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*omas

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I have a deep mind and am a moral person. What does this mean?

Q.   I really like this guy, but I don't know how much he likes me. He always smiles and seems happy to see me, but he's pretty much friendly to everyone. However, he also said that I have a deep mind and am a moral person. What does this mean?...

A.   14 February 2009: It's not a bad sign. But more so I think it is an opening, a possibility, rather than a decision or statement. What you do with the opening is up to you.... (read in full...)

How do you find out if your dad is cheating?

Q.   My dad has been acting kind of strange lately well I have seen him like this before too, it seems like it happens every once and a while. My dad works long hours, recently just a few days he has been leaving early to go to work and then coming ...

A.   14 February 2009: I had similar suspicions about my mother once, and did some digging, and found out things I wish now I did not know. I did not want to tell my father, as it was over, and did not want to tell my mother, as I knew it would drive a wedge between us. ... (read in full...)

I have a deep mind and am a moral person. What does this mean?

Q.   I really like this guy, but I don't know how much he likes me. He always smiles and seems happy to see me, but he's pretty much friendly to everyone. However, he also said that I have a deep mind and am a moral person. What does this mean?...

A.   14 February 2009: Ditto anonymous below. "deep mind and moral, you say? would you add attractive to that list?"... (read in full...)

How do I help myself orgasm?

Q.   Ok I'm 17 years old and I have just started being sexually active... I have a guy who is a bit older than me so he's quite experienced, and we have really good sex. The only problem is I've never had an orgasm. I really want to, but I don't know ...

A.   14 February 2009: 95% of the time my wife has an orgasm (and certainly how she started), was 1) start with *nothing* inserted in the vagina 2) wet/lubricated gentle, steady rhythmic pressure on the clitoris (but the hood/shaft, not right on the tip - too sensit... (read in full...)

How can I let him know I'm nowhere ready to sleep with him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. I once told him that I'm not abstinent because of my religion but I explained to him that I'm not just gonna give it up to any guy but I think he's been hinting me that he thinks he's gonna get ...

A.   14 February 2009: "You should never consider sleeping with a guy unless you think he would be the father to your children." Seconded. I had a girlfriend once who told me that she wasn't a virgin, but she felt losing her virginity had been a mistake, and tha... (read in full...)

I felt really uncomfortable when he touched me "there!"

Q.   there's this guy that I've spent nearly everyday after school with since I was 12. He's my mom's best friend so she don't have a problem with me staying in his apartment until she gets home from work. He's been acting really strange around me latly ...

A.   14 February 2009: anonymous, though i know this sound scary, I seriously believe the right thing for you to do is to either print this page out, or bring your mom to the computer, and show her this. you won't know some of the things yet that adults know, but... (read in full...)

My b/f wants to cum on my face & in my mouth but I hate it!

Q.   My boyfriend of a year wants to come in my mouth and on my face. I give him oral sex, and I let him come on my neck and boobs, but he is always unhappy. Having cum on my face feels disgusting and I feel violated and disrespected. He wants me to go ...

A.   14 February 2009: I can't believe I am going to step in this bear trap... It is very easy to say you should tell him to fuck off. And maybe you should. For one thing, individuals (and couples) have very different sexual tastes, and what one person consider... (read in full...)

I lied about my age & he found out!

Q.   hey im 34 yrs old , met and a guy some 3 yrs ago, thot it was going to be just a fling, but he ended up talking marriage, problem is im 3yrs older than he is but i lied then that it was just one yr diffence, well he just found out, i actually meant ...

A.   14 February 2009: I'm going to play bad guy here. Yes, the age thing is irrelevant. But he isn't going to angry about your age (I hope). What he is going to be angry about is the lying. And not the lying at the beginning of a relationship, though that doesn't ... (read in full...)

I think he's cheating..what else could it be?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are in our early/mid thirties and have been in a long distance relationship for 18 months. I have nagging doubts that something is amiss. The first time was 7 months ago when I spent ages waiting for him whilst he went to buy t...

A.   14 February 2009: It sounds like you are not getting what you need emotionally from this relationship. LDRs are hard, and your time together needs to be very fulfilling and open, in order to make up for the pain that usually fills the time apart. Regar... (read in full...)

I'm 19 and in love with a 35 year old man...is this wrong?

Q.   I am seriously in love with a 35 year old man, would be 36 this month and I'll be 19. We've been going out for 5 months now, we really love each other. We know each other's pasts, flaws and everything and this isn't just a sexual relationship, ...

A.   13 February 2009: It may help you to understand what will make others (especially parents) concerned about this situation. I'm sure you get some of this, but hopefully spelling it out directly will help you avoid some pitfalls. First of all, when most people see ... (read in full...)

I don't think I should tell him about my abortion, any ideas?

Q.   I'm in love and I don't know what to do. My best friend is a guy and I love him to bits. We always go out for drinks together, we share everything. I've tried to tell him that I'm in love with him and he say's that he is in love with me too but is ...

A.   13 February 2009: One of the anonymouses described a scenario for telling him. I'd like to add an observation, before offering thoughts on the to-tell-or-not-to-tell. If you want to tell him, the suggestions in the note (at your place, a Friday, etc) all seem we... (read in full...)

How can I make him see that the way he talks to me hurts me?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over 2 years. We don't live together yet as we just can't seem to stop arguing about things, big or small. I don't always think I am right but my boyfriend doesn't seem to ever see my point of view ...

A.   13 February 2009: Assume that he is who is he, will continue to act the same way he acts, and act accordingly yourself. If that means walking away because you don't want to live your life arguing with someone, then walk away. Maybe he really is willing and able... (read in full...)

I feel I need to give him SOMETHING to keep him interested. Am I right to feel this way?

Q.   Curious - I've been with my boyfriend for a few weeks now. We've discussed sex and all. I told him I wasn't ready yet. He was understanding but said 'I still have my needs'. He asked that I agree to at least BJ's. I didn't say anything at firs...

A.   12 February 2009: It is reasonable for him to state what he thinks he needs from a relationship. That's not the same as saying it is reasonable for him to expect these things from you. Only he knows whether a potential partner's sexual style is a deal... (read in full...)

I have trust issues because of my ex

Q.   Sorry that this is long but heres the thing. When I was a sophomore in highschool I met my first real boyfriend Jason. Its clear to me now that the signs were big that he was no good but I fell for him anyone. We dated for nearly three years but it ...

A.   12 February 2009: hi anonymous, two thoughts come to mind. first, i think it will help you if you can get a more complex view of guys' attitudes towards sex. i'm going to try to explain it as best i can, but on the surface it is kind of like, yes all guys are... (read in full...)

1st time--which position is best?

Q.   I have a question.When losing your virginity,is it better for the female to be on top or the male ?.Bearing in mind, we are both virgins.Any other tips would be great too.I've thought of us having the light off and just having candle light,and ...

A.   12 February 2009: from a guy's standpoint (which is probably the least relevant one), i think it depends on what things are most likely to make you nervous. traditional missionary can seem claustrophobic to some women, as there is this guy over you and you've g... (read in full...)

Is it unreasonable to ask my bf to keep his Playboy mags out of my sight?

Q.   I sincerely appreciate the response of men to this topic. However, I am always discouraged because it ultimately ends with the conclusion 'it's normal' and/or guys will become addicted no matter what. I really want men to GET what porn CAN say to ...

A.   12 February 2009: samurai girl, This is a really interesting question. I was completely with you until you asked the question of, how would you feel if your partner left Playgirls around? ... and my immediate reaction was "wow that would be great" ... and I think ... (read in full...)

Tips about using dildos?

Q.   when i mastuabate I play with my clit. Ive tried a dildo like 5 times, though it never works. How do i make it feel nice? It does fit down there, and it doesnt hurt, i just get nothin sexual out of it. How do I make it more sexual? Thankyoux...

A.   11 February 2009: Remember that, anatomically, the vagina is like a man's scrotum, while the clitoris is equivalent to the penis. Sure having your balls played with is nice and all, but do you know any guys that could get off on that alone? :-)... (read in full...)

She's on the Pill, so can I go without a johnny?

Q.   hey guys bit of a sex question here.......wasnt really told this in school lol . errr my GF is on the pill that apparently makes her 95% less likely to get pregnant or somit, she finished her period like 4 days ago, she recons its nearly impossibl...

A.   10 February 2009: Both mate.... (read in full...)

Will my BF mind if his GF isn't great in bed or incredibly forward?

Q.   I know there's no straight forward answer to this, because everyone is after all different but I was hoping I could get some advice on here. My question is more or less 'do guys like virgins?' but specifically 'will the boyfriend mind if his ...

A.   10 February 2009: Quick answers from the guy side: + Tightness thing is bull. It's guys trying to talk about car engines and computer power; trying to sound like they are experts at stuff all guys wished they knew more about. Forget it. + Virginity can be i... (read in full...)

Do you think it's possible to love someone without him/ her loving you back?

Q.   Do you think it's possible to love someone without him/ her loving you back? Personally, i'm not sure... it sometimes seems like an obvious NO... but other times, when i look back at people i've "loved" (when it wasn't reciprocated) i think that it ...

A.   10 February 2009: It's absolutely possible to love someone who doesn't love you. That's what's meant by unrequited love. Also remember there are many different kinds of love (try looking up Love on Wikipedia). There's not really one thing that is "real" love and ... (read in full...)

Is there any way possible I can make this work again with my wife?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my wife now for 22 years. For 13 of the years we have been married. We are both 36 years old and we meet at school. My wife and I have 3 children. 9, 7 and 3. For the past 5 years I have treated my wife badly. I ...

A.   10 February 2009: I'd echo some of Basschick's sentiments as well. Don't think that everyone else has perfect relationships and somehow you are fundamentally different. Everybody has to work at this, to varying degrees. Everybody hurts someone they love. That's ... (read in full...)

I don't want a bad reputation but I want to fool around and have fun!

Q.   I'm 15 and all these guys are trying to get in my pants, like at a party these hot guy i was dancing with put my hand on his dick, and he had a huge boner, and this other guy kept raising my dress til it was barely covering my butt. Im not ready to ...

A.   10 February 2009: You said you wanted to have fun and fool around before it's time to get serious. I'd suggest that the time to get serious (from a relationship standpoint) is probably your mid-to-late twenties. After you've got your diploma and hopefully degree... (read in full...)

My friends are all getting boyfriends

Q.   please help. I know you cant actually comfort me that much as the fact I have are bleak..but I just need to tell someone, anyone.. I feel so trapped at the moment. My friends are all getting boyfriends..or already have bfs and are all so happy...

A.   10 February 2009: Great answer below. When you are young, you (rightly) don't trust your "radar" to tell who is interested. You have to make your best guess, test it, and see if you were right. Of course it is uncomfortable (try being a teenage boy practicing what ... (read in full...)

Terrified to ask her out in case she says no and it ruins our friendship.

Q.   I have a few questions... I have liked this girl for a few years now and we have just been good friends. We have alot in common and I have the sense that she likes me too. She is always giving me random hugs and whatnot so I think it's time to ask ...

A.   10 February 2009: I should have been more clear in my other answer. I don't think you declaring your interest ("you ever think about getting together? Me too!/neither!") is likely to ruin a friendship. Declaring your undying love for her soul ("you complete me"), ... (read in full...)

Terrified to ask her out in case she says no and it ruins our friendship.

Q.   I have a few questions... I have liked this girl for a few years now and we have just been good friends. We have alot in common and I have the sense that she likes me too. She is always giving me random hugs and whatnot so I think it's time to ask ...

A.   10 February 2009: Since you have two people saying Yes, let me throw in a Maybe. I've been in some similar situations with very good friends of many years. In one case, she broke up with me and I still wanted her. We cared for each other but lost our friendship. ... (read in full...)

How long do I finger my g/f to give her an orgasm?

Q.   We want a bit more sparkle in are realationship, but dont want to have sex yet or my girlfreind doesnt want a lickout or doesnt want to give a blojob. We are both 15. We've been goin for 15months. I respect her alot and ive sugested sex but she seem...

A.   10 February 2009: If she is comfortable with it, you can ask her to take your hand and show you how she likes to be touched. This way you can learn, she isn't pressured to respond to something that isn't right for her, and you give her tacit permission to take ... (read in full...)

He got me a $1000.00 gift certificate and I'm planning on divorcing him!

Q.   Separated from husband, planning on filing for divorce, just giving him time to adjust to the break up. For V-Day he bought me $1,000.00 gift certificate from a nice jewelry store. I don't know what to do! We've been apart 2 years and I've told ...

A.   10 February 2009: Depending on how much money you two have how much you like jewelry when the gift certificate expires whether it seemed to have been given generously rather than passive-aggressively, You could put it into a safe depos... (read in full...)

Is there any way possible I can make this work again with my wife?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my wife now for 22 years. For 13 of the years we have been married. We are both 36 years old and we meet at school. My wife and I have 3 children. 9, 7 and 3. For the past 5 years I have treated my wife badly. I ...

A.   10 February 2009: tonykim, I appreciate that you've taken the time to spell out in detail how you see the situations you've been through. I'm going to try to be respectful of you by saying rather bluntly what comes across from it, in the spirit of trying to make s... (read in full...)

He went to whores and prostitutes while I was on holiday!!!

Q.   I went on a vacation with my baby and when I was gone my husband got totally wasted with some friends and went to a whore house and had sex with a prostitute. Right after I got home from my vacation my husband and I put our child to sleep and he ...

A.   10 February 2009: Wow, I'm sorry. I'm gonna go against my gut and try - briefly - to give the benefit of the doubt. 1) Is this completely out of character for him? Is he a wandering eye kind of guy? A boys-will-be-boys boy? Should we read anything into th... (read in full...)

Will my mother jump to conclusions if she finds a lighter in my purse?

Q.   Do you think my mom will think anything of it if she finds a lighter in my purse? I don't smoke, I just have one for friends that do that forget their own sometimes....

A.   10 February 2009: One thing to watch out for. If they are like "dang I forgot my lighter" and you are like "here use mine", then you are sorta setting yourself up as the 'cool girl who smokes' (why else have the lighter). So someone you like takes out a cigarett... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's porn makes me feel betrayed

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for around seven months, it is my longest relationship and it seems to have been going better than usual recently.I love him and am happy in the relationship. However, the topic of porn came up recently...

A.   9 February 2009: What Cerberus said. What turns most guys on, is an attractive woman who is sexually aroused / interested in them. What makes porn exciting is basically how extremely turned on the women act (we know it is acting). I think most guys wish th... (read in full...)

I need a release after all my problems but would this be a correct way to have it?

Q.   Well, i recently came out of my first relationship. My girlfriend didnt want any intimacy at all, no hus or kisses, and as im nice and all i thought i wont pressure her at all, and she'd eventually get over her problem. I didnt want sex at all thou...

A.   9 February 2009: First of all, you're doing a great job (even if it may not feel like it). Your teenage years can be like a horror movie for emotions sometimes, and you're keeping your head. Kudos. As for the second girl, I honestly don't think there is a simpl... (read in full...)

Girlfriend thinks I'm cheating what do I do?

Q.   My wife thinks I'm cheating on her because I've been refusing sex for about 4 weeks. But that's because I've been feeling like crap lately and quite stress out as well. She keeps asking me straight up if I'm cheating or not and I kept telling her I ...

A.   9 February 2009: I'm with the others that making an effort for intimacy is a good idea, even if you aren't in the mood. Having said that, if it isn't in the cards, it may be that the "feeling like crap" and stress are too big in your mind. (Keeping an erec... (read in full...)

My teasing him forced him to force himself on me!

Q.   Ok, my husband has been telling me for weeks now that if I keep teasing him the way I do he would make me carry through with it. I never thought he would actually make me do it, but of course I was dumb enough to push him to it. I know you all will ...

A.   9 February 2009: There's a lot of debate here about who deserves what. And you also asked a question, that I'm not sure got answered. 1. It is very difficult for a guy (or gal I guess) to be sexually engaged and then stop. Emotionally, it can be like abandonment... (read in full...)

How do I perform good foreplay on a circumcised guy?

Q.   I've just started a relationship with an older guy (25) and I know that he's been circumcised. I've been with a few guys before and have no complaints but they've all been uncircumcised. I'm just a little unsure as to how to make foreplay good. I ...

A.   9 February 2009: One thing you don't have to worry about - there is still plenty of "slack" to move the skin relative to the shaft of the penis. You're right that there isn't as much skin to move over the head of the penis ... it will sort of just go over the ridge ... (read in full...)

Am I attracted to him, or his skin colour?

Q.   Hi Ok so im 15 and a sophmore in high school and my peoble is a little odd. I'm white and about a year and a half ago realized that I am more attracted to black boys than I am any other race. So when I figured this info out I kinda kept it to my se...

A.   9 February 2009: I'm white and my wife is black. Every other woman I dated was white. One was blonde. One a redhead. One brown hair. Two crushes had black hair, one fair complexion, the other olive-skinned. We like people for lots of reasons. How they look i... (read in full...)

My father issues have made me needy for male company.

Q.   Hey, posted on here before about doubts with my boyfriend, lack of wanting sex and affection, too 'busy' having fun to want to see him. The doubts I have been having have worsened since coming to uni, after a rather unpleasant childhood and father i...

A.   9 February 2009: If you want to be single, be single. University is a great time to find out more about who you are, and what things (and people) you like. I'm not sure if this is a long-distance relationship or not, but those require enormous commitment, and ... (read in full...)

Guys: What do you consider sexy? NOT slutty!

Q.   I would like to know from the Guys. What is attractive to you. Explain to me an outfit you like to see on a woman that looks attractive not slutty, but sexy..?? More so an outfit that covers her body and is not showing a Butt load of skin either. ...

A.   9 February 2009: For me, what tends to make a look go overboard from attractive to desperate is (a) too tight, (b) too much leg/chest/midriff, and especially (c) too much makeup. I find a woman in good fitting jeans and a white T-shirt about as sexy as anything... (read in full...)

I think I'm bi-polar...

Q.   hey...is there a way to know you're bipolar without going to the doctor?. sometimes i think i'm bipolar because all of the sudden i start to cry and get angry at others for no reason..if you read this and your bipolar can you tell me some things ...

A.   9 February 2009: I have a friend who is bipolar, and another who is clinically depressed. I'm not an expert, though. Bipolar is also called manic-depression. It is a swing between extreme moods. When manic, someone feels invincible, often taking extreme r... (read in full...)

Will my mother jump to conclusions if she finds a lighter in my purse?

Q.   Do you think my mom will think anything of it if she finds a lighter in my purse? I don't smoke, I just have one for friends that do that forget their own sometimes....

A.   9 February 2009: If you really have no intention of smoking at all, you could try going to her and telling her. Let me back up. Most parents really worry about their kids closing up, and then making mistakes on their own (drugs, sex, drinking, smoking) ... mis... (read in full...)

She has feelings for me, but I don't feel the same. How do I let her down gently?

Q.   Hello everyone, My problem is difficult. I've been working in a crap, deadend job for 7 soul distroying months now (yes i would and have tried to move but there are absolutely no jobs at the moment for obvious reasons). During this time i becam...

A.   9 February 2009: You're right to not want to string her along. And the last thing you said is, I think, the most important. She is already your friend. If you don't see her in a romantic way, and you don't feel the chemistry that you think you would need, then... (read in full...)

I got back together with my ex because I felt bad, but I'm faking it now. Should I let her down nicely or simply vanish?

Q.   I told my X that I wouldn't mind trying it one more time.But now I want out. She was crying hysterically and I felt bad. I don't think she has changed enough, there is no newness to being with her agiain. and since our break up I feel like a new ...

A.   9 February 2009: You should talk to her. It sucks to sit around and wonder if you did something wrong, to try to draw (the wrong) lessons from a heartbreak. But it also sounds like the talk isn't a "how can we make this work" but rather a "I can't make this ... (read in full...)

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