New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244985 questions, 1084395 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*helaird1 agony aunt

*helaird1

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *helaird1 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *helaird1 a private message

*helaird1's Ratings
Excellent78%
Average10%
Poor12%
123Next > [3 pages, 64 answers]

I wanna break up with him, am I gonna regret it?

Q.   Hiya aunts, I need your help! Long Story cut short.. I've been seein this guy for 2 years now but he has a girlfriend who he lives with! I used to work with him and see him everyday but now we don't work together I never see him or even speak to hi...

A.   2 June 2012: You would regret it if his girlfriend found out. You need to leave this guy straight away. If the feeling was mutual, he would have left her long ago. This guy is playing with your emotion and craves the hold he has on you. Walk away with your he... (read in full...)

How can I tell my boyfriend that I've lost our baby?

Q.   I was 8 weeks pregnant until 2 days ago I lost the baby. Inside I feel so sad and desperately lonely. This is because I dont know how to tell my boyfriend I have lost our baby. I am in a LDR with my bf whos in the military. We have been togeth...

A.   16 October 2011: I'm sorry about the baby. I know exactly how you must feel. However, it is important that you tell him straight away. He does need to know and you will both need to support each other. This could even bring you closer together. I know you mus... (read in full...)

What could be the reason for the pain?

Q.   my boyfriend fingers me very well and i feel no pain but pleasure but everytime he takes his finger out its painful. Yet when its out the pain goes away. At times i think maybe its because he takes out quickly!? What could be the reason...

A.   14 October 2011: Have you tried it with your own fingers? Maybe it is his nail or something else on the skin. If you have concerns, you should pay a visit to your GP who can check you over and get you the right diagnosis... (read in full...)

How do I tell my friend I fancy her sister whom I've never met but have seen photos of?

Q.   Hi. My problem is this. I was looking at the Facebook profile of an old school friend. While looking at her profile, I decided to look at her sister's profile. Her sister is gorgeous and I have a lot in common with her, but I have never met h...

A.   11 October 2011: Why not just mention to her that you saw the pic and find her sister very attractive? You dont have to just ask for a date. Just ask a casual question about her. She may even mention you to her and she may also like your pics. Just take time and... (read in full...)

I need a good facebook status that will make my ex jealous

Q.   I know this sounds really immiture and daft but I need a good facebook status that will make my ex bf jealous I don't want to make him think in seeing someone or anything but aw I don't know I really want him back I still love him I know he loves me ...

A.   10 October 2011: Don't bother with games. Just delete the guy and block him. It will make him wonder what you are doing, but the main thing is that you need to just move on from this guy. Just cease contact with him and let yourself move on. No need to play game... (read in full...)

I'm having a hard time finding a boyfriend. Why arn't guys attracted to me, they same way they are to my friends?

Q.   I am 20 years old and I have having a hard time finding a boyfriend. I live away from home at my university and when I go out to bars, my friends have no problem picking up guys or getting guys to dance with them. I do not think I am unfortunate ...

A.   9 October 2011: I agree with the others on this. You are too good for them and they probably think you are out of their league. I would suggest either dating sites, or even mutual friends can hook you up. Just spend time enjoying things you do and even take up ... (read in full...)

He NEVER will talk to me in public! Am I just his booty call? PS: he also has a girlfriend

Q.   So, there's this guy. I really really like him, and he seems to like me back. But he NEVER talks to me in public. Only when its just me and him. He has this girlfriend that he claims to love. But when he's with me he says he doesn't even care...

A.   8 October 2011: The guy doesn't deserve you or his girlfriend. He has no respect for you whatsoever. You are a booty call, simple as that. He gets all he wants from his gf, then calls you occasionally when he gets horny. The only thing you are likely to get from... (read in full...)

Mixed signals? So does she like me NOW? Despite denying wanting to go out with me earlier?

Q.   If a girl you're extremely close friends with (and has previously slept with one occasion) says to you one morning, "You know that feeling you get after a night of really great sex? Despite not having it last night, I feel like I have. Thanks for an ...

A.   7 October 2011: You need to ask her straight, as you will not get a definitive answer here, only advice. I understand you must be confused, so you need to ask her so you know for sure... (read in full...)

How can I tell my teacher that she is like a second mother to me?

Q.   first of all, i have an english teacher and i love her very much as a second mother but she doesn't know that. and i really want to tell her that i love her as a second mother but i don't know how she is going to react if i told her that. so, what ...

A.   7 October 2011: Don't say a word. You have developed a crush and it will pass. Please don't say anything to her. It will never end the way you hope.... (read in full...)

How do I not ruin this relationship, due to my insecurities over failed past relationships?

Q.   I have had a really bad relationship in the past that was emotionally abusive and resulted in me being very insecure. He cheated on me repeatedly, lied about even basic things and put me down constantly, when he kicked me out I was left pretty d...

A.   7 October 2011: I have been in your situation before, so understand you completely. You prob spend a lot of time crying and not really knowing why. I think you would really benefit from speaking to your doctor and have him refer you to a councillor, because ... (read in full...)

My BF of two months gave me a promise ring. But how do I handle this? Another guy wants me to go with him instead.

Q.   I don't know if I'm making the right choice or not!!!! Okay so my BF of two months gave me a promise ring at my Homecoming dance. I accepted it thinking it was so sweet and he was my Mr. Right. Well now I don't known if I'm making the right choice...

A.   6 October 2011: I remember being deeply in love when I was 15 and thinking I would spend the rest of my life with her.,... Then I started to get older and realised I didn't even know what love was back then. Someday you will look back on this and laugh about it... (read in full...)

My FWB is being far too casual with me. Is he losing interest?

Q.   I don't understand my FWB guy. He seemed really into me and said that he just wanted "a bit of fun" I am fine with this. But what I don't get is that I just hardly ever hear from him. If I text him he doesn't always reply we're supposed to be m...

A.   6 October 2011: You need to just walk away from this guy and find someone who deserves your time. You are never going to get what you seek from this man, so just let him do his own thing. I would advise that you just delete his number and let him fade from you... (read in full...)

Age gaps while dating in school?

Q.   My mates younger brother asked me a question the other day that i couldn't answer properly so I thought I would ask the dearcupid community. In a rough round about way he is 15 and he fancies a kid a 2 years younger but he was getting stick fr...

A.   4 October 2011: I suppose it depends on the person I suppose. I was in a relationship with a girl until I was 15. When we started dating, I was 13, she was 11. There was never any thought of sex and our kisses were never more than a small peck on the lips. Even... (read in full...)

Can you be friends with your ex?

Q.   Are there signs that your ex might want to give you another chance. I dont think mine is like the typical ex. but then again i dont know. she messaged me today so we talked a little bit but she kept asking me questions. and I got annoyed and said is ...

A.   4 October 2011: I think it is possible to be best friends with an ex. That's the case for me anyway. However, I don't think it's just friends you are looking for. It's impossible to be just friends with an ex if there are still deep rooted feelings involved... (read in full...)

Seeing his old messages brought up my insecurities

Q.   Well this morning my boyfriend left me alone in his flat as he went to work. I wanted to watch tv online so I turned it on but before decided to check my fb. As he never usually is logged in I didn't expect it when he was. I then began looking ...

A.   4 October 2011: It's a tricky situation. But did you used to chat to other people before you were together? I know I did. The insecurity will only become worse if you are not careful. You need to be open and honest with him and talk about how you feel. We all ha... (read in full...)

I'm worried about how I will handle my first relationship. Can anyone give me any tips?

Q.   Hi. Okay, so I'm sixteen and I've never had an actual relationship before. Like, I've liked a guy and they've liked me back but its never gone as far as that, kinda like a 'flirtationship'. I'm scared that when i eventually get into a relation...

A.   3 October 2011: Just be yourself and take each day as it comes. Communication is the key for any relationship, so don't be afraid to ever say what's on your mind and spend time talking. You can only really learn from experience and mistakes will teach you many v... (read in full...)

Can I make myself taller?

Q.   m 22 yrs old n my height is 5.4 inch only.. Is there another way to increase my height .. Plz suggest me How to increase my height?...

A.   3 October 2011: You can't make yourself physically taller, but why do you want to be? I love petit girls. I am 5 foot 7 and would hate to be taller. I'm scared of heights for one and the toilet seat is a big enough target as it is. You need to learn to become ha... (read in full...)

Gents!! What gets you going?

Q.   A quick question to all the gentlemen here :) Gentlemen , What is it that makes you attracted to women and turned on by them?...

A.   2 October 2011: A nice smile, nice eyes and nice body. However, personality and intelligence are my biggest turn ons. I love a girl who can engage me in deep conversation, is honest and has a good sense of humour. A woman who is happy in herself is always a... (read in full...)

I'm 34 and feel I should be married but I'm only attracted to the "bad boys"!

Q.   HELP! I'm only attracted to the so-called "bad boys". The ones in a band, or with dark hair and leather pants, etc. Metal. Goth. Punk. And the one thing in common. They break my heart. Because they start to act like they want something real and...

A.   29 September 2011: You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. I know many guys that act and dress like that, but it doesn't make them bad guys or mean they will break your heart. Let yourself be in places where this type of guy goes and speak to them. Eng... (read in full...)

My gay best friend wants me to be his pretend girlfriend so that his parents don't get to know about his sexual orientation

Q.   Hi, I'm a 15 year old girl. One of my best friends is gay, and he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend so his parents don't get suspicious. They don't know he's gay and are very strict in their religion, which is anti-gay. My friend has a plan. ...

A.   17 September 2011: How do you think his parents would feel if they found out the truth? You are a good friend, but he should not encourage deception on your part. You can be a best friend without a pretense, and should just support him regardless. His parents w... (read in full...)

I deleted this hot girls number and now I regret it! Should I ask for her number again?

Q.   Hi, I need help I made a mistake by deleting the numbers of some hot girl who lives nearby my place.. What happened was when she gave me her numbers that day she was handling her phone call, when I asked who was it she said it was her boyfriend, ...

A.   16 September 2011: Deleting the number was for the best. She is a dishonest person and probably has many guys on the go. You deleted her number through gut instinct. Rely on it. You did the right thing. If you got into a relationship with this girl, then I'm sure you... (read in full...)

Whenever we hug boyfriend gets hard!

Q.   Ok, so here's the deal. When me and my boyfriend hug, he gets a boner. I find it hilarious, but I never acknowledge it properly. More often than not, I'll just rest my hip against it and move slightly. Just wondering if there's anything els...

A.   16 September 2011: I think you just need to let things happen naturally. He is obviously very attracted to you and you are obviously happy with it. Just have fun and stay safe... (read in full...)

I have concerns about my son dating a Turkish girl

Q.   I've got two children, a 17-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter. We went on a family holiday to Turkey last month for 2 weeks, and it was pretty much great - Mediterranean sun, beach, breeze, cool air, etc. However, you normally hear abo...

A.   15 September 2011: I see nothing wrong at all with it. Let them do whatever make them happy. I am English and engaged to a Spanish girl. We have never had any problems and would find the term "find a nice local girl" quite offensive and racist. The only problem I w... (read in full...)

Lonely and need help trying to get a date

Q.   Well i need help im about to be 19 height of 5'10 and weight 226 ive been lonely for a long time so i want to date badly but i have trouble doing that because im a big fat guy and i cant stop thinking that i will never find someone to like me for ...

A.   15 September 2011: I agree with kittie. If you are not happy within yourself, how can you make someone else happy? Size and weight isn't a problem. It's only a problem for shallow people. Get yourself to the gym or find a hobby you enjoy and enjoy being yourself. Wh... (read in full...)

I never normally go for younger guys...but he seems really mature!

Q.   Hey everyone, Im in a bit of a dilemma and I need your help.I am currently 18 and going to be 19 in two weeks. Anyway there's this guy who I like who's 16,that's just started college. Now my problem is I NEVER go for guys younger than my age,but ...

A.   15 September 2011: The age difference is not great and the maturity level is what's important. If you both really like each other, then it's a shame to not give it a try. Afterall, age is only an issue if you let it be. Best of luck... (read in full...)

I'm 16. My crush on my sister's older friend comes and goes. What should I do about this crush?

Q.   I've had a little bit of a crush on my sister's older friend for about a half year. But here recently my sister's friend and I have been hanging out a lot lately. We've been doing things such as going to the movies, going out to eat, and other fun ...

A.   15 September 2011: Maybe your mind changes because of your sister. How do you think your sister would react if you did start dating her friend? I think only you can answer this question yourself, but be completely sure of what you want before taking it further.... (read in full...)

My best friend's ex is in love with me. What should I do?

Q.   What do I do? My best buddy's ex girlfriend is in love with me. I think she dumped him so she could be with me! The catch is, I actually really like her! But, I also like my best friend (not in a gay way of course). Idk what to do? She wants me to ...

A.   14 September 2011: I'm with claraw1 on this one. You need to sit and explain the situation to your friend and see how he feels about it. Even if he hates it, he will respect you more for it. He may suggest that you date her, but will still hurt him. This is ... (read in full...)

Breaking the ice with a girl?

Q.   There is a girl at my school that i relly like, but am terrified to say anything. Any suggustions as to breaking the ice?...

A.   14 September 2011: Hello always works for me, Don't try to be corny or clever. Just be yourself and have a friendly chat with her. Be natural and let the conversation flow by itself... (read in full...)

Illegal porn on my guys computer. What do I do

Q.   I have been with my partner for 8 months and we are in love. Maybe from being hurt in the past, or my inner feeling, I don't know, but I looked on his laptop and found a clip of illegal porn along with pics of men's private parts. What do I do? ...

A.   13 September 2011: Can you clarify what you mean by illegal? I'm pretty sure if it was child porn, it would be the police you were talking to instead of posting here. As far as mens private parts, this is really something you should be asking him. Some guys have a ... (read in full...)

From start to finish in 4.5 months?

Q.   I'll keep this short as possible. If a couple met and dated 4 1/2 months (long distance) then got married and had a kid within a year...what are the chances it wt wil. Work? Please help...thanks...

A.   13 September 2011: There is no definitive answer to this question, as each relationship is different. I know people who dated for years before marrying, then it failed. I also know people who moved very quickly and are still very happy. To try to answer your q... (read in full...)

How do I become more rough during sex?

Q.   Okay my Agony Aunts, I come back with yet another Issue. My girlfri- well i should say my fiancee have been intimate for a few months now, we've bypassed the friend zone and foreplay and she tells me im not rough enough for her. Now im a genuinely ...

A.   13 September 2011: Have you asked her what she would like? Being rough depends on the girl, so not rough enough for 1 girl may be too rough and quite frightening for another. Smacking on the backside is good with doggy, as is hairpulling. My fiancee likes ... (read in full...)

Husband has been acting really shady lately

Q.   I need some advice... My husband has been acting real shady lately... He'll be on his phone in another room, and then jumps when I walk in the door. He carries his phone into the bathroom with him, won't go anywhere, even in the house, without his ...

A.   12 September 2011: I wish you the very best of luck. It's so easy for people to say dump him, but it's never that easy. I put my ex through the same thing, and although I wasn't cheating, I was texting another girl. We both made many mistakes and she is now much hap... (read in full...)

My family first or him? My family criticize him. So I need to break up but think he'll take it badly

Q.   Hi, I can honestly say that I love my boyfriend. I can honestly admit that I have never feel so much loved before him. However, I am not happy because my family been criticising him in the past few months. His business went down pretty bad. M...

A.   12 September 2011: The first thing I noticed was that everything good you say about him is referred to in past tense. You need to ignore your families comments and be strong. If you keep letting their comments come between you, you will find that this will keep repe... (read in full...)

Help me stop liking this guy who isn't my boyfriend?

Q.   First things first: I have a boyfriend whom I am very much in love with. We are in a long-distance relationship, but we are making it work - we often talk for hours on Skype. We have been together for over a year and we really are very much in love ...

A.   12 September 2011: You can't just stop, as much as you would like to. I think you are genuinely worried that it could affect your relationship, and asking for help here is a good thing to do. However, only you can change things. You need to mention to this guy that... (read in full...)

Husband has been acting really shady lately

Q.   I need some advice... My husband has been acting real shady lately... He'll be on his phone in another room, and then jumps when I walk in the door. He carries his phone into the bathroom with him, won't go anywhere, even in the house, without his ...

A.   12 September 2011: Be straight with him and tell him you don't trust him and suspect he is up to no good. If he says that you should trust him, then tell him to give you good reason to trust him. Ask him to take the phone test. Ask to swap phones for 24 hours and see ... (read in full...)

Can this LD relationship work?

Q.   I have fallen for a girl in another city, about 100 miles away, we both drive so I guess its not to much of a issue, the real issues are I work 60 hours a week, she has a ex bf who is always in the picture, she has a 2 yr old. she is 4 years ...

A.   12 September 2011: Can you both not agree to meet in the middle and move somewhere neutral? Or if she moves to you in the better area, you can ask family and friends for help with childcare. You say she doesn't want to be that far from her family and I understa... (read in full...)

My g/f doesn't have good legs and I'm not sexually attracted to her!

Q.   I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 years. Unfortunately, try as I might, I haven't found her sexually attractive for some time. We have marriage plans, and I'm sure she would be a good life partner, mother, etc., but I don't know if this can work ...

A.   12 September 2011: So if you are not attracted to her legs, what attracted you to her in the first place? I feel that you have lost the sense of what made you fall in love with this woman initially. I'm sure there are things about you that she isn't attracted ... (read in full...)

Would you have a relationship with a bi polar person?

Q.   Hi, I'm very worried about being able to have a nice relationship. I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I don't have a severe case of it, but.. I really don't know what else to say about it. Anyway, would you have a relationship with som...

A.   12 September 2011: Yes I would. Bipolar is quite misunderstood at the moment, especially for young people. Just be honest about it, and if he can't handle it, then you deserve better and someone more mature about these things.... (read in full...)

I care so deeply for this girl, I don't want her to slip up and kill herself

Q.   Well it looks like I've found myself between a rock and a really hard place.. We've been together for 2 months, everthing's been going great. I know who she really is, she's sweet and cute and I guess a little on the shy side, I accept all of wh...

A.   12 September 2011: This girl is on a downward spiral and can possibly take you along for the ride. You have posted your concerns on here, which is a good sign that you care, but you must be more practical. You both are really young and it will be easier for you b... (read in full...)

Can this LD relationship work?

Q.   I have fallen for a girl in another city, about 100 miles away, we both drive so I guess its not to much of a issue, the real issues are I work 60 hours a week, she has a ex bf who is always in the picture, she has a 2 yr old. she is 4 years ...

A.   12 September 2011: I met a girl on Facebook 18 months ago and we are going very strong and plan to marry shortly. I am from Liverpool, England and she is from Barcelona, Spain. We maintained a long distance relationship for a while, chatting on webcam via msn or s... (read in full...)

My family first or him? My family criticize him. So I need to break up but think he'll take it badly

Q.   Hi, I can honestly say that I love my boyfriend. I can honestly admit that I have never feel so much loved before him. However, I am not happy because my family been criticising him in the past few months. His business went down pretty bad. M...

A.   11 September 2011: You both need to sit down and talk things through openly and honestly. In fairness to you Avril, you do seem to care about this guy a lot. Maybe you can just offer him friendship and support. Then hopefully things will improve all around in the futu... (read in full...)

My family first or him? My family criticize him. So I need to break up but think he'll take it badly

Q.   Hi, I can honestly say that I love my boyfriend. I can honestly admit that I have never feel so much loved before him. However, I am not happy because my family been criticising him in the past few months. His business went down pretty bad. M...

A.   10 September 2011: Well you need to be firm with him and tell him you want to break up. You also need to put your family straight and tell them to stop criticising. It seems that he has a lot on his plate as it is and he needs time to concentrate on his own prob... (read in full...)

*helaird1's friends

These are mutual friends, so *helaird1 has added them and they have added *helaird1!

angelDlite agony auntangelDlite
CaringGuy agony auntCaringGuy
cheers agony auntcheers
ChristinaMaeMurphy agony auntChristinaMaeMurphy
Kirstyteenauntireland agony auntKirstyteenauntireland
Steelhawk65 agony auntSteelhawk65
totalconfusion agony aunttotalconfusion

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0936774000001606!