A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do I do? My best buddy's ex girlfriend is in love with me. I think she dumped him so she could be with me! The catch is, I actually really like her! But, I also like my best friend (not in a gay way of course). Idk what to do? She wants me to go to her horse show this Saturday, I was thinking of going. To be honest, I always could tell she had a thing for me when all 3 of us would hang out. What's yall's opinions?
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female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Going with a friend's ex is bad but going with a best friends ex is just not cool. Even if he says its ok, I doubt you'll still be best friends. I'll pass on this one.
A
male
reader, Thelaird1  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 I'm with claraw1 on this one.
You need to sit and explain the situation to your friend and see how he feels about it. Even if he hates it, he will respect you more for it.
He may suggest that you date her, but will still hurt him.
This is only a choice you can make, but I would seek your friends approval first
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Some guys wouldn't have a problem with a friend dating their ex and some would. How well do you know your friend? If you have to choose make sure you think about it it good and hard.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): I think you have to make a choice ... you really need to give up any idea you can do this with all 3 of you remaining as is ... it's either you and the girl (as a couple) or you and your best friend (remaining mates). The question you probably need to ask is who do you see yourself with still in 5-10 years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): This is tough because on the one hand your relationship with your friend is very important. It is important to have good friends. On the other hand you never know where love might come from, but sometimes you need to know when to pass on a person due to circumstance.The first thing I would say is: were they intimate together (physically,) because I believe there is a big difference between just dating someone vs. intimate. If they were, it may be harder for your friend to deal with the fact that she moved on with you.The second thing is: how hard did your friend take it when she broke up with him? If he took it really hard, then that's not a good sign. If it was a messy break-up that means possible drama.The last thing is: how would you feel if you had a girl dump you and then suddenly date your friend? Put the shoe on the other foot. Before going to her horse show or taking any steps toward a relationship, you should at least let him know and see what he says. Let him know you understand he might be uncomfortable and his friendship is important. That's really the only way to know for sure what he will think in the end.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 I think before doing anything you should talk to your best friend and see what he says. Then you can decide whether it will affect your friendship with him if you get involved with his ex, and you can at least be informed before you make any decisions. Some people couldn't care less, and some see it as a betrayal, find out how your friend would see it and take it from there if you want to. That is what I would do anyway, in the end it's up to you though.
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