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male
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*hoenix
writes: Over a month ago, my ex-girlfriend broke my heart by flirting lots with another guy and dumping me for him. In this time, with the help of a really close friend, I have been able to get over her. I started becoming very attracted to this friend that helped me, and the two of us went on a date during Thanksgiving break and plan to go on a second during winter break. Things are going pretty good, and I'm very happy again. :)But a couple days ago, my ex-girlfriend started talking to me again. Apparently, her boyfriend broke up with her, partly because she has bipolar and is very emotional. Now, though, she wants me back, and isn't taking no for an answer. She keeps telling me how she "NEEDS ME" and loves me more than life itself, but frankly, after all she put me through, I'm not attracted to her at all anymore. I told her this bluntly, but she keeps trying and won't leave me alone. She has many, many self-pity parties, saying how she ruined her own life. She also tells me that her mom was the one who convinced her to dump me. What should I do? I REALLY do not want to go back to my ex-girlfriend, but she doesn't get it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): i had similar situation... was in real love wid dis girl, rejected me in April n broke me heart, n den tried getting back 2gether n tried 4ages n met in September 2 work things out.. da nxt day i found out she had 5 bfs, yep..not 1, nor 2 or 3 or 4, but 5!! and she was seein more den dat..she told me she was single still n i tried all nite sayin my feelings n pursuading her...now i felt such a fool n den finally got over her (end of Sept.), a few days ago she sed she luvd me n wntd 2 b wid me n ended it wid all da other guys ... i dnt wna kno her but im likely gna meet her as i had such strong feelings b4, found out she is a SLUT .. but she is so low-esteem n she got like a cute baby face so its like if shes upset or woteva its like always gna 4give her n feel soz 4 her
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): You tell this ex gf one final time in a firm voice that: "you and she are done and you have moved on" and then end it-walk away. Do not accept any more phone calls, e-mails, block her messages, etc, etc-accept nor intigate any contact with her, whatsoever. Make sure to tell your current gf-what the ex is doing and the both of you team together and just plain and simply-ignore her. And if that doesn't work-remember there are laws against harrassment and you and your current gf have the right to live your life in peace, without anyone, including your ex gf, harrassing you both. Life throws us the unexpected. We deal with it. So make sure you communicate openly to your current gf about what this ex gf is up to, to keep the lines clear and she knows what's happening and what to expect.
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A
male
reader, Phoenix +, writes (5 December 2005):
I already told her that I was attracted to another girl, and she got extremely jealous. She actually IM'd HER the next morning as I was sleeping, trying to ruin it for me.
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (5 December 2005):
 You are going to have to give this girl a little tough love, tell her the next time you talk to her that though you hope in the future to be friends, right now you are still feeling the pain and heartache she caused you, let her know that you are attracted to someone else. You need to make it clear to her that you are not going to accept her calls or see her for a while to give you both time to heal from the break up. You do not need to be cold or mean to her, especially if she is already emotional but you will do her no good if you lead her on at all so it is best to just cut all ties for the time being.
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