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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 1 November 2010: A stamp collection and books... sound very flammable to me.
Could explain why she refuses to give them back perhaps?... (read in full...)
Should I hang in there? I don't want to be played games with...
Q. I met a man at church and he will wink at me and we always look into each other eyes. last sunday i went up to him while he was sitting down and said good morning to him. he had a big smile on his face and he pulled my head down next to his. after ...
A. 1 November 2010: You may think you've done enough to show him you're interested simply by going up to him, but he may need more than that to convince him that you're keen... Don't forget- this guy has clearly been out of the dating game for a LONG time! Skills in ... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 31 October 2010: Very, very true..... (read in full...)
High sex drive, don't know what to do.
Q. I have a very high sex drive. I don't want to break my promise to God of having premarital sex. I don't want to do any of these things, but I am so tempted. I love this girl. I don't get hard or anything when I look at her or talk to her, but when I ...
A. 31 October 2010: Well stop thinking you have a very high sex drive... you're a teenage boy, your sex drive is through the roof- and that's perfectly normal. To say you have a very high sex drive is a hop skip and jump away from justifying to yourself that its ok to ... (read in full...)
This is driving me nuts... I'm heartbroken he cheated and we've not even met yet!
Q. whats happening???? I met a guy on the net 2 years ago and we have become very close, get on wicked its unreal and we have a great connection... he says he loves me and wants to marry me... we havent even met each other yet!!! he occasionally spi...
A. 31 October 2010: How did you find out that he slept with someone else?... (read in full...)
My teacher shouts at me around others but is nice in private. What does it mean?
Q. my teacher is grumpy in front of others and shouts at me and points out my flaws but when i go to ask for doubts privately he acts so sweet and he brushes on me and acts as if nothing wrong has happened, what does he have in mind?...
A. 31 October 2010: Shouts at you and points out your flaws?? Example?... (read in full...)
Should I hang in there? I don't want to be played games with...
Q. I met a man at church and he will wink at me and we always look into each other eyes. last sunday i went up to him while he was sitting down and said good morning to him. he had a big smile on his face and he pulled my head down next to his. after ...
A. 31 October 2010: Well if you're going to wait around for him to make a move, at least give him a more concrete sign that you're interested. A green light for him that its ok to get closer to you basically...... (read in full...)
He's smoking again and I consider this like cheating!
Q. My boyfriend and I are both 20 (almost 21) and have been together for a little over four months now. He was a smoker for two years before he started dating me and he told me he would quit once we started dating; that was the ultimatum I set for him ...
A. 31 October 2010: You told him you'd only date him if he quit smoking, so yeh, this could be considered a form of cheating. I wouldn't give him any wiggle room with this at all personally... if he thinks he can bend your ultimatum once, (and a very reasonable one at ... (read in full...)
Only one date in eight years; need some reassurance
Q. Hi. I am 34, single and never been married. I have had one relationship, with a woman, for 10 months, eight and a half years ago. Since then, I have been on one date. I have made friends, like I had an older gay guy friend for two years. Then...
A. 31 October 2010: Why does your profile say that you're a guy? The whole transgender thing is very confusing to me, I don't really understand it... would it be fair to say that most people don't? Hmm.. you didn't know what your question was... and it seems I don't ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a STD?
Q. Very personal question- I'm sexually active and I'm afraid I may have an STD. I have these tiny bumps on the inside of my vagina but only towards the bottom. They itch like crazy and hurt sometimes, especially if I scratch them. I get temporary ...
A. 31 October 2010: Could be yeh... see a doc asap.... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should even try to make my marriage work or not.
Q. im 22 and im getting divorced. i was married for about 2 weeks then she left. she saw texts from girls that i did not think was bad but she blew it up and left. she said she was still in love with ehr x and wanted to be with him but she says ...
A. 31 October 2010: Sounds like she was just looking for an excuse to go back to her ex and she may have overblown those msgs in order to do that... But that kinda depends on what the msgs said..... (read in full...)
If you make a mistake do you own up to it?
Q. Hey just a general question. If you make a genuine mistake, and then lie about it, would you say you was bad person? What if you wouldn't get found out, but your conscience preys on you? Would you finally own up, even though you know people woul...
A. 31 October 2010: Why would people be shocked and your reputation in tatters if it was a GENUINE mistake? I think "mistake" and I think of someone simply tripping over when walking. If it was a genuine split second mistake then your conscience shouldn't be preying ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to think of a way to get really good revenge on my ex
Q. I hate my ex girlfriend. And I can't stop thinking about getting revenge on her. First I will give you some background on the situation. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. The last year we lived together. When we didn't live together I thought ...
A. 31 October 2010: This is a battle you can't win... if she can conjure up and actually believe that you're cheating on her from a "happy birthday" msg then of course she's going to think you're responsible for anything that she could consider to be "revenge". From ... (read in full...)
Why do they only seem to want to be friends with me?
Q. Hi! My situation is wired because I'm 22 and I'm still virgin. I'm not ugly but always I have problem to have relationships. Some of the girls are curious to know me but after we pass some time everything changes and most of them want to be only be ...
A. 31 October 2010: Here's an example of what could be happening here...
Lets say "Bob" is at work. He works with a few girls and treats them as mates, isn't really trying to get into their pants as he works with them. So he acts like himself and is quite comforta... (read in full...)
My husband is living with his mistress but says he loves me
Q. Hi. My husband has moved out and in with his mistress. He met her on facebook and had an online relationship with her for several months before meeting in person. I found out shortly after, but he did not end the affair and now lives with her, has ...
A. 31 October 2010: I'm used to telling people that I think they are over-reacting- but you seem to be under-reacting to me. If you're not expressing to him how unacceptable this is then I can understand why he might act "normal" when he does see you. He seems to ... (read in full...)
How much baggage is too much baggage?
Q. How much baggage is too much, should it matter anyway? Am I to swallow my pride and move on. How do I stop thinking of the negative ? Ive been with my girlfriend for just over a year now. Prior to that I was in a long term relationship straig...
A. 31 October 2010: These are pretty normal feelings, don't feel shallow for feeling them. At the end of the day if its an issue for you- then its an issue. If you can't get over this or will never cherish her the same way then it may be best to move on.... (read in full...)
Does a man ever suggest to 'have sex for fun' even if he is truly interested in a woman ?
Q. Does ever a man suggest to 'have sex for fun' even if he is truly interested in a woman ? Or is this always a sign that he has no emotional interest in her?...
A. 31 October 2010: If he was truly interested why would he say "for fun"??... (read in full...)
My mood swings are jeopardizing the relationship
Q. Im a lesbian. and ive been with my gf for 2 and a half years. We were planning to move in together by the end of this month. We are both 18 and want to go to the same uni. So we were planning on flatting or rentin' an apartment. But lately my ...
A. 31 October 2010: You say that they are little fights, but little fights about what? Is there a pattern behind what you tend to fight about the most?... (read in full...)
Mistress is threating to tell my wife about us
Q. I feel like I'm about to lose the best thing that ever happened for me behind ignorance. I know everyone's probably going to say I deserve it and I probably due but no one's perfect. I told my mistress that we needed to sto and she's threatening to ...
A. 31 October 2010: I agree with C.Grant... take the venom out of your mistresses black mail by being a man and telling your wife. There is no easy option for you here I'm afraid...... (read in full...)
Is 9 times too much in a day?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been dating two years and have recently become a long distance relationship. We met at a hotel between the two of us a few weeks ago and he was able to finish multiple times within only a few hours. probably about 4 times. ...
A. 31 October 2010: Other than chaffage, not really. He's not doing it 9 times a day everyday though is he?... (read in full...)
I can't even get a one night stand!
Q. Why is it so hard to get into a relationship? I can't even get a date only a one night stand. The men that want me are too feminine, if i wanted a sensitive partner id turn to women. All the stuck up preps get the guy while the socially awkward girl ...
A. 31 October 2010: Its all about finding someone who is somewhere between the two extremes... the overly feminine, shy, nice guy and the cocky, confident jerk. ... (read in full...)
Was a broken condom accidental or otherwise?
Q. Something I've always wondered. I had a friend who became a friend-with-benefits. A couple months back we got together. Beforehand we were talking. She knew I wasn't seeing anyone else and when the subject turned to sex, she asked me if I've ...
A. 30 October 2010: You bring the condoms from now on- then you won't have these suspicions... But be careful just in case... ... (read in full...)
Cherry popped?
Q. how do you know when a guy has 'popped your cherry'??...
A. 30 October 2010: Penis in vagina... Simple no?... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? I'm scared of everything
Q. Hello. I am 13 yrs. old. I am in the 8th grade. I dont have many friends. I dont really like people, and people dont really like me, but I want friends. I hope it will get better in high school, but I dont think so, and I dont know why I think ...
A. 30 October 2010: You sound to me like a fairly intelligent 13 year old... so I hope you take this advice on board when I say I recommend seeing a psych- trust me, after some of the people they see everyday they're NOT going to think your crazy, nor judge you, nor ... (read in full...)
Will he be more likely to contact me if I stop trying to contact him?
Q. I have broken up with my boyfriend,2 weeks ago.He hasn't contacted me although i did email him and text him but no response.Does the "No Contact" rule actually works? I read on a website that if you want your lover back then he has to miss you 1st ...
A. 29 October 2010: Even in the instances when the "no contact" rule works, (which you've already broken twice by the way)- consider this: If missing their ex-partner was what brought them back and not any change to the situation which caused the break up, whats ... (read in full...)
Do guys check out other girls to make their girlfriend mad?
Q. Im have a question that id love peoples input on. Do guys check out other girls in front of their girlfriends knowing that it makes the girlfriend mad and do they do it for that reason? Or do they really not notice. Every guy ive been serious with ...
A. 29 October 2010: "As a matter of fact, many men do this KNOWINGLY just to push women's buttons in order to know where they stand with a girl. THEY KNOW AS LONG AS SHE GETS JEALOUS AND UPSET, they HAVE HEr."
I have to disagree with that statement, I don't know wha... (read in full...)
I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: Yeh, I'm pretty much the worst guy you'd meet when it comes to using a phone... so I'm pretty confident when I say that anymore than 3 days and he's either:
1) Playing a game (ie, not contacting you deliberately, not to seem too keen, trying t... (read in full...)
Can this relationship grow?
Q. My boyfriend and I don't have anything in common. He has things that he like to do and the same for me. He stated to me that he don't think our relationship will grow because we don't have anything in common. He wanted me to listen to this song of ...
A. 29 October 2010: Sounds like the lyrics could mean something to him that's deeper than simply sounding "cool". Could be expressing how he feels at the moment but can't articulate himself, could even be related to you? Shooting blindly here, but they're all ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a married man to get his mistress pregnant on purpose?
Q. I want to know how married men perceive on this matter. Is it possible for a married man to make their mistress or other woman get pregnant intentionally? Like he wants her to get pregnant?...
A. 29 October 2010: I can't really think of a motive as to why he might do that... she's a mistress for a reason, (ie, he doesn't want to leave his wife for whatever reason) and generally kept at a distance- very separate from his life with his wife & kids. Getting ... (read in full...)
Do guys check out other girls to make their girlfriend mad?
Q. Im have a question that id love peoples input on. Do guys check out other girls in front of their girlfriends knowing that it makes the girlfriend mad and do they do it for that reason? Or do they really not notice. Every guy ive been serious with ...
A. 29 October 2010: Well said person12345... :)... (read in full...)
Does being on birth control make me a slut?
Q. I am 14 years old and i am on birth control without a bf does that make me a slut or a whore or anything on thoes means ???? ...
A. 29 October 2010: No, it means you're smarter than a vast majority of your peers.... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose?
Q. How long should I wait for my boyfriend to propose? Without giving him any kind of specific time limit, or making it too obvious that I'm waiting? It would be preferable if he did it on his own. But how long is too long to wait?...
A. 29 October 2010: You need to know his thoughts on marriage and settling down in general first... and drop just enough hints so that he starts thinking about it, but not too many as to make him feel like you are pressuring him.
A fine balance if you ask me.
Good-... (read in full...)
Do guys like red heads for anything more than sex?
Q. I have naturally long, dark red hair and have never really liked it. Guys seem to like it, and i've been told it's "hot". I'm thinking about dying it dark brown, but i'm not sure whether to or not. Sometimes i think guys are just interested or ...
A. 29 October 2010: Noooo!! My two most serious relationships have been with redheads :P I read somewhere recently that some scientists say redheads make up less than 2% of the world population and because of recessive genes- they could be nearly extinct by the year ... (read in full...)
Airports new "feel you up" measure is crossing the lines!
Q. ok. who was watching cnn this morning? airports are bringing in some new security measures and its getting personal. i watched (on cnn) an employee run her hand between and right under a female passengers breasts. they touch your butt and quickly ...
A. 29 October 2010: We're not talking about attacks in airports, we're talking about the potential damage and loss of life that can occur on or with a hijacked plane. You make it sound like the person doing the frisking is a sleazy old pervert... they're nothing but ... (read in full...)
Devastated after my mother's death. Help me..
Q. My muother has just passed away and i feel i cant cope any more i just dont know what to do my life has been ripped apart i was so so close to her i dont know what to do any advise please!...
A. 29 October 2010: Sorry to hear that mate, my mum just got told she probably has 2 months to live by the doctor so I can totally see myself in your position in the near future. I've certainly had a good cry about it I'm not ashamed to admit... but whatever happens ... (read in full...)
Why won't he perform oral on me?
Q. My boyfriend simply won't go down on me. We have been sexually active for over 3 months and I've received it maybe 6 times. I give him head all the time, hoping to get some in return, but he claims he just has to be in the mood for it. I can't stand ...
A. 29 October 2010: Ha, yeh, no perfume on the crotch... you wouldn't sniff your perfume bottle for any longer than 5 seconds, don't make us do it for (x) minutes :) ... (read in full...)
Airports new "feel you up" measure is crossing the lines!
Q. ok. who was watching cnn this morning? airports are bringing in some new security measures and its getting personal. i watched (on cnn) an employee run her hand between and right under a female passengers breasts. they touch your butt and quickly ...
A. 29 October 2010: How about airlines do what restaurants used to do by having a non-smoking area and a smoking area... except offering flights with security screening and flights without.
Doesn't take a genius to guess which ones are most likely to be targeted... (read in full...)
I am not thrilled about the wild boy's night out before out wedding!
Q. Heyy guys I have a big problem on my hands that i really need some advice on. Me and my other half who have been together for quite a while have decided to get married, the wedding isnt until 2012 but its already being planned however all of h...
A. 29 October 2010: Just because one of his mates suggested he sleep with someone- doesn't mean that's what he wants to or will do. If you want to marry him then surely you can trust him enough to know that he won't do anything. ... (read in full...)
What does this reaction mean?
Q. What does it mean when somebody who sees you stiffens and walks of quickly?...
A. 29 October 2010: or they need to go to the toilet.... (read in full...)
I've made a list of questions I'd like to ask him! But should I ask?
Q. I made a short little list of things that i want to ask this guy that ive been sorta going out with for maybe almost a month now but we only meet on weekends because he is busy (home improvement) which im first hand witness of by the way. it started ...
A. 29 October 2010: Somehow I don't think he's going to give you the insightful answers you seek... may just get more "whatever"s..... (read in full...)
I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: 3 days max if I was actually interested I'd say... again, its not deliberate or calculated, but I hate using my phone, I prefer face to face so I'm not that bothered if somebody takes offense to me not replying- they wouldn't like being with me and ... (read in full...)
Why won't he perform oral on me?
Q. My boyfriend simply won't go down on me. We have been sexually active for over 3 months and I've received it maybe 6 times. I give him head all the time, hoping to get some in return, but he claims he just has to be in the mood for it. I can't stand ...
A. 29 October 2010: Some guys just don't like doing it... not a lot you can do about it really if he already knows that you want it more... You could try only going down on him when he goes down on you for a while.. maybe he'll see where your coming from when he asks ... (read in full...)
I thought things went well the other night but he hasn't texted me back
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to get some advice on something. Well I've been into this guy for a good while now, met him at my cousin's house one day and something really attracted me to him. He's good friends with my cousins so I dunno if this is the ...
A. 29 October 2010: "If a guy likes you he'll text you back and not leave your texts hanging. However, if he's not interested then there's no sense in answering your texts. Guys are simple, that don't play games or send off signals, they don't know how to do it and ... (read in full...)
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