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Love me or hate me. Just don't leave me hanging.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 December 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Okay, I'm sort of confused here.

a while ago, I had a very short relationship with a guy.

story goes, he liked me, I liked him, we both found out and he asked me out, and I felt sparks fly.

he didn't though.

a couple short days later, like 5 of them, he dumped me because he" didn't want a girlfriend." though I was heartbroken, I tried to keep it in, because I was scared (since the relationship didn't last long) tht peole would think I was being a wuss about it. I tried to act okay, and I smiled and laughed around him, as if nothing had ever happened. but on the inside I was really upset.

later on, maybe a week later, he told me flat out that he liked someone else... one of his ex's an also one of my friends. I didn't understand why he would tell me this, but I was more upset that he, "didn't want a girlfriend" yet he was interested in another girl.  this made me sort of mad at him, and began a big... rivalry between us...  sort of.

but it has been a long time since he told me that, an he's told me multiple times he doesn't even like her anymore. and she had told me they got in a big fight.

I guess you could call it a love-hate relationship. I love to hate him, I hate to love him. but I also love to love him, and hate to hate him. it's horribly confusing, and I never thought I could like someone so much, while at the same time, disliking him so much. the kid drives me insane!

we have faught and made up so many times, I lost count. we torment each other. sometimes in a playful way, and sometimes in a malicious way. other times, he so nice and sweet, and we have good conversations.

we have so much in common, no lie. we look alike, and act the same, have a lot of the same interests and wants for life. sometimes I wonder of we're too alike, and that's where things start to clash. he's absolutely perfect for me, and everything I ever dreamed of in a guy, except that he's the biggest jerk in the world! and not just to me. to others too.

but for some crazy reason, I can't get over this kid! right now, he thinks I like someone else, because he was guessing, and I said yes to a guy that I liked a little tiny bit back then. but not really anymore.

so a while ago, he tol me he would stop being mean to me, if I would stop. we both agreed, and he was very happy about it, and so was I. and now we sort of talk like normal people, with a few rude comments, and awkward moments thrown in. it's not as bad as before, but I can easily, with out a doubt say that he still hates me a bit, and I still hate him a bit. but I like him too. I don't know how he feels about me. I just get this crazy feeling when we fight, and also just when we talk. it's a rush, like being on the up-side-down part of a roller coaster. and I love every second of it. it's intense.

I want to know how he feels about me! it almost seem like he likes me, but then he says something, or makes fun of me, and all my hope is lost. we text, and we talk, I feel like he understands the hardships I've been through. an I try to let him know that I understand too, because I can really relate to some of what he tells me he goes through. when he messed up big time, and feels guilty, I try to take his side, and show him why what he did wasn't so bad, and try to make him feel better. because for some reason, I want more than anything for him to be happy, though sometimes I think he deserves what ever he gets when he messes up, because I think he needs to learn somethings about being nicer.

so I was looking for advice in what I should do, maybe to get him to like me again? also, why on earth do I like someone who drives me crazy like this, and is so rude?! also, maybe something to stop him from being so rude. because he needs to learn, and he would be perfect if he just changed that one little thing! 

thanks to whoever took the time to read this!! I know it's super long! and feedback would be greatly appreciated! 

View related questions: heartbroken, his ex, spark, text

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A female reader, sunandstars United Kingdom +, writes (15 December 2010):

Okay, so you two have obviously been through a lot, but you seemed to have resolved it, I think he does like you, some guys think that doing things like you've said he's done impress girls, but evidently actually give the wrong impression. You say you're perfect for each other, so if the good is overpowering the bad then maybe you should give it another go, but if he starts being rude and being how you don't want him to be, end it - everything's worth a try, because you can always learn from things that go wrong!

Hope this helps,

sunandstars

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010):

~THE MOST EXTREME SIDES OF THE SPECTRUM~

You both stand at the opposite sides of the spectrum, rendering you both indestructible to those in between.

You both are unbendable in the conviction that molds you.

Vulnerability is the only weakness that can threaten your convictions...so...you both tread most carefully with trust...as no one can be more trustworthy than you.

It's a spar...neither willing to trust his conviction in the hand of the other...

He has what you want...and...you have what he wants...BUT...how can you trust he won't simultaneously relinguish his conviction in fair?

There is a thin line between love and hate...Are you two willing to trust and exchange in fair...security for loyalty...loyalty for security?

~ALPHA and OMEGA~

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