A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am trying online dating, and starting to have some success. But what if a girls sends me her picture and i know that i dont feel any attraction towards her. What is the best way to deal with this? Is there a nice way of saying it that i dont think it's going to go anywhere?Tanx Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Hmmm......theres no nice way of telling a girl you don't find her attractive. You can still chat with her, but let it gradualy fade away. Don't answer her emails diligently, and certainly don't organise to meet her. Like all things they will fizzle away.
I think thats the best way, I know for me the last thing I would want a guy to tell me, even nicely, is that he didn't think I was pretty.
Let it fizzle away. The thing is, you're probably 1 guy out of 30 thats shes chatting to, just as she is 1 of many with you. Don't dampen her confidence.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (7 December 2007):
 Well, the truth of the matter is, you "don't think it's going to go anywhere" so keep your conversation friendly but not flirty. If she pushes for more, say kindly, that she's very kind and fun (or other honest compliments) but that you're only interested in a friendship with her.
There are going to be people that berate you because you're not physically attracted to a person. You know, that's just not fair. First of all, men are more visual than women. People like to label that as shallow and, taken to an extreme, it can be. But the honest truth is, that's how you're wired. Secondly, these same people that will give you grief about this have their own standards but don't view themselves as shallow. (isn't that convenient!) A lot of people see themselves as perfectly fair and unbiased and where someone else differs, they're not as evolved. It's all subjective.
So ... be honest, but be kind. You can soften the blow with a sincere compliment. If she hounds you, thinking that you're playing hard to get, after you've plainly said 'no, thank you', just don't reply to her emails.
Best wishes.
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