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Can you help me with advice on whether to keep trying or not?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *loveyhoo writes:

First of all sorry for this being long.

Basically about just over a year ago now this boy added me on facebook, we became really good mates, and exchanged numbers. Then we used to text, go on msn and facebook to each other a lot. Then i was in his home town once and i was in a shop with my friend and i saw him walk in with two girls, but because i ahd never ever seen him face to face let alone speak on the phone i panicked and dragged my friend out of the shop. Then later on that day when i was on the bus back to my town we got texting and i told him that i saw him that day.

A couple of months later we got really close, i used to always ask him for advice, and the same for him. We kept saying we needed to meet up but never did. Then my feelings started. I started liking him on and off. Then like 10 months later after he first added me on facebook he admitted to me that he liked me a bit, and we were planning on meeting up.

Then the next month for my birthday me and some friends went down to his town, and he knew i was going down but we never arranged to meet up, although i knew where he was, then I think i saw him walk out but he went over to a lot of people and i was too shy to go and say hi.

Then we just carried on texting then a month later i actually went with some friends to go and see him. He was like 2 hours late, but he showed up, but the thing i was drunk and i couldnt look at him in the face properly without laughing. Then like 5minutes later he turned round to me and said go home!

We got into a big argument through text that night and the next couple of days but soon overcame it. Then we just carried on talking on the phone and texting a lot. Then I went to meet him the other day again, and he was really ill and couldnt come out, then about an hour before i was going to go home i saw him with some people, and he came over and spoke to me for a bit whilst his other friends left. Then we walked for a bit, then there was a massive group of his mates and we went over to them, then i went away for 5mins and he knew i was gone, and by the time i came back he was gone! But that got all sorted out because when i later spoke to him that night, i found out the reason why.

The thing is which im trying to say is that, ive fallen really hard for this boy! He helped me get through so much, and i used to trust him so much, but the amount hes put me through. By the way he has had a girlfriend for like the whole time ive known him but its been on and off. But hes put me through so much, and i still find it in my heart to forgive him its just i cant gte over him. Im really stuck with what to do because either way i cant win. I cant move on because hes on my mind 24/7 , and i dont think i can cope. but i dont think theres any point in trying to make an effort with him because its just not working, and hes put me in such an awkward position i have no idea what to do. He doesnt know i like him but its kind of obvious. Its jsut I really want things to go well in my lfie for once, and i thought this was going to be it, but i just dont know what to do anymore. I honestly think im falling in love with him!

I have no idea what to do , can you help me with advice on whether to keep trying or not? Because either way its going to be hard, especially getting over him?

View related questions: drunk, exchanged numbers, facebook, move on, msn, shy, text

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A male reader, Cgblake487 United States +, writes (22 December 2010):

Just keep at it. I know that shyness can be troublesome, but the rewards are much better than the risks. Go for it, and have faith.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010):

This is the problem with FB, texting, you can think you are in some sort of relationship when infact its all in the web world. Basically, apart from your contact over the internet etc you don't really know him beyond these fleeting moments with groups of friends. And he has a girlfriend. You have fallen for someone who can only break your heart. By the way, you won't want to hear this I know, but getting yourself drunk is bound to lead to all sorts of unintended consequences. When there was a chance to talk to him, you were drunk and he obviously didn't think much of that. Don't drink alcohol at your age. I don't want to sound harsh. When you are hopefully a sophisicated girl in your 20s you'll know what I mean. Be kind to yourself. Forget this boy and set about enjoying the life with or without a boyfriend.

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A female reader, sunandstars United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2010):

If he's faithful to his on-off girlfriend, he's probably not interested in you, and doesn't the fact that he was 'ill' yet you saw him out later tell you something? He doesn't want to be with you, he was saying he was ill to get out of it. I'm sorry that this is so harsh, but it doesn't seem that he's very interested, or he would have made a move by now, there's better guys out there.

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