A. 9 March 2010: My opinion on this is probably a bit different from other's opinions.
Some people just don't want to get married, but still want to commit to one person. I know this, because I am one of those people. I will gladly commit to someone, but without ... (read in full...)
He cheated...it drives me crazy...completely crazy...
Q. By bf and I just turned one year last Feb. And last Friday I found out that a month right after we got together, he had sex with a girl from our work (it's a restaurant franchise). I don't work there anymore, but I knew the girl he had sex with. My ...
A. 9 March 2010: The only thing that will stop these films in your mind is time.
At the moment you are in a state of shock, and the good thing about it is that your boyfriend seems remorseful about the situation. That's a plus because, initially, for a couple t... (read in full...)
Can all women cum?
Q. Hey everyone me and my girlfriend have been together for a while now but i have some questions. For any women out there, can ALL women cum? and if so, is an orgasm more exhilirating or just as with or with out cumming... ...
A. 9 March 2010: In answer to your follow up, if she says she's orgasmed, then I guess you'll just have to take her word for it. Usually, though, you can tell if someone is having a orgasm. Does she make any sounds? Does she moan or sigh? Does her body tense and ... (read in full...)
He's a control freak, a fault finder and has anger issues... Should I stay in the marriage for the sake of my son?
Q. I've been married for almost 5 years now. We rushed into things and got married right away. I've regretted it almost every day since. He's a control freak, a fault finder, and has some anger issues (but he doesn't hit me). He's never happy. Ever. I ...
A. 8 March 2010: "So my son has what he needs?" Seriously, what is your son going to benefit from your marriage to this man, if you're unhappy and your husband is unhappy?
If your marriage is not a happy one, he's a control freak and you can't do certain things b... (read in full...)
We don't use a condom but he never comes inside me... so could I be pregnant?
Q. my boyfriend and i never use a condom when we have sex, but he never finishes inside me, but he has fingered me when he has seaman on his fingers. for the past week or so i have been feeling nauseated, my back has been hurting, i have cramps that ...
A. 8 March 2010: Take a pregnancy test. It's much more effective than asking people over the Internet you've never met... ;)
But you could be pregnant, who knows. If semen has gone inside of you, then yeah, there's always a chance.
Why don't you use a condom... (read in full...)
I'm (almost) straight and married but I've developed a crush on my female boss. What now?
Q. Over the last few months I've developed a crush on my boss. (we are both women, she's straight and married. i practically straight and married.) And, I'm finding myself really obessing about her. Can't stop thinking...it feels like it's all i ...
A. 8 March 2010: Being married or being in a relationship does not mean you cannot have feelings for anybody else. Just don't act on them. You see this crush as a negative thing, but it doesn't have to be. Usually, you can't help who you like, just accept it. You ... (read in full...)
Bedroom tips?
Q. My boyfriend said to me today that I'm not experimental with sex and that we are confined to four postions. But he said he is happy with our sex life. Any tips for the bedroom?...
A. 8 March 2010: So he said "you're not experimental" but then didn't offer any tips himself? Why did he even mention it then?
Anyway...
Maybe start off trying new sex positions, ask him for advice if he has any or just research some online. I don't know the p... (read in full...)
I am away from my wife and I don't want to masturbate or have an affair, so what can I do?
Q. i am married but abroad away from spouse.i am feeling frustrated as i have not been able to have an intercourse and even i have not masterbated and have not had wet dream even for the last 3 months. how do i get relaxed,when i do not want to maste...
A. 8 March 2010: I'm curious as to why you don't want to masturbate? Do you consider it cheating? Or does your wife consider it cheating?
Either way, it isn't cheating because there's only you involved. You can't cheat on her with yourself...
If you physic... (read in full...)
Is it true - DO big shoes mean a big penis?
Q. hey guys im just a bit curious if this is correct, but is true that guys with a big shoe size have a big ding dong? like for example if a guy had a 12 inch and a half shoe size would his penis be larger than a guy with a 5 inch shoe? is this true?? ...
A. 7 March 2010: No. Shoe size is not correlated with penis size. ... (read in full...)
Can all women cum?
Q. Hey everyone me and my girlfriend have been together for a while now but i have some questions. For any women out there, can ALL women cum? and if so, is an orgasm more exhilirating or just as with or with out cumming... ...
A. 7 March 2010: Erm... "cumming" and "orgasming" are the same thing, in answer to your follow up question. ... (read in full...)
Can all women cum?
Q. Hey everyone me and my girlfriend have been together for a while now but i have some questions. For any women out there, can ALL women cum? and if so, is an orgasm more exhilirating or just as with or with out cumming... ...
A. 7 March 2010: Generally, yes - all women can have an orgasm. Some women just have a harder time reaching orgasm than others do.
What's exhilarating depends on the girl. I personally love the feel of an orgasm, but other women might be satisfied otherwis... (read in full...)
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