A
female
age
26-29,
*urassicbark
writes:My freshman year of high school, I met a really nice senior boy and a few of his friends. I suffered from extremely low-self esteem, and I think that what they did was to make me feel welcome. I would hide in the bathroom stalls during lunch time, but eventually a teacher found me and told me to go to the library. So, I did. Then one day, a group of boys walked in and they sat next to me. I had a crush on one, we'll name him Tim. Tim introduced himself and his friends and that was that. Even when other classes would come in, he'd call even more of his friends, where sometimes I was surrounded by 5-9 senior boys at a time. They began coming everyday, but I'd freak out and appear one to three times a week. They'd say stupid things, involve me in their weekly "penis" game, dance, etc. They'd display their boxers and tummy a lot, too. Especially Tim. I really liked him, he made me feel "right". No other boy that close within my age range (he was about to turn 18, and I was 14, but appeared older. I usually only fall for men in their 30's-50's.) I had looked forward to my lunch period everyday because of him for a few months. Unfortunately, my head and its paranoia got the best of me and I stopped going to the library. After Tim and his buddies saw that I didn't go to the library anymore, they would then start coming by my class to do a goofy dance and do silly things to make me laugh. Eventually, I started ignoring them because I felt ugly and unworthy of their friendship. They stopped coming. Except around the last weeks of school. Tim danced in front of my classroom door one last time. Then his girlfriend came about, I guess. And that was that, I haven't seen him since. Though, I'd usually run into him at the store when I lived where I lived back then in '08-'09. He'd wave at me, even if he was with friends I'd never seen before. He worked at a grocery store where my mom had her bank account, and before I talked to him, he'd be really nice. He'd run all the way to the customer service section just to get me a preffered card if I'd forgotten one.Since then, I've moved and I can't stop thinking about him. It's been almost three years since I last talked to Tim. There was something special about him. A quality I haven't found in a boy since. It wasn't just his looks, not even. It was more of the way he was. His charm, his sense of humor, his chivalry. He even called me beautiful, but that was on MySpace.So, anyway, I guess the reason I wrote this is... Should I move on? Should I go back to that town (it's over two hours away) and attempt to find him? If he rejects me, then what? What if he never liked me like that in the first place and was just being nice? I'm now nearing 17 and he's close to being 21, he probably won't even know who I am anymore. This boy was so different to anybody I've ever met. My heart fell for him, and it wasn't pretty when it hit the ground and combusted at the thought of never seeing him again.
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female
reader, sunandstars  +, writes (15 December 2010):
You obviously have very strong feelings for Tim if you still think about him now, nearly three years on. I think you should go back and find him because if he's the one you're going to majorly regret it if you don't go find him, because, like you said, you haven't met a guy with his qualities since, so he's obviously very special, go for it, and I wish you luck!
I hope this helps,
sunandstars
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Wow I went through something similar over fifteen years ago with a boy from my school and I actually found him on facebook the other day and decided to send him a message and he replied and totally remembered me. We decided to meet and have been seeing each other ever since the only thing is that he was married and has a child. I am working on dealing with that but I do not regret looking for him. I know that we are falling in love and we will be together because we were meant to be so go for it look for him girl and whatever happens at least you will know you tried. :)
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