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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months and we live 120 miles apart. When we have sex which is once or twice a week, if that, he has this problem. He can't go very long and he says it's not my fault. He's had this problem before and his mom even comments on it so I'm pretty sure its not me. But I mean I think our longest time ever was like 7 minutes- if that. Unless he has alcohol in his system then it's like 20 minutes. We've tried using a C-ring, desensitizer, everything, but still nothing works. Do you have any advice for me? I really like this guy and I guess you could say that ya, I want it more than normal but that's only because we don't get to see each other that often. And when we do of course I'm gonna be aroused. But it also seems that he doesn't even like to have sex cuz he thinks that that is what our relationship is built on. He gets mad at me when I'm crabby because I want it but still. I can't get off because he doesn't last that long and it puts him in a bad mood and me too. What can I do? I really need answers to this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): HI I WANT KNOW I BEEN MY BOYFRIEND HE LIVE IN SANDFORD NC I AM LIVE IN ELIZABETH CITY NC ABOUT 4 MOS RELATSHIPS TEOTHER I BEEN CHAT ONLINE NOT BAD ,,, ONE TIME SEX WITH HIM THEN HE ASK ME MOVE LIVE WITH HIM THIS TOO FAST ?
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female
reader, stacey nutthall +, writes (15 December 2005):
hi. my first boyfriend had this problem. it can be ALOT of fun getting over it to. when he feels that he is about to cum, stop. let him calm down abit, then carry on. if you do this a while, it will make him last because he's used to waiting. its great fun!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005): I say dump him and move on sex should not be somthing you do in 7 min. it should last for hours. It should be somthing to enjoy. I have never met or heard or a guy that did not love sex. Have you tried oral? Or maybe he is embaressed so he stops when he starts to cum Im not so sure sorry i couldent help more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2005): I think the important thing here is to not critizise. I had a boyfriend with the same problem, and I would start to get crabby because he didn't last long. I would get on top and just start to get into it and he would tell me to stop or get up because he was so close. Sometimes he would just have an orgasm during heavy foreplay. He was in his mid 30's and if he climaxed once that night, that was it. He wasn't able to get it back up again. Naturally, I would start to get annoyed at this because I started to become sexually frustrated and everytime he had an orgasm quick I would roll over and give him the cold treatment. He started to feel not good enough and would avoid having sex because he didn't want to dissapoint me again. It really put a wedge between us. Eventually, we started to find our rythem. We had long foreplay, he would go down on me and when I was very close he would put a condom on and it was ok that it lasted 7 minutes because it was enough to get me where I wanted to be and we always went together. You just need to find what works best for you. Maybe, if you feel comfortable, incorporate some sex toys into it. Whatever you do, don't critizise him for it. It'll cause a break up because he'll feel like he's not good enough and will never be good enough. Men hate feeling that way and they will avoid anyone who causes them to feel bad.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (18 November 2005):
 How in the hell does his mum know about him not lasting? Is she in the room then when he is doing it? I would say that 7 mins of intercourse is average but its not fantastic either but everyone has their opinion on that.Have you tried different sexual positions? or longer foreplay? When he thinks hes about to come,tell him to pull out and then you can pleasure him manually and he does the same to you,then start the intercourse again but this time,tell him to think about something else other then wot he is doing,it will then delay his ejaculation,and making him last longer.
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male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (17 November 2005):
You could suggest that the intial stages are spent with foreplay on you. You don't have to mention that it is because he climaxes too quickly. You like a lot of foreplay. Then you could get worked up, and introduce your partner roughly 7 minutes before you are ready to climax.
Something to try?
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female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (17 November 2005):
 Contrary to many beliefs, the intercourse part of sex is not exactly the marathon movies make it out to be. There are many factors determining how long a man can last frequency is not even the main one if he is young, men in their late teens and 20's often reach orgasm quickly but have an advantage over older men in that they are usually able to start again just minutes after coming. While seven minutes is not very long, it is not even the shortest time I have heard of. There are a couple of options for you guys that could make it better. One, have him masterbate, or masterbate him before intercourse. Just work it into your foreplay, he may even enjoy oral to completion before the main event. Usually the second time around men are able to hold it much longer. Second, he may need to try to take his mind elsewhere to learn to hold off his orgasm. As for not making you come, most women find it hard to come from vaginal stimulation so it is not always a bad thing if he can't last that long. He could perform oral sex on you until you orgasm or you could incorporate a vibrator. There are so many options but making him feel inferior as a result of his quick coming will not help his performance at all. Try to be understanding and work with him rather than against him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): I think that you need to tease him before he tells you that he's about to cum.
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