A
male
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anonymous
writes:I am in abit of a difficult situation with a girl from work, in the way that i am absolutely crazy about her. i am 30 and she is 20 and we flirt all the time, we have been for about 4 months now. We are always sharing long glances from across the office, we have secret sayings that only we know, and we are always whispering things to each other. The problem is the other girls in the office are commenting on us, saying we are like a married couple, and when is the wedding. And telling us to pack it in, and to stop looking at each other. We can't even go near each other without sparking a comment. Its really getttng me down, and i think its taking its toll on her also. They keep asking me my feelings for her and of course in a room full of people im not going to come out and say i fancy her like mad, so i am forced to lie and say i don't see her like that, more like a little sister, and cosequently she does the same. But who would admitt their fellings in front of a room full of people, it has got nothing to do with them. But also i feel i am hurting the one i fancy. Im sure she understands i have to say this.If she never had feelings for me the flirting woulden't be reciprocated would it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2007): My advice to you is just go for it, but don't expect miracles. I am in a similar situation, and am receiving very clear signals ( I think), and we've been out for dinner a few times, talk to the early hours etc. Ultimatley though, if two people are too scared to leap the final hurdle you're not going to find out whether there is something there. I'm still waiting for the right moment... Give it time. Believe in yourself and you'll be fine.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): well it's obvious she does if you are both looking at each other. I wouldn't stare at someone I didn't fancy. Ask her out, bet she'll say yes!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): I know the feeling, I'm 30 and the girl I spend alot of time with is only 19. We work together, but not on the same department. People are always asking "What's going on". We spend alot of time out of work together, but never anything intimate. I like her alot, but I'm always thinking as to whether I want any more. She's very good looking, but some of the things she does and the way she acts, represents her age!!!
Think long and hard before you make a decision as to whether you can cope with the way she acts, as she is only 20!!!
I've tried a 10 year age gap before, and it was difficult. But I'd recommend it to anyone, as long as the person they are with is on your wave length.
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A
female
reader, ellie6 +, writes (24 November 2006):
 Well I think the only way you can find out whether she has feelings for you, or whether the flirting was nothing serious, is to ask her. Not in the office though!
Can you email her or phone her and ask (secretly, so you're office mates don't find out!!) to meet you for a drink/meal? And see how things go from there, whether you get along well, have a lot in common, you might decide you don't think you'll be good together, but if you like her even more, then tell her how you feel and ask whether she has any feelings for you? You'll never find out otherwise!
If she has feelings for you too, then give it a go, without telling your collegues, and see how things go- but in order to do this, you have to take the first step and pluck up the courage to ask her to get a drink with you or whatever- otherwise you'll never find out! You've got nothing to lose!
However, is an office relationship a no-no where you work? Because you don't want to jepordise you're job?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (24 November 2006):
Does anyone ever get any work done? Sounds like an awful environment - I guess that you two are the entertainment just now but that anyone and everyone is a target. If you get another job you can ask her out when you leave. Until then, maybe you could arrange to meet up outside work to talk. Tell her you like her but don't enjoy the office antics. Could you stage a fall-out so that the soap opera stops? I think though that it would be very difficult if the others think there is something going on while you both work there.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006): IF I WAS U...I WUD MAIL HER ...WHILE U ARE BOTH IN THE OFFICE...ASK HER IF SHE WUD LIKE TO GO FOR A MEAL AFTER WORK OR SUMIT...N AFTA U SENT THE MAIL...TXT N SAY 'CHEK UR INBOX' ...SEE IF U GET A REPLY....OR JUS PULL HER ASIDE...N ASK HER..NO HARM IN TRYING ...GUD LUCK..GOD BLESS U N URZ...KIP US POSTED...FRIEND X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006): As with many things in life:
Don't Assume. Ask.
Some women, like myself, appreciate a man who is able to risk rejection and take a chance at initiating something "more". I see it as my job to provide openings, and if a man who appears interested doesn't make a move or initiate a conversation, I chalk them up as "taken" or "not confident enough for me" and start mentally categorizing them as 'friends who are fun to look at and flirt with/tease playfully', but nothing more.
That is, unless something changes and he makes a move to find out if we're compatible or not.
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