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... Send *rs. Mom a private message | | | *rs. Mom's profile:I'm a 51-year-old mom of two. I've been married for 18 years and lived with my boyfriend (now husband) for seven years before that. We've been through a lot together, including a near-breakup and a seriously ill child.
I think love and relationships make life worth living, even though they're very tricky at times. |
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I've put my name down for a charitable game... But I'm nervous. Is it a good idea?
Q. Hi, My university is holding an event for Comic Relief tomorrow. This event requires some volunteers who will then stand in line while people place bids to go on a date with them, with the funds going to charity. I thought it would be fun so ...
A. 14 March 2009: Hey, you did something you never did before, and you got through it successfully! And you made money for charity! And you met a nice lesbian who must think you're cute! :) Maybe she has some nice straight friends :D... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is depressed and won't see anyone about it!
Q. what should i do to help my boyfriend i think he is depressed and he wont see a shrink he says he hates himself in everyway and one time he left a party early and walk home which was miles away because (and this is what he sed) everyone else was so ...
A. 13 March 2009: I'm sorry about the parents. That's sad, and it may contribute to his depression that his parents aren't really connecting with him.
Do consider telling an adult, if only to help you figure out what to do. You can always tell a teacher that you... (read in full...)
G/f smokes weed and I'm worried about her
Q. last night my girlfriend and i were talking and she randomly asked if i like people who smoke and my answer was it depends but more importantly why did you just ask me that. she said cause i smoke. i was in complete shock and worried about her but ...
A. 13 March 2009: I'm so sorry. I know it must hurt a lot. Life with someone who places substance use over relationships is a very hard life indeed, though.... (read in full...)
Walking away from someone I love so much..
Q. hey, i wrote in a cuple weeks ago asking should i stay or walk away from my married boyfriend, the thing is. i got 1 reply saying stay, i saying leave and 1 saying run. Ok here I go I lovge my boyfriend we are both Libras crazy. we havee ...
A. 13 March 2009: One thing you can do is face up to reality. The guy is married, and now you think he has yet another girlfriend. He's not treating you right. And you're not treating yourself right by living in this false position; not only are you sleeping with ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is depressed and won't see anyone about it!
Q. what should i do to help my boyfriend i think he is depressed and he wont see a shrink he says he hates himself in everyway and one time he left a party early and walk home which was miles away because (and this is what he sed) everyone else was so ...
A. 13 March 2009: You probably won't like this, but I think you should tell his parents you're worried about him. They can probably do a pretty good job of getting him to see a shrink.
Or if that is just totally out of the question, talk to a trusted adult at schoo... (read in full...)
He used to hug me and stuff and now he doesn't even acknowledge that I'm alive
Q. I am so sad right now, and I always regret EVERYTHING I do. Well, there's this boy. I liked him for a long time, but he didn't even know I existed, well, that's what I thought. Until one day he started flirting with me. (He has a girlfriend) Then ...
A. 13 March 2009: Hm. I don't think you did the wrong thing. Don't spend any more time on this guy. He's giving you the cold shoulder, and that's the sign that it's time for you to move on.
Not flirting with boys who already have girlfriends is a very smart th... (read in full...)
G/f smokes weed and I'm worried about her
Q. last night my girlfriend and i were talking and she randomly asked if i like people who smoke and my answer was it depends but more importantly why did you just ask me that. she said cause i smoke. i was in complete shock and worried about her but ...
A. 13 March 2009: Be honest with her and tell her what you don't like about her smoking weed. Make your best case for why it's a bad idea. In the end, the decision is up to her. In the end, you may have to let her go. I can't imagine you could have a very happy ... (read in full...)
Can't fit in
Q. Some may think I’m exaggerating but I’m being totally honest I’m 14 and I’ve been very confused cause I feel a little out of place at my age. I have lots of friends but that’s exactly why I can’t fit in any social group. Everybody thinks I’m 17 sinc...
A. 13 March 2009: Even if you look older, and have the tastes and attitudes of an older girl, you are still only fourteen. You should be socializing with people your own age, and that includes boyfriends.
I don't think having sex with men much older than you is g... (read in full...)
I Like this guy, alot. but I'm not sure if he likes me.
Q. I Like this guy, alot. but im not sure if he likes me. we've been best mates for a long time and we do flirt a little bit. My best friend told me that she also likes him but i havnt told her how i feel. he told me he doesnt like her and recently...
A. 13 March 2009: It's definitely a risk. You have to have courage, if you're going to do it! How bad will you feel if you never find out? Weigh that against how bad you will feel if he's not interested in being more than friends. Remember that the way you ... (read in full...)
I just want to know whats going through his head
Q. i seriously need help as i dont know what to do. its a very long story and complicated story but im going to try and keep it short, 2years ago i really liked this guy, i never knew him properly infact we hardly spoke i dont exactly know how...
A. 12 March 2009: One thing I know for certain, and this third-wheel guy isn't doing you any good. He didn't want to go out with you when you confessed your feelings for him, and he hasn't come back to you since then to ask you to give him a chance. He hasn't done ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble reading what he's trying to do.
Q. So this guy and I have had a rather bumpy road. We've both been immature and acted hot and cold towards each other and gotten 3rd parties involved in our relationship. Really stupid. But now we are on break and we decided to start over and i ...
A. 12 March 2009: Next time you talk to him, just ask him what happened to his phone call. Ask him if he got pulled over by the police or something :D Keep it light. And by his reaction, you may be able to answer some of your questions.
If you want to keep it casua... (read in full...)
I don't want to fall out with them. What should I do?
Q. Ok so here's my problem... me and my best friend have been best friends for eight years now and we've never had a fall out. then this gy got involved and it nearly split us up but we made it through it and we fell out with this guy. we bitched ...
A. 12 March 2009: You don't have to fall out with them, but you're not in a good situation. I suggest you try to make some new friends, while continuing to remain on good terms with these girls. I'd just spend less and less time with them as time goes on.
There... (read in full...)
What are the things I should look for to know if I should stay in a relationship or not?
Q. How do I know if he's in to me? What are the things I should look for to know if I should stay in a relationship of end it?...
A. 12 March 2009: Do you spend some time together every week?
Does he make sure it happens, or are you the one who always asks him to spend time/go out on a date with you?
Does he seem happy when he's with you, or does he seem preoccupied or bored?
Do you feel hap... (read in full...)
How much space and time should I give her?
Q. ill try explain fully, i met my girlfriend 2 years ago, we got on and was love at first sight we went on holiday after 3 weeks had amazing times never argue have done loads of amazing things, in 2 years we have been on 5 holidays moved in together, ...
A. 12 March 2009: It sounds like she's trying to solve a serious problem in her life and maybe make a major decision (like maybe going back to school?). She sounds like a great person. Definitely listen to her and don't pressure her to move in with you again. From ... (read in full...)
I worry my wife has gone back to her slutty ways, have I married the wrong person?
Q. I think my wife is a s___/w____ or whatever, I'm not trusting her at all. She was 'around' a lot before we dated. We're both only 23, we met when we were 21, but I know she's had sexual contact with at least 20 or more men before me. And that was...
A. 12 March 2009: It makes me really sad that you would use the words "slut" and "whore" about your own wife. It sounds like you two have problems that go way beyond whether she's having sex with other guys. It sounds like you don't respect her and that you expected ... (read in full...)
My FWB says he loves me now that I lost weight. Reality check?
Q. Ok here is the story I have been fwb with this man for almost a year now. Well I'm losing weight and he is starting to really respond to this. He tells me how beautiful I am and how much he wants me and how he can't keep his hands off of me. He h...
A. 12 March 2009: I think he sounds horribly shallow, and I wouldn't be very tempted to become his regular girlfriend. I mean, if he reveals this to you now, what other, more serious defects will he reveal to you if you get married?... (read in full...)
Should I give up on trying to find a b/f because I have been unlucky in love so far?
Q. hi after all my rejection in the last 10 years i think i should give up on getting a boyfriend its too much of pain.there is too much competion out there .the guys i like somebody else so i don,t think is much point, any boys perfer tall,gorgeou...
A. 12 March 2009: No, you shouldn't give up. I understand your discouragement, but ask yourself, ten years down the road, will having given up make you a happy person? I seriously doubt it.
Don't let yourself sink into cynicism and despair. I know at times it seems... (read in full...)
How do I stop putting all my happiness into a guy?
Q. How do i stop putting my happiness into guys? Theres this guy and i know he likes me, we always text and speak online and we went cinema a while ago. , its not offical or anything. Its one of those things were you like each other but nothings...
A. 12 March 2009: This is such a great question. It's one I've spent my whole life on answering!
Your life is much more than your feelings for this guy already. Just give other parts of your life the attention that they deserve. Work hard at school, focusing... (read in full...)
She wont open up and tell me whats going on in her life
Q. Ok i am with the most wonderful girl ever and I love her and she loves me. Here lately she been living eith her grandma due to some issues with her dad, and she has been totally different and she blames it on being home sick. Well at christma...
A. 12 March 2009: I'll tell you honestly that I think she only enjoys you for the control she has over you. It doesn't sound as if she is giving you much in terms of companionship and love. I think you need to at least be honest with her and tell her that you need ... (read in full...)
Accept or move on?
Q. how to accept or move on? my boyfriend of 12 years insist on us seeing each other every other weekend since he and i have lived apart for 2 years . i have had a very hard time dealing with this along with his drug abuse . he is also in a new band...
A. 12 March 2009: I think Starfish is right. This doesn't sound like a good deal for you. I'm sure there is someone out there who doesn't use drugs and who wants to spend time with you. Take the plunge, and cut the ties with this guy. Start living your own life. Dive ... (read in full...)
I would like some advice about what to do, I really like him
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I need some advice about my ex. You might have read some of my earlier posts, if not I’ll try and sum it up real’ quick; My ex and I met at school almost 3 years ago, we liked each other from the beginning, and after half a...
A. 12 March 2009: I think Denny gave you some good advice. Having had problems in the past isn't a reason to trash the whole relationship. However, it could be a sign of poor communication or a basic mismatch in values or needs. So proceed with caution. Give both of ... (read in full...)
No intimacy anymore! Help!
Q. Ok...So I broke up with a girlfriend of 3 years back in June. She was staying at my house and a girl I knew from the pool room I worked in, invited me to stay at her place. I was kind excited because she was roomies with a girl i worked with and ...
A. 12 March 2009: It sounds like there's a mismatch between your sex lives. If she's a really wonderful person who you'd miss from your life, be honest with her that you need sex to happen more often and give her a chance to respond. If not, just move on.... (read in full...)
My man wants me to talk "dirty" in bed!
Q. Hello all. I'd like to get feedback from the guys on this one! My man wants me to talk "dirty" to him in bed. What does he want me to say? Can you guys give me some tips, examples of what you like to hear and what makes you extra hot? I'd re...
A. 12 March 2009: Oh my! You wanted advice from men, so I'll just say good for you for being willing to try it!... (read in full...)
I Like this guy, alot. but I'm not sure if he likes me.
Q. I Like this guy, alot. but im not sure if he likes me. we've been best mates for a long time and we do flirt a little bit. My best friend told me that she also likes him but i havnt told her how i feel. he told me he doesnt like her and recently...
A. 12 March 2009: Ask him out on a date. Say, come to me with a movie, but not just as a friend. It's risky, but then you'll know if it's a possibility. And if he says he doesn't want to pursue that possibility, then you can still save face by saying "Okay! That's ... (read in full...)
I felt for him more than a FWB. Any ideas how to cope?
Q. hi me and my FWB have today decided to stop, and just be friends. ive been feeling for a while that he didnt want to carry on and that something was wrong becuase he was making excuses, so i asked him and he told me he didnt know becuase he doesn...
A. 12 March 2009: I think your friend is very mature and is trying to take care of you in the best way he can. The only way to make sure you don't continue to suffer with feelings of love for him is to find someone else. Find someone who's a good love prospect, and ... (read in full...)
Intercourse is fine but never had orgam by hand or oral. Why is that?
Q. No woman has been able to make me orgasm when giving a blow job? Don't get me wrong I have had some real real good ones but not the orgasm. Women get really frustrated when they cannot make me orgasm. The funny thing is I have now met a ...
A. 12 March 2009: Number one, you can always stick with intercourse...do what works for you! And find out what works for your partner, and help her do what works for her!
Another way to approach it is to agree to get together on a regular basis to pleasure each oth... (read in full...)
How to talk with respect
Q. Me n my husband been together for 2 years and were living with his parnets till we finsh working on our house, but here latly all we do is fight about anything little, we constly think eachother are mad and that were giving eachother an attuide. An...
A. 12 March 2009: I wonder if it would work to sit down with your husband and set some ground rules. Ask what things you've said to him that bothered him, so you know what kinds of things set him off. Both of you agree what forms of expression are acceptable and then ... (read in full...)
I've put my name down for a charitable game... But I'm nervous. Is it a good idea?
Q. Hi, My university is holding an event for Comic Relief tomorrow. This event requires some volunteers who will then stand in line while people place bids to go on a date with them, with the funds going to charity. I thought it would be fun so ...
A. 12 March 2009: I haven't been to an ordinary one, but I attended one at a convention, and it was great fun!
Definitely dress up! Wear something revealing, but put your personality out there. Don't be afraid to ham it up a little.
After all, you're doing thi... (read in full...)
Trouble making co-worker
Q. my husband and i have been togther for fifteen years now we have 3 children. he recently cheated on me with a girl he works with about ten years younger then me, she was well aware of me and our children but she pursued him anyway. and yes she ...
A. 12 March 2009: I'm happy to hear it, too. It's good to know that things turn out well sometimes!... (read in full...)
Why does a man change after getting married?
Q. hey guys,can any body tell me why man change after getting married.because i am sick of this life because of my husband.he was nice before marriage and care about me more than after . why this happening to me.sometimes i feel like i want just to ...
A. 12 March 2009: Sit your husband down and tell him exactly what you told us. Try to explain it from your own point of you without criticizing him. For example, "It bothers me that you don't wash yourself or want to have sex." Then tell him if this can't change, ... (read in full...)
Can my parents relationship affect mine?
Q. I was wondering if anyone else thinks that the type of relationship your parents have can affect the types of relationships a person has as they grow older. Like if your parents argued a lot when you were a kid if that will make you more prone to ...
A. 12 March 2009: You bet, honey! I'm glad I could be of help.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the Dad wants me to have an abortion or give it up, what to do?
Q. Im four months pregnant by another man which was a one night stand. at the time I was not with my kids father now we are back together and he knows about it because I told him, now he wants me to have an abortion or to give up the baby after birth. ...
A. 12 March 2009: Just wondering how things are going with you?... (read in full...)
I'm so confused. what sort of game is he playing?
Q. ive been good frends with this guy for a while, but recently w've got alot closer and hes been flirting alot. hes a bit of a player and he and his gf split up for a few days apparently because he was always flirting with me. all of our friends thin...
A. 12 March 2009: I think he is interested in playing around with you. If you don't want to get in the middle between him and his girlfriend, then don't let him touch you, and don't respond to his flirtations. Make it clear you're just interested in him as a casual ... (read in full...)
Am I a crazy mom?
Q. Hello, I've been married 16 years. I was pressured into this marriage, and it's always been rocky. But I've chosen to make the best of things. My husband is an o.k. guy, but he has a temper and tends to take his anger out on me and teenage kids. ...
A. 22 February 2009: I don't know if it will work or not. But how will living downstairs keep your husband from undermining your authority? That's the main problem here, from what I can see.... (read in full...)
Why would my EX call me to tell me that?
Q. he accused me of cheating when i wasn't and ignoring me.. and then call me in 2 months to ask me how am doing and how is my BF doing(i don't have one) and telling me hes got a GF and that hes is happy and we can be friends and told me to look after ...
A. 22 February 2009: He sounds like a needy guy. Just don't pick up his phone calls.... (read in full...)
I'm 20 years old and I feel as though my mum is very controlling!
Q. Im 20 years old and I feel as though my mum is very controlling. I feel like I have missed out on so much in life because of her 'protection and love for me'. I wont go into the long history of all the stuff thats happened, because that w...
A. 22 February 2009: I think your mother won't be able to support you the way you would like in this relationship. Try to understand that her motivation is to protect you, and don't expect too much from her at this point.
Don't argue with her about the relation... (read in full...)
My online man's advances are so sexual, how do I tell him that he's turning me off?
Q. i've been chatting to this guy over the last 3-4 months, he seems really nice, we just talk about school, family, parting the future.... recently he's started asking to see me on webcam (i havn't let in, yet) i kinda wanna do it because i feel like ...
A. 22 February 2009: Just tell him. "I'm not comfortable with that. Let's just keep chatting like this." Stand your ground!... (read in full...)
My friends breasts are "leaking" - does this mean she's pregnant?
Q. Okay. So my friend (YES, my friend, I'm doing this for her because I want to know the answer as well) she's sexually active. Yesterday she told me that her breasts appeared to be "leaking" and she was afraid this meant she was pregnant. I did rese...
A. 22 February 2009: She needs to go to the doctor for her own peace of mind. There's no way this can be diagnosed over the Internet!... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and the Dad wants me to have an abortion or give it up, what to do?
Q. Im four months pregnant by another man which was a one night stand. at the time I was not with my kids father now we are back together and he knows about it because I told him, now he wants me to have an abortion or to give up the baby after birth. ...
A. 22 February 2009: You should do what you think is right. If you think it would weigh heavily on you if you had an abortion, then don't. Take your man's feelings into account, though. If you think it will damage your relationship, then you should consider giving the ... (read in full...)
Was I right to end it with him over lying?
Q. I just broke up with my bf today over his lying to me. He is being scammed at work by a coworker and loaned this guy nearly $5000! The guy disappeared and never paid him back. When I got wind of this he told me he had only loaned him $500. The...
A. 22 February 2009: I think you were right. Lying is really hard to deal with. The fact that he doesn't understand why it bothered for you shows a huge difference between your values and his that is not likely to be easily overcome.... (read in full...)
I really like him, but he's bi and I'm not sure how I feel about it...
Q. i started seeing this guy, and i am really falling for him. i find out today that he might be bi. im totally straight, and i dont know if im really comfortable with the fact that he likes guys too. if i was left for a another guy, i wouldnt really ...
A. 22 February 2009: I think it's time to have an honest talk with him. Ask him if you two become exclusive, whether he will miss dating guys.
I think your concerns are legitimate. I don't think that bisexuals are naturally more unfaithful than hetero or homosexu... (read in full...)
Do I still have issues to work out before I can find a great guy?
Q. I'm almost nineteen and I've never really had a boyfriend. I'm pretty, smart, and I think generally awesome but I've struggled with self esteem issues for most of my life. I'm now a freshman in college and now am more confident and can be myself. ...
A. 22 February 2009: It's possible your standards are too high. Or maybe you just haven't met the right guy!
If you find you're rejecting every guy you meet because of this, that or the other thing, it might be time to start giving some of those guys a chance. ... (read in full...)
Can the doctor say I'm not a virgin?
Q. Okay so I'm 13, I'm a virgin but my hymen ripped from being fingered and also "fist" by my boyfriend, I think it ripped because I was bleeding after he fingered me. Since I really am, still a virgin, Can my doctor say that I'm not a virgin since my ...
A. 22 February 2009: No, a doctor can't tell for sure if you've had sex. The hymen can break from other activities.
I'm a little concerned about your boyfriend fisting you. You're still young--if you don't like it, don't let him do it. At your age, you should still be... (read in full...)
What do you think she's honestly saying with that message????
Q. my ex-girlfriend and i have been apart for a little over 3 months. She kept leading me on the first few months after breaking up. She'd say she still loved me and missed me and would call and text quite often. Up until a few weeks ago did i ...
A. 22 February 2009: I think she's using you to make herself feel attractive. Cut off all contact until you're really over it. Give it a year at least.... (read in full...)
Why does a man change after getting married?
Q. hey guys,can any body tell me why man change after getting married.because i am sick of this life because of my husband.he was nice before marriage and care about me more than after . why this happening to me.sometimes i feel like i want just to ...
A. 22 February 2009: Women change after marriage, too.
When people are dating and looking for a prospective mate, they're on their best behavior and show their best side. In addition, the excitement of early love and trying to get a partner into bed can make everythi... (read in full...)
Can my parents relationship affect mine?
Q. I was wondering if anyone else thinks that the type of relationship your parents have can affect the types of relationships a person has as they grow older. Like if your parents argued a lot when you were a kid if that will make you more prone to ...
A. 22 February 2009: Yes, absolutely. This has been demonstrated over and over again. Your parents' relationship affects your own attitudes about relationships, and what they taught and showed you has an impact on your skills within a relationship.
That said, many man... (read in full...)
Trouble making co-worker
Q. my husband and i have been togther for fifteen years now we have 3 children. he recently cheated on me with a girl he works with about ten years younger then me, she was well aware of me and our children but she pursued him anyway. and yes she ...
A. 12 February 2009: Tell your husband that in order to reassure you that he will not repeat his affair with her, you want him to tell her explicitly not to contact him on a personal basis ever again.
He's a grown up man--I'm sure he can figure out how to say it s... (read in full...)
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