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... Send *unandstars a private message | | | *unandstars's profile:I started answering questions on this site because I like to help others with their problems. I am 16, therefore I only answer teenage questions, as I feel adults would feel quite embarrassed if they were being advised by a 'child'. When answering, I go for the brutally honest approach, this may sometimes be harsh, but I am a strong believer in honesty, and I know I wouldn't want to be lied to or tricked if I was asking for advice. I tend to also ask questions in my answers, simply to get the writer to think and perhaps come up with their own solutions rather than relying on the thoughts of others which could hinder rather than help their situation, I always think the writing is not the full extent of the story and provoking thoughts is the best method of advice. |
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| Latest articles: Where have all the genuine people gone?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 June 2011: So I clicked article just above the box I'm currently writing in, I believe RANT is the more appropriate word, but it's the nearest thing. So recently, over the past few months, I've noticed a huge change in a LOT of people. I don't know whether ...
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Boyfriend taking advantage of me being jealous!
Q. i am 13 and my bf is 14. im a very jealous person but my bf seems to be taking advantage of this, one day he came out of lesson telling me how big this other girls breasts are and her bra size. he has done this to me with many girls on many dif...
A. 19 February 2011: He could be doing this because he's a very insecure person himself, he most likely does it to make himself feel better, he thinks he looks 'cool' because he knows their bra size. No matter how hard it is you do need to talk to him about your ... (read in full...)
How do I hold hands with my shy boyfriend for the first time?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost two months now, and we haven't held hands and we've only hugged once. We are both very shy, me especially, and he's very hard to read. I would really like to hold hands, hug, or cuddle with him; but ...
A. 17 February 2011: Ahhh, this sounds so familiar! I've been in EXACTLY the same position except that I'd had the odd boyfriend before so I decided that he wasn't comfortable with making the first move so I would. Basically we were walking next to each other, and I ... (read in full...)
Text fling!!!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years ish now and no matter how much I moan about him or our little arguments I love him to bits and the thought of having to be without him kills me. He has a group of friends we all go out every other week...
A. 13 February 2011: Yes, you should definitely tell him, he will appreciate your honesty, just say, 'I have something I need to tell you, I'm going to be completely honest because I don't want you to find out from someone else',you said it wasn't serious so you can ... (read in full...)
What kind of things do high school boys look for in a girl?
Q. What kind of things do high school boys like in a girl for them to like that girl? Do they need to look, act, and dress in a certain way for that guy to like them? Is it better to try and be their friend first? But more importantly, what kind of ...
A. 13 February 2011: I don't think girls need to dress in a certain way to impress the guys, as long as you don't dress so appallingly that you would embarrass them in public, some guys like a girl who is fashionable and 'follows the crowd', while others will like a ... (read in full...)
Drunken mistake or fate?
Q. Okay so I'm stuck. I got with my ex Tyrone about two and a half years ago. We didn't go to th same school but we made sure we saw eachothrr at least twice a week. We weren't exactly. Comfortable around eachothrr but we really cared for eachothrr. We ...
A. 11 January 2011: You need to take a break with Alfie, and just clear your head. Give some serious thought to who you want, who has the best qualities etc. Maybe you'd be better off alone? Just try get both of them out of your head and just sort your thoughts out. ... (read in full...)
He thinks I will never be interested in him and he just wants to be friends, but this is not the case at all! What should I do?
Q. I love a guy very much...but actually he is not interested in relationships love and all..he is happy single...he just talks to me as he think im very unique and i will never be interested in him...on the contrary, im really very mad at him..and ...
A. 11 January 2011: You should tell hit your feelings yes. He may say he doesn't like you either but you're hiding your feelings, so it's quite possible he's hiding his too. It's not certain he does feel the same way, but there's no harm in letting him know how you ... (read in full...)
Is he only using me for sex?
Q. okk this is kinda a hard topic for me to talk about and iv asked al my friends and they have all said to just leave him.. but i realy like this guy but the problem is, is that im only just turned 17 and hes nearly 20 and asian so his family d...
A. 3 January 2011: To be perfectly honest with you, he doesn't sound like the kind of person who you'd want to have a serious relationship with if he does drugs and drinks a lot etc, and he definitely doesn't sound like the kind of person who could father a child, so ... (read in full...)
I get attached too easily!
Q. I like someone a lot but I notice that I think about him too much. I notice that when I like someone I get attached easily and it is hard for me to keep my options open. I am young and I want to be able to stay single to stay focused on my career ...
A. 3 January 2011: I don't think it's possible to control your feelings if you like someone you're talking to, and I think if you have enough self control you can still focus on your career goals, provding your partner understands this. After all, if it's going to be ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be boyfriend has no friends?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a very close friend and we hve great chemistry. He has liked me for a while now he said, and he would love to go out with me. I told him I'd think about it, but I'm sure I'll say yes because he is such a great funny and cute ...
A. 31 December 2010: I don't think him not having any friends is an issue, as you say he has people to hang out with, however if he starts overcrowding your life then talk to him about it. If you are going to be in a serious relationship then you should be his first ... (read in full...)
Can you help me with advice on whether to keep trying or not?
Q. First of all sorry for this being long. Basically about just over a year ago now this boy added me on facebook, we became really good mates, and exchanged numbers. Then we used to text, go on msn and facebook to each other a lot. Then i was in hi...
A. 22 December 2010: If he's faithful to his on-off girlfriend, he's probably not interested in you, and doesn't the fact that he was 'ill' yet you saw him out later tell you something? He doesn't want to be with you, he was saying he was ill to get out of it. I'm sorry ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend abusive???
Q. My boyfriend and have been dating for amost a month, we talked for 4 months before dating. My boyfriend and I are both sixteen... I would say my boyfriend and I are a lot more mature than most our age, being that we have both been through a lot. So ...
A. 19 December 2010: I don't think anyone would stoop low enough to lie about having sex with him, atleast she had the decency to tell you, it's obvious your relationship is over, he just had sex with another girl. Just think about it...... (read in full...)
Will she still have thoughts about me?
Q. I'm in love with a girl for 2.5 years, but she is attached with her bf for about 5 years now. Initially, she didn't like me but after a year, she started having feelings for me because her bf is emotionally abusive and very possessive too and she ...
A. 19 December 2010: I think you can just live in hope. She is obviously trapped in her abusive relationship and you cannot do anything until the door is released. You are evidently a much better boyfriend but you are just going to have to wait. Hope this helps.... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend abusive???
Q. My boyfriend and have been dating for amost a month, we talked for 4 months before dating. My boyfriend and I are both sixteen... I would say my boyfriend and I are a lot more mature than most our age, being that we have both been through a lot. So ...
A. 19 December 2010: I don't think is particularly normal behaviour no, but I wouldn't call it abuse- yet. If you're feeling
uncomfortable in your relationship and he is saying horrible things and forcing to you to have sex you should tell him how you feel, alth... (read in full...)
Should I date him instead of just being his FB?
Q. Soo I have been having sex with this guy like every weekend .. And he's not my boyfriend like we are kinda like fuck buddies I guess but we only knew each other for like a couple weeks or like idk a month but the second night we met we were like ...
A. 19 December 2010: It doesn't seem there's any real bond between you two, you're just using each other for sex because you don't have anyone else to do it with. I think you could date him if you created a good relationship, but don't do it just because you feel it's ... (read in full...)
Miss my high school teacher so much...
Q. I was in love with one of my high school teachers last year (my senior year) and I am in college now, far from home. I still think about him and I was going to visit him at school before the Christmas break. I don't know if he knows how I feel about ...
A. 19 December 2010: To be honest I think you should stop thinking about this teacher, he is massively older than you and most likely not interested in you. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you really should move on and find someone your own age.... (read in full...)
Close friends... but I think I love him...
Q. So I have a best guy friend that I have always loved ever since I can remember. The day we met I knew there was something different about him that I liked. He was sad at a party- we were complete strangers- and I went to cheer him up despite all my ...
A. 19 December 2010: It seems you have a very good frienship and seems to have all the qualities for the perfect boyfriend, you should definitly go for it! Although you say you think we will feel you're to young to to know what love is I don't agree with you, you sound ... (read in full...)
How can I ask a girl out without leaving any room for her to back out of the date?
Q. In short, there has been a girl I've known for a long time and I've been wanting to ask her out for a while. However, with me, and as well as other guys, she's been known to back out of a date for any reason, and number one is for "being swamped". ...
A. 19 December 2010: It sounds like this girl was probably just didn't like these guys but didn't want to hurt them so said yes to the date and then made up an excuse, so in response to your question, you can't really do anything, it seems that if she likes you she'll ... (read in full...)
I just cheated on my boyfriend and didn't feel guilty!
Q. I am in so much trouble. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and everything is great. We love each other and I really don't want to lose him. But there's this other guy who likes me. I ignored him at first but now I'm actually interested in him ...
A. 19 December 2010: To be completely and utterly honest, you don't sound like the most loving and faithful girlfriend. If you truly loved your boyfriend as you described you wouldn't even think about having feelings for other guys and you certainly wouldn't make out ... (read in full...)
17 and not interested in sex any more??? What is wrong with me???
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for just under 2 years, I'm 17 turning 18 and shes 16, for a while now we've been sexually active, which is great but lately I've put no effort into it and don't even think about sex which is really strange for me ...
A. 19 December 2010: You're most likely just going through a 'stage' and it will recover eventually. For now though, I think you should atleast pretend to be interested and be bothered for the sake of your girlfriend because you obviously don't want to lose her, ... (read in full...)
Where is our two week relationship going? I need advice please
Q. It's a bit long winded, but please bear with me, am in serious need of advice. I've known the guy I like (maybe love) for about thirteen years. He's always been nice but the past year (since we both started college) we've got much closer and I real...
A. 18 December 2010: I think you should let your relationship develop further, I have been in a kind of similar situation where I was best friends with this guy but really was confused about whether I liked him or not, and I found time was the best healer for this, I ... (read in full...)
Sometimes it just feels like he's too mature...
Q. hey everyone, i'm on my friend's account, so i'm not 16. i am 14, and a freshman in high school. Let me set the scenes here: i started dating a sophomore in august, and we fell in love almost instantly. I fell for his 'badboy' black-clothes, ...
A. 18 December 2010: If he really loved you and you completely trust him, you would be able to tell him straight that you think it's going to fast and he would accept it and slow down for you. If he doesn't do this or you feel you don't trust him enough to tell him ... (read in full...)
Is he wanting to remain friends or try again?
Q. Please take the time to read this as you need the full details to understand. thanks for any advice in advance x :) x It started about 6 months ago when a guy (Ethan who was 17 and a virgin) approached me on holiday, we got to know each-other ...
A. 18 December 2010: It seems to me Ethan is regretting what he did and has matured in his mind and realised you actually mean a lot to him. He sounds like a decent person so it would be alright for you to give it another go, just be careful and if you find any signs ... (read in full...)
It's growing pretty fast down there, do I need to shave?
Q. hey everybody, i have a question that I feel to embarrassed to ask anybody else in person so i'm wondering if you could help? Im 14 and down below is growing fast.. I'm going to a party soon and wearing a really short skirt so was wondering what is ...
A. 18 December 2010: I don't really understand why you need to shave to wear a short skirt, are you planning on getting that physical with someone or not wearing any underwear? You don't need to worry about it really but if it really's bothering you shave, just be ... (read in full...)
I only know her through Facebook but I'm in love with her!
Q. I am 16 years old and I love a 15 year old girl. I don't know her only I know her on Facebook and she is living in US. I told her that I love her. but she says "Now, I am not thinking about love, so I can't reply to you." and you are saying this ...
A. 18 December 2010: To be honest, I think you should stop talking to this girl, it's unrealistic that you can have a relationship as you don't live in the same country and she could have a fake ID on facebook, it's not a safe environment for relationships and ... (read in full...)
One of my boyfriend's mates is my ex
Q. i know ive been with my bf for almost 2 months now..... and because i hang round with his m8s.....one of his mates is one of my ex..... im kinda gettin a feelin im likein him again ( my ex) but i dont want to to split up with my bf and i no i ...
A. 17 December 2010: Well he has a right to be suspicious if you're flirting, I always feel if you truly love someone you wouldn't have feelings for someone else. You have to choose one of the two, keep your boyfriend and stay away from the other guy or dump your ... (read in full...)
He told me I was pretty then he ran off?
Q. So i have liked this guy for awhile now. And my friends say he likes me but idk. I want other people advice too. This is what he USE TO DO he used to talk 2 me all the time and tease me. But then one day he said i think your pretty and then ran off. ...
A. 17 December 2010: It seems like he's embarrassed, he was probably very very nervous about telling you how he felt if you were his first 'love'. He probably stares at you trying to work out how you feel or he could just be a freak/stalker. It's up to you if you want ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I never wanted my love life to be this difficult!!
Q. Hey guys and gals hey guys i have a girl friend we love each other so much but my feelings for her have dimmed recently... you see last week i meet this girl at fencing we talked and surprisingly we had a lot in common we liked reading and enjo...
A. 17 December 2010: You should never be dealing with two girls at one time, get one out of the picture before dealing with the other. If you're going to get with the girl at fencing try to break up with your girlfriend before you get with the other girl and give your ... (read in full...)
Which guy do I pick?
Q. I think i like two guys at once, help! One of them i have just met recently, and we are almost officially going out. The other one is one of my best guy friends. We all go to different schools, so they dont know each other, but my friend knows about ...
A. 17 December 2010: Well I don't think you should get together with either of them if you have feelings for the other one, however if you decide you definitely don't have feelings for the other one you should go for the one that treats you best and makes you feel good. ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, he's 18..is it a good idea to date?
Q. Okay so this is considered wrong sometimes i guess. Okay so im 14 and I am going to be quite honest the guy i like 18 and he likes me to. My issue i giess is what other people say about it? In the State of Indiana i know that if someone has sex with ...
A. 17 December 2010: I don't think there would be anything wrong with you two getting together if you both like each other, you just need to be certain that he likes you and isn't going to play you around. However, I don't think sex between you two is a good option ... (read in full...)
It was our secret relationship and now I don't know what to do
Q. what should i do if i was dating this guy and i didnt tell my friend that we were dating and she starts to like him and i try to get them together knowing me and me and him flirt all the time and i stop it a lot and the last time he said f*Ck it and ...
A. 17 December 2010: You sound like you need some help but your question and situation aren't very clear so could you write back with some more information and I'd love to help you.... (read in full...)
I want this guy back in my life but I don't know how to resolve this and I'm filled with anxiety over this problem
Q. I can't forget about this guy I was friends with; it's been months but I still cry over him. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him, but I've been in a situation where I'm not around people and my social anxiety has become so bad I have trouble ...
A. 17 December 2010: Maybe you should talk to this person and try to make friends again, but I don't know what's gone on between you so I don't know how easy this would be, could you give me some more information? I've been in a similar situation, I went out with this ... (read in full...)
Why can't I be with the girl that I love?
Q. Why can't I be with the girl that I love? People always say no pain no gain but how much pain I have to go through. I seriously had enough pain and I am too tired to continue. I have loved two girls so far at different time. I spent 15 month...
A. 17 December 2010: You shoudln't feel pressured to be a certain way to impress a girl, so don't change, the right girl will love you for you. I think you should move on from these two girls and wait for someone new. In response to your final question, I have tried ... (read in full...)
I think his ex is sending me text messages to keep away pretending to be HIM!
Q. About 2 years ago i met this guy through mutual friends and he immediately showed an interest in me and started messaging me, having got my number from one of my friends. I wasnt interested whatsoever as i was at a stage of my life where i didnt ...
A. 17 December 2010: It doesn't sound like his relationship with his ex girlfriend because he doesn't sound like a nice person to be honest. Chances are he's the same with everyone so it will be an on off relationship. Hope this answers your question.
... (read in full...)
I feel so strongly about him...
Q. I met this boy and the moment I saw him I was totally head over heals!! I'm NOT kidding. I knew he was a great catch, I just instantly feel something. I slipped my phone number is his jacket when it was hanging up, and eventually we got to ...
A. 17 December 2010: I think you might be wrong this time. This guy you feel so strongly about has a girlfriend, and your actions suggest you forgot this? Fair enough, he's in the wrong too for kissing you etc, but you shouldn't encourage it further. You have to think ... (read in full...)
Love me or hate me. Just don't leave me hanging.
Q. Okay, I'm sort of confused here. a while ago, I had a very short relationship with a guy. story goes, he liked me, I liked him, we both found out and he asked me out, and I felt sparks fly. he didn't though. a couple short days later, lik...
A. 15 December 2010: Okay, so you two have obviously been through a lot, but you seemed to have resolved it, I think he does like you, some guys think that doing things like you've said he's done impress girls, but evidently actually give the wrong impression. You say ... (read in full...)
Should I go back and try to find him?
Q. My freshman year of high school, I met a really nice senior boy and a few of his friends. I suffered from extremely low-self esteem, and I think that what they did was to make me feel welcome. I would hide in the bathroom stalls during lunch time, ...
A. 15 December 2010: You obviously have very strong feelings for Tim if you still think about him now, nearly three years on. I think you should go back and find him because if he's the one you're going to majorly regret it if you don't go find him, because, like you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has stopped replying to my texts!
Q. My boyfriend stop replying my text since like 2 days ago. I dont know why he stop replying me. We didnt quarrel when we last text each other. I didnt say anything to piss him off. I have texted him yesterday and today asking why hasnt he reply. I ...
A. 15 December 2010: Perhaps he has no credit, or his phone has died and he can't find his charger, or he's lost it or has had it taken off him, or maybe your phone isn't working properly? It's most likely to just be one of these reasons, maybe you could give him a ... (read in full...)
Why do I get mad at my boyfriend so much?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now but I always get mad at him like every day!! He tells me you need to stop tripping before I leave you I trip because he always prefers other people than to see me and it gets me soo mad! I love ...
A. 15 December 2010: Perhaps you are spending too much time with your boyfriend, sometimes if you're with someone too much you find you have nothing left to talk about so you end up arguing, I find this happens sometimes. So perhaps you shouldn't spend quite as much ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to say to him or even about how I feel!
Q. In my group of friends I am normally the one that sorts out the problems but I will be the first to admit that I am rubbish at solving my own. Mainly because I think it takes someone with a clear head and someone that doesn't know you personally ...
A. 15 December 2010: I feel I can help you greatly with your problem out of personal experience. So I was best friends with this guy, I knew he liked me a lot, but I tried to ignore it because I just wanted to be friends. Anyway, we became closer and closer, and one day ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time thinking that she's been with someone else...
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating 2 years, and are in love. I was the first guy she had sex with and she was the first one i had sex with, and this was always really special to me. Recently she told me she was raped when she was 15 and was ...
A. 15 December 2010: You should support your girlfriend, she hasn't done anything wrong if she was raped, it was forced upon her, she didn't want to. She most likely doesn't like thinking about being with someone in 'that way' as much as you don't, so try and forget it, ... (read in full...)
Been lying to everyone I care about my job
Q. I've been lying to everyone about what I do for work. Not where I work but my position. I've told everyone my position is slightly above what it is. It's my first full time job out of uni and it's really down the bottom of the barrell and I th...
A. 19 April 2010: You shouldn't be ashamed, it's is hard to get a good job at the moment with the recession and whatnot. You should open up to your family, friends and boyfriend before they find out, it's better to admit you lied before you get loads more accusations ... (read in full...)
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