A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i seriously need help as i dont know what to do.its a very long story and complicated story but im going to try and keep it short, 2years ago i really liked this guy, i never knew him properly infact we hardly spoke i dont exactly know how it got so strong but it went on for over a year! he dropped hints about his feelings towards me and i wasnt the only one who realised this, he would ask people about me constantly stare at me when ever we bumped into each other ect. to cut long story short after a few months (in which we didnt see or talk to each other) i decided to tell him i had feelings for him! it didnt go acording to plan and he said his been with his girl for a week now. For a few months we continued to talk as ussual but our conversations never went beyond the ussual. now im with his very close friend and his such a lovely guy who cares about me and loves me. now your probly wondering whar the problem is...well the three of us is all in the same place at the same time due to work 5days of the week. i told my boyfriend about what had happend in the past as i thought it would be unfair to hide it from him but his friend till this day hasnt said a word and we just act like we dont know eacth other and dont say a word. the weird thing is even though his in a long term relationship with the same girl for over 2years, quite a few times i couhgt him staring at me and when he realises i noticed he would look away, his more bothered then my boyfriend if he sees me with another guy, he would phone and tell him that they sould check up on me. the truth is i still have a soft spot for him i guess and when things like this happen it confuses me... i start to wonder if i did the correct thing by even starting a relationship with his friend i just want to know whats going thoughh his head...it comes to a point where i just want to get rid of every connection though to him including my boyfriend but its unfair on him as he didnt do anything, i get upset thinking about it iv been having sleepless nights! i dont know what to dopleaseee pleasee i would really appriciate it if someone could help me out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mrs. Mom +, writes (12 March 2009):
 One thing I know for certain, and this third-wheel guy isn't doing you any good. He didn't want to go out with you when you confessed your feelings for him, and he hasn't come back to you since then to ask you to give him a chance. He hasn't done anything to make you think he's really a good prospect for love. So throw that idea away.
It's quite disturbing that this guy calls your boyfriend and tells him to check up on you. If I were you, I'd have a talk with my boyfriend and tell him that if this ever happens again, he needs to tell that guy to mind his own business. You don't need this guy looking over your shoulder!
As to whether you should leave your boyfriend and start over with a clean slate, I don't blame you for thinking that. But if you enjoy spending time with him and if you two are a good match, then it's not necessary to get rid of him just to get rid of the other guy. Just make sure that the other guy knows that his intrusion is not welcome, and make your boyfriend be the one who lets him know.
Best of luck--and let me know how it goes.
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