A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I let my girlfriend to go braless in public?Will it be okay to allow her? she wants to wear very short dresses, and dresses that allow her breasts to be seen through the fabric and be transparent and be viewable in public.She says she wants to show that her body is sexy.Can you all please give me advice?
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (1 February 2015):
I don't know the context of this situation, but this could be a really big hint that she doesn't feel appreciated by you. Has your sex life gotten into a slump? You might wanna spice it up a little.
If she's really serious and asked for your input, in your shoes I'd tell her that of course it's her body and she can wear what she wants, but clothes that revealing attract predators like moths to a flame and you're worried about her getting harassed or worse. I mean, that's what I would worry about.
In this scenario also ask her why she wants to dress this way. If she gives you that "I want to feel sexy" answer ask her if there's something missing in this relationship for her to seek out that attention. Sometimes you just gotta be direct to get a straight answer.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2015): "Allow" is perfectly legitimate in this situation. This is how people say it: I can't let you do this ( get drunk in public, disrespect me in front of others...or ... wear skimpy clothes). My husband is a totally open minded, not controlling, and very flexible when it comes to our relationship. He "lets me" travel by myself for 2-3 weeks at a time couple times a year, go out with girls, picks me up at 2 am sometimes when I had few too many and can't drive. The only thing with him was and is tha he can't have me wear skimpy clothes. He says, men will stare if its there. And he feels very uncomfortable when men stare at me. He also thinks that to wear skimpy clothes is a sign of insecurity in women , desire to always be liked and need for constant reassurance. To wear transparent clothes is just a bad taste, unless you are performing on stage and it's part of your costume. I don't think your girfriend wants to dress like this because you are not paying attention to her. For some women it's never enough the attention of one man.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 January 2015):
 In my area, if she was dressing like that, she'd be losing body parts to frostbite and would be dead of hypothermia in a short amount of time.
I guess you must live in a warmer climate.
Did she ask you to guide her choices in clothing? If yes, then it's your decision. If not, well, she's presumably an adult and can make her own choices.
If you want to control her choices and she doesn't want you to, then we have a different situation.
If you're one of those guys who get off on their women being exhibitionists, then you don't have a problem.
So what's the situation?
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (30 January 2015):
Do you just mean that she wants to wear fitted dressed or something that actually is see through to the point where everything can be seen? In any case let her know your opinion, but if it is simply fitted clothing which shows her shape and presumably she is wearing underwear which is not visible (ie ridiculously short dresses) then I dont see the problem.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 January 2015):
 Yeah, stop thinking you have the right to "allow" her to do anything. You're not her dad, and she's not under age. She doesn't need you to allow anything.
On the other hand, if you disapprove of this then you have the right to tell her how you feel. If she still wants to do it, then you have the right to walk away from the relationship.
But you can't not "allow" her to do anything or nothing, she's an adult, not your property.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (30 January 2015):
 Personally, I think it looks a bit cheap - like, could you not accentuate your assets without making them almost as visible as if you were to be naked.
That said, it's not your right to tell her what she can or can't do with her body. You can tell her how you feel about it, but not decide for her.
You could always calmly, without confrontation, ask her why she wants to dress like that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 January 2015):
 Allow her? Seriously?
Is it not her body? Do you think you somehow OWN it, because you DATE her?
DO you expect her to dress frumpy and conservatively because she is dating you? (or any guy).
Maybe consider paying more attention TO her, so she doesn't feel the need to go out in public waving her boobs around to feel sexy?
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