| Latest articles: Why family should not offer idealised sex education, and instead offer realistic, non-rose-tinted sex education
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
2 June 2015: I was brought up by my happily married parents. Although my Dad is more awkward, my mum has always been pretty candid about sex. There was no big "talk" when I turned thirteen. More simply, as a child I was always able to ask whatever I wante...
Teenagers and sex--the stress is almost unbearable!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 May 2011: I have some thoughts I’d like to share with you guys about the sexual pressure young people are under. I appreciate that I’m only speaking for myself, and most of my points will be drawn from my personal experience, but any opinions and feedback ...
Let's Define ":Love" and Having a "Crush"!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 August 2009: I am writing this article because I think that the term "love" is fast becoming meaningless. The word gets thrown around by so many people, teenagers in particular, and crushes are being labelled as Love, and are therefore getting blown way out of ...
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Should I try and resolve this, try and save our relationship?
Q. Right, I'm asking this out of desperation. My relationship is falling apart. I'm sixteen and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 3 months, and suddenly things are crumbling and changing so fast. I don't know what to do. Things are really ...
A. 6 July 2011: Thank you all so much for the responses, can't tell you how much I appreciated it. We broke up today. A painful but simple mutual end. I'm hurting of course but it's the right thing to do, in the end we were both unhappy so what's the point ... ... (read in full...)
He's awesome and I'm really not; what should I do? Should I try to become as good as him?
Q. I'm going out with this guy, and we're happy and it's all hunky dory, except... He gets good grades, and can play a bunch of different instruments, and knows a bunch of languages fluently, and he's good at art, and is a black belt in karate and a ...
A. 10 June 2011: Aww bless you ... reading this made me a little sad. It sounds like you have a very low opinion of yourself, which you need to work on! Yes, so this guy is amazing. He's good at so much, he's attractive. And he wanted YOU! So I'm guessing you must ... (read in full...)
How do I get through the next 3 months?
Q. Hey all, i really need some advice, my partner of 4 and a half months left 2 days ago to stay with his father for 3 months to work.(were both 21 by the way) me and him are used to the distance as we live 85 miles apart as it is and go anything...
A. 10 June 2011: Mmm, three months is a while; I appreciate it'll be difficult. The most obvious answer is that you keep busy. Obvious as it is, it will help. Take up a new hobby, or plunge into your current ones; go out with friends, focus on your work, whatever. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gags when she give me a handjob!
Q. hi their this is my problem. My girlfriend has a really bad gag reflex so blow jobs are out of the question witch is cool with me cause i respect and love her. But over the past couple of months she gags when giving me a hand job. And well its ...
A. 9 June 2011: This may not apply to your girlfriend at all, but I'd like to suggest it just in case :) - You call her gagging a "reflex". Do you know WHY she gags? Is it purely, as you say, a reflex - like when she goes to the dentist or whatever? Or doe... (read in full...)
How do I get over my crush on my teacher?
Q. help!!! i need help getting over my teacher.... right well hes my music teacher and i have had a huge crush since he came my school 4 years ago. i know nothing can ever happen because hes my teacher and i am his pupil and hes 29 years old, i am ...
A. 9 June 2011: Hi :) I spent over a year struggling with feelings for one of my teachers. I won't go into any details, but I genuinely thought I wouldn't get over it. I didn't think I'd be able to come through it, and I had no idea how to move on. But I did. As I ... (read in full...)
Can this be resolved?
Q. Hi, I apologise that this long, so thankyou in advance if you read it all. Right, my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 7 months now, and recently things have been going downhill, as he suddenly came out with something I wasn't ...
A. 3 June 2011: You're very welcome, it's nice to know I helped :) Yeah keeping friends close is very important. Don't let phrases like "in a perfect relationship your partner is also your best friend" sway you - that is true to an extent but to be honest a person ... (read in full...)
Can this be resolved?
Q. Hi, I apologise that this long, so thankyou in advance if you read it all. Right, my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 7 months now, and recently things have been going downhill, as he suddenly came out with something I wasn't ...
A. 3 June 2011: Hey :) I'm the same age and have been with my boyfriend for a similar time period so I can identify with you. I think the thing is that sixteen is actually pretty young to have a long-standing relationship. It's around this age that people change ... (read in full...)
How can I stop this "urge"?
Q. This is a really weird thing to ask and talk about to me but how do you stop an "urge" to want to have sex. I went to my BF's house the other day and he said that he wanted to do something to make me happy and kept saying a bunch of other thi...
A. 2 June 2011: The urges you're getting are normal, it's nothing to worry about. Perhaps it feels strange because you've never had it before, it's a new experience..?
As for stopping them, it's about being rational and having some self control. You're fifteen ... (read in full...)
Unsure of his feelings for me......
Q. I am uncertain about some things, i have this crush on one of my guy friends. I have known him for almost half a year and we were so close that we confide in each other about our problems. We would always talk when we get the chance and we even chat ...
A. 2 June 2011: Well, the most obvious solution is to just ask him and find out where you stand. But that's a pretty daunting thing to do and if I were you I wouldn't want to!
Perhaps you could talk to a close friend of his to try and find out how he feels? O... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend!
Q. I'm in love with my boyfriends best friend! I've been with my fella for just under 2 years now. I fell head over heels for him, everything was perfect. Then it started going down hill when my brother passed away, I felt so alone I couldn't talk to ...
A. 2 June 2011: "I can't leave my boyfriend as he is the sweetest person in the world" ... well, I'm afraid it's a bit late. I'm sorry but if you think that then you shouldn't be cheating on him with his best mate. You said yourself he's already had "a shit year... (read in full...)
I want to do something for him to show him how much I love and appreciate him...Advice?
Q. Hey guys - I need some ideas for something special I can do for my boyfriend. We're both sixteen and have been together a long while; we're happy I guess but recently it hasn't been quite so ... I dunno, nothing's wrong but I think we've been a bit ...
A. 30 May 2011: Thank you both for the suggestions! And to duckyhelp, I did actually make him a scrapbook for our anniversary (tonnes of photos all printed and captioned in order like you said. It was all beautifully decorated and stuff too.) He absolutely adored ... (read in full...)
I hate myself. How can I fix this?
Q. I feel stupid. In theory, I have a great life. I have a good, loving family, a good home, money, some great friends, I do well at school, going to university next year and I'm generally a healthy person with a lot to give. But I hate myself. I know...
A. 19 November 2009: Urgh, this sounds familiar. I’m genuinely sorry – I know how difficult total lack of confidence is. I’m not sure how useful my advice will be, since I think it’s kind of an issue you have to overcome yourself – but of course I’ll do my best. :-)
Y... (read in full...)
Can you give me some suggestions on how to speak to a boy?
Q. hey :) i am 15 years old i am a female in an all girls school. My frineds say i am stunnin,buubly,outgoign,funny,georgeou but there is just one thing ! i have never had a boyfreind i know its probably the stupidust (dont know how to sp...
A. 20 September 2009: Hiya :-) Well, for starters it's not bad or unusual to have not had a bf at 15. But if it bothers you, hopefully this will help a bit? x
If you're in an all-girls school, then it's a bit harder to meet people I guess. Can you kind of be intr... (read in full...)
I'm definite proof that nice guys finish last
Q. OK, so I've asked questions on here before, got some advice, but a year on, I'm still in exactly the same situation. I'm now 25, and still never had a date. Never had a girl say yes when I've asked her out, or don't think there's ever been a girl ...
A. 13 September 2009: Hi :)
I agree with pinktopaz, but I have some points of my own as well.
Firstly, how do you KNOW no girl has ever had feelings for you? They won't all go shouting about it, you know. There's probably someone who has secret feelings for you right no... (read in full...)
How do I get over him? I've been in love with him for nearly a year now and the feelings are not going away!
Q. Hey there, I'm 16 years old, and have been 'in love' with this previous teacher of mine for nearly a year now. We flirted like hell (he was only 24) and ended up liking each other a lot. He promised me he'd come back to see me (he was from...
A. 27 August 2009: No problem :D thanks for the response, hope you feel better soon :D and, like I said, I'm here if you want/need someone to talk to about this :-) xxx... (read in full...)
How do I get over him? I've been in love with him for nearly a year now and the feelings are not going away!
Q. Hey there, I'm 16 years old, and have been 'in love' with this previous teacher of mine for nearly a year now. We flirted like hell (he was only 24) and ended up liking each other a lot. He promised me he'd come back to see me (he was from...
A. 26 August 2009: Hello :) I am genuinely sorry to hear how hard this is for you. I haven't been in your situation specifically, but I know all too well what loving a teacher for a long time is like. Fortunately my teacher is still around though! So, I can only beg... (read in full...)
I like Ricky..but Trey asked me out! what should I do?
Q. So there is the guy, we shall call him Ricky, I am hanging out with. As Ricky explains it and it did start off that way, but now its changed. We are still hanging out, but when we do...we don't act like just friends. We stand there and he will hold ...
A. 26 August 2009: Aww, that's really sweet, glad it worked out well :D xxx... (read in full...)
Is my dad forgetting about me?
Q. hi there, my dad and his ex girlfriend were together for 10 years they met when i was 5 and im now 15, and now he has a new girlfriend i hardly ever see him anymore, like he is going to the V festival with her and her family and when i asked if...
A. 22 August 2009: Hey :)
Aww, I'm sorry about what's happening. That must hurt.
Of course, it's understandable and certainly isn't your fault that you feel pushed away. But try not to let it get to you too much. His new girlfriend probably feels like a novelty,... (read in full...)
I can't sleep or breath without her!
Q. I dont really know how to go about this, but I'm going to try and explain. This will sound cheesy and overused, but I'm madly and hopelessly in love with my teacher. It's been almost a year now and I can't see anything improving. I hate the use o...
A. 22 August 2009: Aww, that's great news! I'm honestly happy/glad for you. Thanks for the update :-) xxx... (read in full...)
Should I break my friendship or break my lover's heart?
Q. My best friends brother has fallen in love with me and he told my best friend and she is pissed and never wants to talk to me again....what am i supposed to do; break my friendship or break my lovers heart....i'm so confused.......
A. 19 August 2009: Hey :-) That must be hard. I'm sorry you're confused ... hopefully my opinion and input will help a bit? xxx
Well, it depends how YOU feel about her brother. If you don't want to be with him, then just let him down gently. If you do, then I thin... (read in full...)
I wanted to kiss him, should I just have done it?
Q. I am lost... i really think i am in love with this boy. He is 3 years older than me. We have a connection. And he says he feels it too. Though he has just got out a big relationship... should that matter? We had this moment when i was with him... it ...
A. 15 August 2009: Hey :-) You really feel strongly for this guy, and it sounds like he feels the same. So why not? Life is short, as they say! It's natural to feel shy of course, so don't worry. He is probably wondering the same thing as you are ha ha! But I think yo... (read in full...)
Ok with texting but don't know how to talk on the phone
Q. Okay me and my girlfriend have known each other for a long time but never really talked to each other, and since we never gone to the same school we've never really seen each other. But latly we have been text messaging each other and it's Been ...
A. 15 August 2009: hey :-) It's ok, loads of people are a lot shyer talking on the phone, I know I do! Maybe you could pretend it's someone you phone regularly, so you don't get so nervous? As for what you talk about, just chat like you do with text messages. DON'... (read in full...)
Dating someone who has been sexually abused..how do you go about it?
Q. hey, this might be on the edge of what this site is for but here it goes: There's this girl that really likes me and i really like her, i'm one of the very few people she has trusted enough to tell that she has been sexually abused by her un...
A. 15 August 2009: Hi :D Well yes, start a relationship with her. You like her, she likes you. The fact that she's been through that doesn't make her incabable of love, or being loved etc. It doesn't make her unsuitable for a relationship. I think the key thing yo... (read in full...)
Longer lasting way to relieve cramps?
Q. Quite frankly, I hate period cramps. This is the worse I have gotten them in a long time. I had a warm bath earlier and it soothed them for a bit. But now they're back and they really hurt. Can anyone please recommened a longer-lasting way ...
A. 15 August 2009: Hey :)
Urgh, the dreaded period pains - I hate them too! One thing I do is, as Seraea said, have a hot water bottle over it. Can you take a painkiller? I take paracetamol if it's really bad.
I don't really excercise as such, but I find stretchi... (read in full...)
I'm 24, she's 14 but she loves me and I don't want to hurt her
Q. Hi i was looking for advice and found this site, I wrote my whole question out and it got deleted some how. So I have to write again, Basically this girl who is a close family friend came onto me while i was at a Summer BBQ at her house, asked...
A. 15 August 2009: Hello :)
I can't really speak from experience here, but I will give my opinion and some suggestions ... hope this helps!
You're worried about hurting her. But frankly, I think it would hurt her a lot more if you carried on being together, but got ... (read in full...)
How can I boost my self esteem? People compliment me but I find it hard to believe them
Q. Okay well I have very low self esteem. And I honestly don't know why, I hate they way I look I don't think I am anywhere near pretty, not even kinda cute. I have no reason to think this though no one has ever told me I was 'ugly' everyone always ...
A. 14 August 2009: Hi :)
Yes you have low self-esteem, it is common and will probably improve as you get older. Just remember that people won't tell you these things just for the sake of it - just to make conversation, or to be polite.
If they thought you were ugl... (read in full...)
Am I meant to shave or what if we have sex?
Q. This is a weird question I know I'm 15 yr old female currently in a relationship I've done things to him but I won't let him do anything to me because I'm worried.. Am I meant to shave or what if we have sex? It's worrying me if I do it wrong? ...
A. 14 August 2009: If you're worried about "doing it wrong" then that kind of suggests you're not ready imo .... you are kind of underage anyway :-)
... (read in full...)
Paranoia that people dislike me...
Q. my boyfriend and friends tell me I always over analyse things and get it wrong. A recurring thing is thinking people dislike me when they actually don't have an opinion on me, maybe its slight paranoia. Like I met my boyfriend's friends and ...
A. 14 August 2009: Hey :)
Sounds like you just have a low self-esteem, which is common, and will probably improve. When you are worrying about a situation in the past, thinking about the impression you gave, it is important to consider what you actually DID that coul... (read in full...)
Could I be bisexual?
Q. (i am a 16 year old girl)ok, so for the past year now i have been questioning my sexuality. i have gone out with one guy before and that was cause i have never gone out with anyone before. that was in 8th grade and then i had to break up with him. ...
A. 14 August 2009: Hey :)
I agree with DearCassy - don't label yourself. It might well be just a stage, loads of girls have curious thoughts in that direction. Even if you do get an actual CRUSH on a girl, rather than just vague thoughts about what kissing them woul... (read in full...)
I like Ricky..but Trey asked me out! what should I do?
Q. So there is the guy, we shall call him Ricky, I am hanging out with. As Ricky explains it and it did start off that way, but now its changed. We are still hanging out, but when we do...we don't act like just friends. We stand there and he will hold ...
A. 14 August 2009: Hey :)
I can understand why your situation is tricky, hopefully this will help a bit!
Okay, go on this date with Trey - it is fair to give him that chance I think. If you get on really well, and your feelings for Ricky fade - if Trey makes you happ... (read in full...)
She can't love me..but how can I make her love me?
Q. How can you make a woman you do love, love you?? Even though she already told you that she cannot love you?...
A. 14 August 2009: Hi
Sorry, there's no way to MAKE someone LOVE you. You can change your appearance or habits etc to make yourself more attractive and likeable to them .... but you can't make them actually love you. Which, as Rifraf says, is probably a good thin... (read in full...)
The psychological effects of an eating disorder
Q. In this article, I wanted to say a bit more about my experience of anorexia. I’ve already summarised how my eating disorder came about, but I wanted to explain more about some of the psychological effects it can have. I experienced, and still do to ...
A. 13 August 2009: Wow.
Thank you so much for that ... I am, in a way, honoured have to read that, realising how difficult, how AWFUL those things must have been.
I have never, and don't personally know anyone with an eating disorder, but I have know and understa... (read in full...)
Desperately in need of some sound advice, one-on-one
Q. I have an incredible amount of confusion going round in my head at the moment and its driving me crazy, like I just really need to talk some things through with anyone that will listen, but all my friends see me as the easy going one, like I dn't ...
A. 10 August 2009: Hey, feel free to message me anytime, i am very willing to listen and try and help! :-) xxx... (read in full...)
Ugly?
Q. Lately, I've been finding that the majority of the things I watch or read always have pretty people ending up together, getting their happily ever after as the good guys, while ugly people either die or have some kind of unfortunate ending. So, how ...
A. 6 August 2009: Thank you so much for this article, you certainly made some deep points and i found it really well-written and moving.
It's what's on the inside that counts - very cliched, but so true. Thanks for stating it :] i'm sorry about your experience with... (read in full...)
Sister rivalry... should I go to her wedding or not?
Q. It's my sister's wedding this weekend and I really don't want to go. I'll tell you why. I got engaged to my fiance two and a half years ago and we're getting married in seven weeks. Around this time last year, my younger sister and her boyfrien...
A. 6 August 2009: Yes go to her wedding - simply because, despite everything, she is your sister. Your flesh and blood sister - I really think that you will regret it if you don't go. And your not turning up may not be something she will forgive. I'm sorry about wh... (read in full...)
Why do older men perv on me?
Q. I'm 15, and, recently, I've started to notice much older men perving on me. When I was 12 or 13, teenage boys used to tell me they fancied me or asked me out, and I didn't mind that. But, nowadays, I've had a guy in his twenties flirting with me...
A. 6 August 2009: Hey :)
well I doubt that every single man who's looked at you is a paedo, so its probably a mixture of all three things you suggested. It doesn't mean anythings wrong with you! You're probably a stunner. A lot of girls would be flattered to get that... (read in full...)
Am I being ignored? What would you do in my situation?
Q. Okay. So I've met this new guy at the grocery store, he got my number and we'd been texting. We've went out twice and while I'm definitely attracted to him (he's really cute!) I haven't really seen much of his personality. He seems kinda... boring I ...
A. 6 August 2009: Hey :)
There are lots of perfectly reasonable explanations - he might have run out of credit, have problems with his phone or just hasn't received your messages, bla bla etc etc. If you're worried you're being ignored, go see him, face to face, and ... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I can't stop.
Q. I need urgent help; I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I can't stop. He's away on holiday, and I've been getting close to this guy the last month or so. Last night we went to the cinema and he held my hand and stroked my leg, then on the way home we ...
A. 6 August 2009: Contact your boyfriend. Now. Phone him. Hear his voice. Let it remind you of all your dreams and love for him. And control yourself - you will regret it, and it sounds like u already are! stay away from that other guy, if he knows you are in a ... (read in full...)
I need opinions on this. What's the difference between love and lust?
Q. What's the difference between love and lust? Loving someone or lusting after someone?...
A. 6 August 2009: A really debatable question, but my opinion is along the lines of something like - lust is more physical attraction, more "wanting" someone, and love (though it has many definitions) is a lot deeper than that. I wrote an article recently about mi... (read in full...)
What DearCupid means to me
Q. I wanted to take the time to say a bit about how Dear Cupid has had a positive impact on my life. Well, I first joined this site in April. I had some free time on my hands, as I had to give up my demanding college course so I could focus on r...
A. 6 August 2009: i agree with all the other posts - wow thank you for that, I found it really touching and moving. In my opinion you are one of the best aunts on here; I know you've certainly helped me a lot, but so many others too. I think to have helped that ... (read in full...)
I can't sleep or breath without her!
Q. I dont really know how to go about this, but I'm going to try and explain. This will sound cheesy and overused, but I'm madly and hopelessly in love with my teacher. It's been almost a year now and I can't see anything improving. I hate the use o...
A. 12 July 2009: hi, my heart honestly goes out to you on reading your post, i understand what you mean as I am going through a similar thing, though yours seems worse tbh. i appreciate how much you feel for this woman, and identify with so much that you've describe... (read in full...)
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