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Can one's feelings change the moment something is said. Has anyone experienced this same situation?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2007)
A female Canada, anonymous writes:

Has it ever happened to you that in a relationship something in a moment you can pinpoint, makes you realize that you have seen the light and your feelings towards the other person change? I'll elaborate a little:

in my last relationship, i was completely and madly in love with the guy until the day, while we were on a break, he said he wanted to get back togetehr, had sex, then said he wasn't so sure about that. In that moment, I realized it was all about the sex, n my feelings changed in that one moment.

in my present relationship, my bf n i were talking about the future n he said he can't promise me anything because he doesn't know what the future holds, and put a lot of 'ifs' and 'buts' into our being married someday. I dunno...I think i realized that he knows this isn't going anywhere for him n can't tell me that. And I think my feelings for him have changed. I still do love him, but it's not the same anymore.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? What would you do?

View related questions: a break

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007):

It may seem like all of a sudden, but it wasn't. You've probably thought it for a while and didn't even realize it.

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A female reader, Astrid Spain +, writes (19 January 2007):

Astrid agony auntI feel like you, you can hold to the relationship and help it evolving but he is not thinking about u longterm, I went for dinner with a good looking charming boy and told me he had friends to have sex with and that if I wanted to go out with him should go tobed with him that day(2nd date) I refused and felt like crying I never felt illusioned about him again not even now when he tries to get my interest back, another time I felt like drowning when my ex said we rather didn't exchange crhistmas presents as maybe we would drop but insited on having sex despite I told him I wanted to know him better be4 engaging sexual relationships, men talk to much sometime

good luck honey have a look around and go on have a try if u want but hold on your wills and u'll get it all sometime

love

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey, Mel! Read your reply after responding to CD's. I understand what you're saying,and I think you're right - it is like a domino effect...wow, thanks for helping me see that clearly, coz that makes a lot more sense. It's also a tricky situation, because I believe that he loves me, but knows he's not going to be with me in the future.

Thanks though, your insight was very helpful, Mel. xx

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A female reader, melschatbox United States +, writes (19 January 2007):

melschatbox agony auntHmm Cd is correct (to a certain extent). It really depends on if it's a trivial thing this is over or HUGE life differences. And, I can pretty much bet it's not that he said just one thing you didn't like...it's been a couple of things. You may not have realized it until that one other thing was said. Make any sense?? It's sorta like a domino effect. But, you need to follow your gut instincts, if you're sensing he's not 100% devoted to you and your relationship..your probably right.

I do have an example to share with you about if one thing was said could it change your mind about a person. It changed my view about this guy..but I didn't let it stop our relationship. BUT, I wasn't dating him or anything when this was said ..okay here it goes:

He said to me that when men and women check out members of the opposite sex we are imagining them naked. I absolutely didn't agree with his thinking..but, knowing that's what he was thinking when a cute girl walked by..kinda made me stop and think.

Good Luck. Hope that was helpful.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow...that's a little harsh. Don't you think it could be that in a moment of complete clarity I saw things for what they really were instead of being illusioned by emotions and feelings? Is that possible?

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (19 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntI think if one comment can change your mind so quickly then it's not a very strong relationship. Sorry.

CD

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