Should I settle with him?
Q. I recently just left a 10 year relationship to a man I was engaged to. We've had our ups and downs and I think I should have left earlier, I was just too comfortable and scared to do so. We now have this new house that we've both committed to and ...
A. 28 March 2012: Thank you for the update. I'm in a similar situation, I've often had doubts about my relationship but too comfortable to leave.
I'm really happy that you had the courage to do this, and it turned out better than expected. Do you struggle with the... (read in full...)
Is it unhealthy or selfish to desire a companion?
Q. I have lurked on this site for a little while, and I was wondering whether I might make a post myself. I apologize in advance for its length. So I am another one of those people who is 21 and has never been in a relationship, never hugged or ...
A. 25 January 2012: Sweetheart, I think a good quality online dating website might be the way to address this issue - it will help you connect to thousands of people all seeking a special someone. You can also put your interests and activities on your profile and the ... (read in full...)
She wants me to have sex with someone else before we get married. What should I do?
Q. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. It all started with “what would you do if..” questions. A few questions in, it was my turn: Me: “What’s the first thing you’d do if we broke up?” Her: “Hmm.. More girl’s nights! What’s the first ...
A. 25 January 2012: Well... what difference is marriage going to make? Why not ask her to keep this offer open and the go root a bird if you do experience regret later on down the track. With her permission of course.
Wear protection = no babies and no diseases... (read in full...)
What is the mind of a woman like?
Q. if a woman suggests sexual activity to most any man, he's willing, probably eager, and more than likely thrilled. If most any man suggests the same to a woman, she'll say no, probably be offended, and very likely will decide that he's a shallow ...
A. 22 April 2011: Hey Kid,
Interesting questions.
I can't speak for all women so I'll comment on my own experiences.
I find that I am not easily turned on. When I was single, I would go three months at a time until I felt a strong urge to masturbate. This... (read in full...)
I like good conversation. How can I encourage my GF to talk more too?
Q. My girlfriend and I are wonderful together, we get along, we have a wonderful sex life and see each other every day. Sounds perfect right? Not quite. I like talking, I like conversation, I like expressing opinions, but she doesn't. My girlfriend ...
A. 8 February 2011: Oh honey, you sound like the male version of me! I've been trying to get my boyfriend to talk with me more. I am slowly accepting that talking/chatting (and expressing emotions) is not in his nature.
Try playing 20 questions or "truth or dare" bu... (read in full...)
I'm married and have a strong emotional attachment to a co-worker. How do I get out of this mess?
Q. I apologize in advance for the length and breadth of this posting, as it's going to be quite a novel. I've been going through a self-inflicted emotional turmoil for about two years or so now and I've not shared it with anyone close to me because I'm ...
A. 21 January 2011: I would like to share a couple of my initial thoughts straight after reading your question:
You said you don't put your co-worker up on a pedestal... but it is so easy to do without realizing. Do you ever hypothetically imagine being married ... (read in full...)
Are all men this emotionally frigid?
Q. Are all men this emotionally frigid? I wrote my boyfriend of 3 years a heartfelt letter detailing my doubts about our relationship. I’ve recently moved in with him (and his siblings) and things don’t seem to be working for me, due to a redundancy,...
A. 21 January 2011: I've been pondering all your advice (many thanks, by the way!).
I will try to see if this is something I can help him work on - perhaps with encouragement he might be able to express his feelings more openly.
But I also have to accept the (like... (read in full...)
Felt completely excluded among my b/f's colleagues; they made me feel like a loser
Q. Hi guys! This is a social-relationship question, and I appreciate all comments and suggestions :) Last night I joined my boyfriend and a few of his work colleagues at a bar in the city for "Friday night drinks". I wish I stayed at home! ...
A. 5 June 2010: Thanks for sharing, marieclaire.
I think its even worse when it comes to the girls! There was only one chick there last night - a vivacious receptionist. I didn't mention her as she was a separate issue altogether. But I guess her antics were due... (read in full...)
Felt completely excluded among my b/f's colleagues; they made me feel like a loser
Q. Hi guys! This is a social-relationship question, and I appreciate all comments and suggestions :) Last night I joined my boyfriend and a few of his work colleagues at a bar in the city for "Friday night drinks". I wish I stayed at home! ...
A. 5 June 2010: I appreciate your comments, Dr. Psych and Myrrh :)
I'm intrigued about the suggestion to keep going along in the hopes that they will get used to me, but on the other hand, the reality is more like:
"drinking buddies who resent (rather immature... (read in full...)
Is lying to your significant other to spare their feelings ever excusable?
Q. So, I just caught my long-term boyfriend (1.5 years together, 1 year living together) in a lie and am feeling disappointed and angry at him. He says he lied to spare my feelings, but is this ever a legitimate and forgivable reason for doing so? ...
A. 5 June 2010: Lies do tend to come back and bite us on the bum, don't they?
Your situation reminds me of when I found out my boyfriend had lived with his ex-girlfriend when he was 18. Now, this news may not be shocking, but back then I assumed he moved out of h... (read in full...)
He wants to make space for me in his cupboard. What does this mean?
Q. hi i am 24 and my boyfriend is 27 we have been dating for 3months :) and we still so inlove. On saturday he told me that he is going to make space for me in his cupboard for when i sleep over. Can someone please tell me if there is any meaning ...
A. 5 June 2010: For a minute there I thought he meant he was clearing a space for you to sleep in his cupboard!
Jokes aside, I think it's a sign of a steady relationship. Just be careful not to over think or assign meanings to little things such as these :)... (read in full...)
Felt completely excluded among my b/f's colleagues; they made me feel like a loser
Q. Hi guys! This is a social-relationship question, and I appreciate all comments and suggestions :) Last night I joined my boyfriend and a few of his work colleagues at a bar in the city for "Friday night drinks". I wish I stayed at home! ...
A. 5 June 2010: Thanks for the quick reply, C. Grant :)
You really hit the spot by saying "In a group of decent adults most of us can cope if someone meets us part-way."
I think it would have been quite a different evening if someone made an effort to talk t... (read in full...)
I was wondering is it normal to only be able to visualize yourself from a third person perspective?
Q. I was wondering is it normal to only be able to visualize yourself from a third person perspective? I'm really shy and I've noticed when I think about stuff I did in the past like going out to get some food I can only see myself like there is a ...
A. 1 April 2010: I think it's perfectly normal. Just now, I've tried to remember something I did recently (ride my bicycle, buy a bottle of tequila) and I find I can visualise the purchase of the tequila bottle from 1st person (through my eyes) or from 3rd person ... (read in full...)
After our troublesome trip to Mexico I think our relationship might be over
Q. I got back from a 5 day trip to Mexico with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. I have barely seen or spoken to him. We left after only being officially together for 5 months. The trip was not too much fun. He was pulling away before the trip which I wasn't ...
A. 28 February 2010: Aw, honey. At least you got the answers you needed. I think his honesty is indeed refreshing, as you put it. It could have been so much worse if he just never contacted you again.
Be happy for him, he's got a lot of learning to do. When you feel... (read in full...)
How come all of a sudden I am so insecure in my relationship?
Q. When I first started dating my BF I was really carefree, nothing bothered me and everything was just great. We’ve now been together for about 6 months and lately I find that little things like him not replying to my texts quickly annoy me, or that ...
A. 25 February 2010: You remind me of myself :)
I still get a bit annoyed when by boyfriend takes a while to reply to messages, especially when I reply quickly. However, I used to be a lot worse and I think it was due to the type of contraceptive pill I was taking. ... (read in full...)
Is this what younger girls are like these days??
Q. Can some of you please explain the mind set of today's young women in their early 20's? I am in my mid-30's and have recently entered the dating scene. Although I am 35, I am in great physical condition and most people say I look 25. I married my...
A. 22 February 2010: That's quite shocking! Were you in a suggestive location, such as a bed?
I would never consider any form of sexual contact on the first date, except for a polite kiss.
I can't speak for all ladies my age though (early 20's).... (read in full...)
Should I go with my husband to view his dead friend?
Q. My hubby's friend died and his viewing is tonight. He hasn't asked me directly to go with him, but when I ask him if he wants me to go, he says "I dont care, you can go if you want. What should I do?...
A. 4 December 2009: Oh wow.. I have a lot of "guy language" to learn. I was going to say "No way, clearly with a response like that he doesn't want you there!" but after reading all the responses I would definitely go with him.... (read in full...)
Please give me some lunch gift ideas!
Q. Hi, I need some quick suggestions. Me and my husband has been invited by one of my colleagues and wife for lunch tomorrow at his residence. I have no idea what I should bring with me as a gift. Specially since it is a lunch and because i don't know ...
A. 10 November 2009: If you're in the northern hemisphere, a quality bottle of red will do nicely. You don't have to drink it, as it is a gift the host can consume it at his leisure.
Did your husband say you needed to bring a gift? It's just lunch after all. I would ... (read in full...)
How can my girlfriend say she loves me, when I feel like I am her enemy most of the time?
Q. Dear Cupid, How can my girlfriend say she loves me, when I feel like I am her enemy most of the time?.... I am a 27 year old international student from Norway currently studying and living in Australia. I have been seeing my girlfriend, who i...
A. 5 November 2009: Oh boy, the baby sure complicates things!
I'm a bit of a romantic at heart too, so my gut reaction (even before I read about her pregnancy) was to stay with her and WORK on you're relationship. I can see that you are putting in heaps of work but... (read in full...)
Are any women actually trustworthy?
Q. I'm losing faith in humanity in general and myself in particular here. A little more than five weeks ago, my fiancée dumped me. I'm 25, she's 21, and we had been together for over 3 years, engaged for over one year. We were making good progress pl...
A. 30 October 2009: "Is there such a thing as an honest, moral, christian, slightly geeky girl that will not betray me?" Yup :) Sounds a lot like me (bit complicated on the christian point tho). I know a handful of women that also fit this description. ... (read in full...)
She says she can't stand me asking if she's seeing someone else, but she never wants to have sex! So she must be cheating, right?
Q. My girlfriend and I are having a problem seeing things from the same point of view. We've been together for almost two years and I have told her from the start that as long as we have sex and I am sexually satisfied, that we'll be happy and I w...
A. 28 October 2009: "I asked her why she doesn't want to have sex and that the only reason I can think of is that it's because she's having sex with someone else."
Geez Louise! That's the only reason you can think of? There are soooo many reasons chicks don't wa... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to put some excitement back into our love life?
Q. Hi Ive been with my partner for about 14 months now, we live a fair distance away so we mainly spend weekends and holidays together though we are looking to move in together soon. Thing is, we get on fine, but our sex life just seems flat now...
A. 5 October 2009: Take her lingerie shopping this weekend :) Buying something that makes me feel sexy usually spices up intimate times with me and my partner. Don't expect her to wear it every time though! (Garter belts take aaaages to attach to stockings!)
If sh... (read in full...)
21 year old in need of wise words!
Q. So here's it is. I'm 21 years old and have never been kissed, in a relationship, or even asked out. As weird as that seems, that's not the problem. The problem is that, although I "fall in love" everytime I leave my house with some random guy or ...
A. 7 September 2009: You sound like a very pleasant, honest and down-to-earth person. In other words - someone very date-able :)
Take a chance once and a while, perhaps ask one of those random guys out for coffee just to get a feel for the whole dating experien... (read in full...)
When does communication get better in a relationship?
Q. When does communication get better in a relationship? My b/f and I have these stupid fights and it's always over the way we communicate with each other. Example, the light bulb needed changing in the bathroom. They are special lights; the light ...
A. 23 August 2009: He sounds quite immature to me, honey. I can understand that he would become frustrated when you did not understand his first question (and fair enough - it does seem like a dumb question!) however he definitely over reacted. Perhaps he was having a ... (read in full...)
Sibling rivalry. What to do?
Q. Hi all, I'm at my wit's end, I don't know where else to go. I have a very strange issue of sibling rivalry that is not exactly sibling rivalry. I'll try to explain as succinctly as possible [warning: LONG] I live in a household where intell...
A. 2 August 2009: Families are crazy, huh! Intelligence and perfect (not just high) marks are paramount in my mother's eyes. What I've learnt is that until you can support yourself (ie: detach yourself from your family, move out etc) you have to play by their rules. ... (read in full...)
What is the most reasonable approach in choosing which guy to date?
Q. First I would like to thank anybody who is kind enough to read this and give me some advice. Now here is the story, I have a friend that I've know for a long time of which I kind of dated (not officially) for little while, but lost interest be...
A. 5 July 2009: Oh honey, don't blame yourself. These were only two guys out of the many you will meet and potentially date in years to come.
It's always hard to maintain a friendship when one person likes the other. Perhaps he couldn't get over his feelings... (read in full...)
How many couples have sex when the woman in on her period?
Q. Hi everybody, I am wondering how many women or couples out there have sex when the woman is on her period? I have to do it with my boyfriend everyday no matter what and I am not about to skip the sex because of my period. I don't see the problem ...
A. 15 June 2009: I've been spotting for over a month now due to a new contraceptive pill, and I bleed a bit every time we have sex. I'm very grateful my partner takes it very well. At first I was a little apprehensive at having sex while I was bleeding but his ... (read in full...)
What is the most reasonable approach in choosing which guy to date?
Q. First I would like to thank anybody who is kind enough to read this and give me some advice. Now here is the story, I have a friend that I've know for a long time of which I kind of dated (not officially) for little while, but lost interest be...
A. 13 May 2009: Good on you :) Let us know how it goes! I'm excited for you x... (read in full...)
What is the most reasonable approach in choosing which guy to date?
Q. First I would like to thank anybody who is kind enough to read this and give me some advice. Now here is the story, I have a friend that I've know for a long time of which I kind of dated (not officially) for little while, but lost interest be...
A. 12 May 2009: When I read your question, my reactions were,
-Don't enter a relationship EXPECTING things to change in the future (in this case, your attraction to him)
-You are so much more interested in the second guy!
The first guy sounds like he is a sol... (read in full...)
Is it normal that two people in a relationship do not talk to each other everyday?
Q. Hi everyone, I need help. my current bf has been a weird individual since the beginning. By beginning I meant to say 3 months ago. We've been together for 1 month. He never gives me good morning/night calls; never texts me during the day, he only...
A. 5 May 2009: To me, it sounds like you and your partner are mismatched. You enjoy keeping in contact more than once a day, and he is happy going days without it. I don't think he is cheating or gay or a jerk.. maybe just intensive to your needs. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)
How should my boyfriend and I deal with a girl who is trying ot get between us?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, I have a question and the answer may be obvious to some, but I have never dealt with a situation like this before and I don't want to do the wrong thing and blow things out of proportion, I want to deal with this correctly. ...
A. 29 January 2009: Hiya,
I wrote you a longer reply but I closed the page, so I shall make this concise :)
Well done on handling the situation so maturely. It seems your boyfriend is actively trying to discourage her since he worked your name into a conversat... (read in full...)
My wife can't understand why I went to that club, now our relationship is going downhill.
Q. Hi All, I wonder if you can help me with an issue I currently have. My wife and I live in England and married in April 08 after 6 years together (4 of these years we lived together). It was the first marriage for either of us. I was 38 and my wi...
A. 29 December 2008: Hmmm it's easy to side with you when you explain it like this. However, you need to try and put yourself into her shoes and imagine what she is going through. Better yet, as her to describe her emotions. The fact that you repeatedly and easily lied ... (read in full...)
Be yourself, don't change for anyone
Q. Hey, this is just my personal opinion. This isn't a question, just an opinion, and I would be happy to hear yours :D I believe, firmly, that you should not change who you are for anyone. I think that everyone is different and unique and diffe...
A. 28 December 2008: Nice article hun. I too believe that I shouldn't change myself to suit someone else. However, sometimes you need to compromise or make small adjustments to help things work smoothly... but I'm not talking about core values because that will only ... (read in full...)
Can't find a girl to satify ALL of my needs!
Q. Oh man, please bear with me here. Ok 2 years ago I met a girl. She was beautiful and loved everything I loved, all the same interests. We went to a movie I asked her to date me she turned me down. No biggy we became best friends. Turns out she was ...
A. 15 December 2008: To be honest I was very tempted to answer your question with that type of silly one liner (You don't deserve Girl 2!!!). There is always a deeper story, and you've actually surprised me with the letter you wrote to girl 1. Obviously it wasn't just ... (read in full...)
Why do I fall for men so fast? What can I do to avoid this?
Q. Why is it that I fall for men so fast? For example, after just one or two dates with a guy, I will get bummed out if he doesn't answer a call. Instantly I will assume that he doesn't like me. Or if I liked him, I will want to hang out like th...
A. 15 December 2008: It doesn't sound odd to me at all, in fact it sounds a lot like me :) I think its just a natural tendency to 'fall' quickly for someone that shows interest in you. I don't think there is much you can do except learn from what you've been through. ... (read in full...)
We are losing our feelings for each other but don't want to break up
Q. Hey there all. I've only recently stumbled upon this site and I find the community very approachable. So, here's my problem.. It's rather lengthy so please bare with me. Here's a background of our relationship. We are dating. It has been 7 month...
A. 15 December 2008: You sound very mature and well-spoken for a 13-15 year old :) well done.
How long have you and your girl been going out? Perhaps you're just in a sort of passionless phase. I recommend that you stick in there for a bit longer and see if yours an... (read in full...)
Can't find a girl to satify ALL of my needs!
Q. Oh man, please bear with me here. Ok 2 years ago I met a girl. She was beautiful and loved everything I loved, all the same interests. We went to a movie I asked her to date me she turned me down. No biggy we became best friends. Turns out she was ...
A. 14 December 2008: Well at least you're being honest by worrying that it might become a bigger problem. I'm not sure if it would help to discuss it with Girl 2, but I find that communication always helps me in my relationship.
Sex with Girl 1 does sound exciting... (read in full...)
Can't find a girl to satify ALL of my needs!
Q. Oh man, please bear with me here. Ok 2 years ago I met a girl. She was beautiful and loved everything I loved, all the same interests. We went to a movie I asked her to date me she turned me down. No biggy we became best friends. Turns out she was ...
A. 14 December 2008: I think that with your encouragement (telling her she is beautiful etc) she might slowly learn to love her body and be able to "show it off" a bit more. I know that is what happened with my partner constantly telling me how gorgeous he thinks I ... (read in full...)
Can't find a girl to satify ALL of my needs!
Q. Oh man, please bear with me here. Ok 2 years ago I met a girl. She was beautiful and loved everything I loved, all the same interests. We went to a movie I asked her to date me she turned me down. No biggy we became best friends. Turns out she was ...
A. 13 December 2008: It seems that neither of them can satisfy you full. Do you and girl 2 have any kind of sexual relation, or is it just her looks which are unsatisfying?
You have to decide if you can sacrifice sexual/visual fulfillment for emotional support.... (read in full...)
My roommate wants to have a both sexes sleepover! I don't!
Q. My roommate wants to have a... sleepover of all things. We're both 20 so it feels kind of weird. It's a small apartment too and she wants to invite a whole bunch of people including guys! I'm not that comfortable around guys in the first place, ...
A. 13 December 2008: If you have a lock on your bedroom door, I suggest you place everything valuble (sentimental or otherwise) from your apartment into your room, lock it, and perhaps sleep at your parents/friends place for the night? It seems very unfair that she has ... (read in full...)
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