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Can't fit in

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, Friends, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Some may think I’m exaggerating but I’m being totally honest I’m 14 and I’ve been very confused cause I feel a little out of place at my age.

I have lots of friends but that’s exactly why I can’t fit in any social group. Everybody thinks I’m 17 since I was like 11 because of my “grown up” body and my way of thinking and acting and some people think I’m too mature but I still sometimes act my age for what I think (it sounds stupid but It’s true).

Now I turned 14 and usually people think I’m 19 but I feel depressed because at the age of 11 I was already with a 27 year old guy and I’ve had some experiences I wish I didn’t have, but it’s not my fault having to grow up fast.

I’ve tried controlling myself and waiting till I become older and ready to live this kind of things but 99 % of the guys who I liked and have offered me a relationship are 20- and older.

I also have a different point of view for things now as I had to live things a 17 year old should (for my point of view) 3 years ago. I can’t find a guy who I can gradually grow with in our relationship cause I’m always at least one step forward.

The youngest guy who I’ve been with was 17 and he was totally a jerk. So most guys who are close to my age can’t handle me, what should I do?

How do I become more my age? I can’t go back In time but I really want someone my age but they seem too immature to me. I’m really confused about my situation…any help??

View related questions: depressed, immature

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A female reader, loveprincess United Kingdom +, writes (15 March 2009):

loveprincess agony auntu need to live ur age because when u r 19 u will look back and see that u should have lived ur young teenage yrs

so good luck i hope this has helped

Gabriella

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009):

ok ok listen im 16 yrs old i started having sex at 12 and every guy that ive been with is older except one. and the oldest guy i have been with is 23 and i only regret a few times. but still its your mind your body no one elses. and if you think that you start being more like a 14 yr old go out with your friends on the weekend enjoy life while you can. don't go looking for a guy let the guy come looking for you. sex just isnt everything in a relationship its a bonus but its the most important thing of all. when two people have sex its mainly to show their passion for each other not just to do it when theyre bored.

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A female reader, Mrs. Mom United States +, writes (13 March 2009):

Mrs. Mom agony auntEven if you look older, and have the tastes and attitudes of an older girl, you are still only fourteen. You should be socializing with people your own age, and that includes boyfriends.

I don't think having sex with men much older than you is good for you. I don't think a 14-year-old can have a truly equal relationship with someone four or more years older. The disparity is just too great. I think it's going to set you up for confusion in the future.

I think it's time to take a huge step back. This is my advice. Stop dating until you're in college. Give yourself time to recover from getting into sex so early. Focus on age-appropriate activities--spending time with friends, going to school, after school activities, like sports or hobbies.

If you don't have the strength to do it on your own, go to your mom and tell her the whole thing. Let her make the decisions. Submit yourself to your parents' guidance until your mind and heart catch up with your body.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009):

so you feel like an adult and look like one, sounds familar. I'm 14 and i guess i'm alot like you. my youngest guy was 16 actually(i was 11). well lond story short, if the older guys get points for maturity, and the guys our age lose them for the same reason then stick with mature. maybe do what i did and find a guy with the maturity level but who still loves to have fun and act like a kid. it worked for me at least and mike (not his real name)and i have been going strong for 5 months

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