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Why does my boyfriend hardly ever want to spend time with me any more?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2007) 9 Answers - (Newest, 15 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, *as26 writes:

Hi, I'm 17 an have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now, but lately he doesn't seem to want to spend time with me, seems he would rather be out with his mates. I really love him and it hurts that I hardly get to spend time with him anymore. I know he loves me, but sometimes it seems like he can't make the effort to cum and see me for just a few hours. All of my mates and family tell my that I'm stupid to put up with the way he treats me, but I love him and donlt want to let go. Any advice?

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A female reader, Supergirl94 United States +, writes (15 September 2010):

Supergirl94 agony auntWell are you guys having sex? If yes and you guys were doing it a lot in the past then he probably got tired of it. If u 2 weren't then he wants to. Also if you guys are fighting a lot then he probably doesn't want to see you. You just got to get him over and sit down with him by urself and tell him you can hang with your mates but you can't take a couple of hours to see me?

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A female reader, ayayay United States +, writes (31 August 2008):

Honey, I have the similar problem. I'm 19 and I have a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. We have been through everything together. He works full time and goes to school full time as well, but when he isn't doing that he is hanging out with his friends. He hardly picks up the phone anymore. I know he loves me but sometime I don't know. I know this isn't helping you with your situation but I know it helps me to know that I'm not the only person going through this. So we're right there together!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008):

i be with my bf for a while and he doing my head in becoz he at work or seeing his nan and when we do see each other he had to go early, this month i seen every sunday for two hours, he just told politley to put up with it, till he get things soughted, we went to get a house & then he back down becoz it did not have a bath!!!! i feel like having a break.... since he being all that i have be getting paranoid that eh cheating :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

well im the same ive been with my boyfreid for nearly 3 years now and its liek i never see him cuz hes allways at work but then when he does have spare time to see me hes doing something els he gets angry with me and tells me its nothning and that he loves me loads but i dont no if its just me or he is really being off with me??? i ahve had alot of problems lately too and dont no if im getting depression because i havnt seen him since monday and its now friday and its like im really upset and cant control myself because i jsut think that he doesnt want me anymore!!:( x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007):

i really want to spend time with my boyfriend as in just me and hium, BUT, i have friends as he does and we never really spend time with each other without any of our friends there. i've recently asked him about kissing and he said if we were alone together yes, but i dont know how to get him on his owe with me or when. HELP

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A female reader, LauraE United Kingdom +, writes (9 July 2007):

Hi kas26,

Obviously he needs time with his friends, we all do. But you say he hardly ever sees you. Unless you are exaggerating, then I am afraid that means that he probably doesn’t feel the same for you anymore. You don’t want to hear that from your family or friends, so you are hoping someone on here will tell you otherwise. I won’t do it, because it isn’t fair to say the ‘nice’ thing when you are sure it is wrong. I remember exactly how you feel. How much it hurts. So much so, that I am sure that I am entirely wasting my time when I tell you that you have to let him go. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, then at least make real efforts to get out with your own friends more, get your life back. You are hoping that he will come back. I am hoping that you will get over him once you get out more. Doesn’t matter which of us is right – just enjoy yourself some more. That will make it better either way.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (9 July 2007):

DV1 agony auntHe's probably coming up on his 18th birthday, which generally means graduation... He knows that his friends may move on, but that you'll make more of an effort to see him later. Let him enjoy his time with his friends. After graduation, I'm sure that he'll have more time for you, as most of his friends will be gone... It's normal progression for guys... If he denies you any time, get rid of him, and find someone else...

DV1

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

Listen to your family and friends because they can see what you can't and think clearly about what is best for you. You are in love so your mind is clouded a bit. And do youself a favor: don't call him or answer his phone calls. Take some personal time out to focus on who you were before you met him. Sometimes we tend to lose ourselves to someone else. So, take some time away from him and you might just realize you're better off without him anyway. I know it's hard, but you're young and still have so much ahead of you! Good luck.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico + , writes (9 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntIt seems to me that you should let go. We could use some more information, but it seems like he is not interested in you anymore.

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