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Can the doctor say I'm not a virgin?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Okay so I'm 13, I'm a virgin but my hymen ripped from being fingered and also "fist" by my boyfriend, I think it ripped because I was bleeding after he fingered me. Since I really am, still a virgin, Can my doctor say that I'm not a virgin since my hymen is broke or can it be ripped by other things? I don't want to tell my parents or doctor that I was fingered and it broke so can it be ripped by other things or just sex and such?

View related questions: hymen, still a virgin

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A male reader, anoms United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2009):

anoms agony auntlook this can happen very easily and naturally, and your docter is not going to be concerned with that kind of issue because it doesnt effect your health, if your the same person that posted this several times then relax you have nothing to worry about, gudluk.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009):

My hymen broke a bit for the first time and bled when I was around 8 from riding a horse.

When I was fingered for the first time when I was 15, I bled a little again.

Then when I had full sex when I was 18, again I bled.

From my own personal experience, just because you bleed doesn't mean the hymen is completely torn. It could only be partially torn. But if you were fisted, then I suppose it would have already been completely broken. I'd still consider you a virgin though because there hasn't been penile penetration.

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A female reader, jamieanderson United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2009):

jamieanderson agony auntHowever odd this is i've always considered your virginity as nothing to do with your hymen. It's a state of mind, a sort of purity. To me it simply means you haven't had sex. You can do all and up to, but your virginity is not broken until you have sex in my book.

And though this is slightly unrelated; it's always worried me when people ask if anal sex means you aren't a virgin. If you are close enough to let them do that to you then you are close enough to sleep with them normally. I don't see why anyone would want to do the former before experiencing the latter.

In your case i don't know why your doctor would need to know unless you have some kind medical condition. If you are asked about it for a real reason, be honest. However they have no right to ask you about it if you have no medical condition. It's a personal thing.

Your hymen can break from very active sports, i've heard while playing tennis is quite a common one. Horse riding too.

Good Luck

Jamie XxX

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (22 February 2009):

tux agony auntI think it would have ripped with the fisting.. Are 13 year olds really doing that nowadays?? but anyways, like it has been said.. The hymen can be broken in a variety of different ways that don't even involve anything sexual. But if you are engaging in any sexual activity... fingering... fisting or whatever you should tell your doctor so he can make sure you are healthy with it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2009):

ha, hun.. you can "pop ur cherry" from multipule things, sports, sex, fingering, tampons, falling... anything really can break it.. so dont worry about it.. he cant tell unless you tell him... or your pregnant.... but i mean even then, you cant tell for sure cuz you can get preggo from fingering if there is cum on your fingers, so there is no 100% sure way for anyone to know except you, the guy, and anyone who walks in on you 2... i hope your ok with the fisting thing... i agree with the other girl, you should enjoy it.. if its to much for you, tell him not to do it any more...

and you dont need to tell your mom, just make sure when you have sex you use a condom, you dont wanna be preggo babe!

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A female reader, Mrs. Mom United States +, writes (22 February 2009):

Mrs. Mom agony auntNo, a doctor can't tell for sure if you've had sex. The hymen can break from other activities.

I'm a little concerned about your boyfriend fisting you. You're still young--if you don't like it, don't let him do it. At your age, you should still be able to enjoy plain old vanilla sex with lots of hearts and flowers! In fact, in my book you shouldn't be having sex at all. But don't let the guy be rough on you! He should be tender and kind.

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