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... Send *ay12toes a private message | | | *ay12toes's profile:I have always felt like i give good sound advice, i am kind and careing but to be honest it was the fact that i needed some help that brought me to this site. can a man ask himself a question that he dousnt know the answer to and get the right answer from himself. i know many things but not everything, sometimes i can tell you exactly the right thing to do and other times be just as confused as you. i guess thats one of the many things that makes us human. no one can do it alone. |
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| Latest articles: Happy New Year, everyone.
No replies yet... 1 January 2009: Happy Newyear everyone. and so a new year begins, take a moment and reflect on what you have done this past year. now think about your plans to do this year. we have hit the point thats almost like starting over. this is a time when you can take a ...
Please love me
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2008: I once told my fience that most people would rather be in a bad relationship then be alone, she thought i was crazy. i said this because a good friend of mine is in a relationship where he is not apprieciated and gets talked down to alot. my fience ...
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Should we wait until we're teens?
Q. There's this really cute girl at my violin class (I'm home schooled so i don't see many girls) and I'm 12 and she is 10. My friend Jason who is 30 (met online) says since she is still basically a child I should wait a few years. Do you think i ...
A. 10 June 2008: i think hes just asking if he should wait to start dateing until hes in his teen. well once again i think your a good age to have a girlfriend, besides its good for yourself esteem. i didnt have my first girlfriend until i was.... well actualy now ... (read in full...)
She's not answering me -- Help!!
Q. my g/f broke up with me 3 weeks ago. we still talk every day mainly through text mess. she always ans. my text back but lately she doesnt always ans back. she does have a 2nd job that causes her to work late, but she starts a new one next week at ...
A. 10 June 2008: i still sorta stick with my first answer but im betting that it would be too much trouble for you to get her back. like its been proven, she dousnt want to get back together yet, which means it would probably be awhile befor she would take you back. ... (read in full...)
Is he only with me because I'm curvey? I'm insecure about his porn watching, should I give him a chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just over three years and throughout the relationship I've made it clear that I'm a bit insecure about my body and that if I found out he'd been looking at other women it would crush my confidence. I rece...
A. 10 June 2008: i agree with talbott, hes with you because he loves you. and porn is just there for us to look at when our significant other is not around. theres a good chance that if your boyfriend had naked pictures of you then he wouldnt need porn. thats what i ... (read in full...)
I feel hopeless right now, I want to split up but the dogs are keeping me with him!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 years. We have 3 beautiful dogs together. He has made it clear recently that he does not want to get married or have children even though he knows I want children more ...
A. 10 June 2008: its understandable, theres no point in staying with someone that you know what give you what you want out of a relationship. like marriage and kids. so im figuring you dont have any family close by... cause most people usally look to family first ... (read in full...)
When I asked if she'd mind if I kissed her, she said that there was no harm in experimenting! What do you make of this?
Q. I'm really good friends with this girl. We talk alot. Everyday. One day I asked if she wud ever go out with me, and she said no she doesnt like me more than a friend. Than I get messages from her like couples how much I mean to her n she luvs me ...
A. 10 June 2008: well did you kiss her? if she let you kiss her then it was more then a joke, which is a good sign. but other then that its hard to say. its possible that she never thought of you as anything more then a friend until you asked her out, now mabey shes ... (read in full...)
I'm separated but still have feelings for my ex husband but I still love my boyfriend...who do I choose?!
Q. I am currently seperated but still have feelings for my ex husband and still love my boyfriend? How do I know who to choose?...
A. 10 June 2008: i dont think it would be very fair to your boyfriend to just leave him for your ex. he hasnt done anything to deserve that, right? and things have already failed once with your ex, so i think you would be better off staying with your boyfriend. love ... (read in full...)
What goes on in guys' heads? And keep in mind we've broken up...
Q. my bf and i have been broken up for about 3 weeks now. Very stupid reason why, but anyways, we broke up before and maybe shouldn't even be together( i don't want advice on that I KNOW LET IT GO!!) Anyways i just want a guys input. He left me ...
A. 10 June 2008: well i would say that hes either thinking it over or he wants you to call him again. i highly doubt that hes just messing with you though. so i guess you should just give him another call.... (read in full...)
I have a major crush on my teacher and he shows me extra attention, what do I do?
Q. I'm currently doing my A levels at my school, and are being taught by a teacher whom i've had for 3-4 years now. I have THE biggest crush on him, but to be honest, i'm not going to make a move or anything because i think everyone knows what will hap...
A. 9 June 2008: how much longer do you have befor your out of school. once your out, then you wont have to deal with it anymore. i dont feel like that helps but i dont know what else to tell you.... (read in full...)
I'm studying abroad. I like a girl here but I have only two months left here. Should I ask her out?
Q. So I have been studying abroad for about 9 months and have almost 2 months exactly left. I am 22 years old, will be 23 in a few months and haven't had experience with dating for the last few years. The last "girlfriend" I had was in High School. ...
A. 9 June 2008: i dont think it would be a bad idea for you to ask her out, but it would be hard for this to be a seriouse relationship once you returned home. so i would say go out with her, but dont make her your girlfriend because unless you are willing to go ... (read in full...)
All my mates have done things with boys but I'm really scared to do things
Q. Hello well im a girl at the age of 15 and all my mates have done things with boys but im really scared to do things what could i do about it?? i wouldnt mind doing things with boys but not sex at the age please help me write back please x ...
A. 9 June 2008: one thing i always remember is that you can never have a secound first time, for example you cant have a secound first kiss. once youv had your first kiss you cant get it back. so dont do anything with someone that you think you might want back.... (read in full...)
Do you think he messed up my relationship?
Q. Hello. I'm just weeks away from being 17, and I'm a little confused. There's this boy, "Brian", that I've known since I was 8 years old (my first kiss and everything!) and that I'm now interested in. We tend to drift apart for awhile and then ...
A. 9 June 2008: thats good to hear, i wish you the best of luck.... (read in full...)
Do you think he messed up my relationship?
Q. Hello. I'm just weeks away from being 17, and I'm a little confused. There's this boy, "Brian", that I've known since I was 8 years old (my first kiss and everything!) and that I'm now interested in. We tend to drift apart for awhile and then ...
A. 9 June 2008: the only way you can find out whats going on is by taling to him, and since you cant seem to get a hold of him, you have no choice but to wait. i still think you should send one more message when its hit a week since your last try. i dont feel like ... (read in full...)
Can this feeling last forever?
Q. I have always thought that marriage is a really bad idea. I mean, almost every couple I know is just a disaster. Nothing ever seems to last - and personally, I know myself, and I know how impatient I am. I'm not made for it. But now I'm hopeless...
A. 8 June 2008: ok if you want to be with her forever then you need to get married. are you so afraid that it wont work later on that you would ruin it now. im betting that you girlfriend wont want to be with someone who wont marry her which means if you decide ... (read in full...)
She's not answering me -- Help!!
Q. my g/f broke up with me 3 weeks ago. we still talk every day mainly through text mess. she always ans. my text back but lately she doesnt always ans back. she does have a 2nd job that causes her to work late, but she starts a new one next week at ...
A. 8 June 2008: it swounds like she wants to give it another try but she dousnt want to yet, and she dousnt want to talk about it. she just wants to go out and have fun with you. why did she break up with you in the first place? if you dont know, then dont ask her, ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous and suspicious of my BF -- Help!!
Q. Hi i really find it difficult to trust my boyfriend he has never cheated or anything im just very jealous and untrusting. I saw my mum have alot of bad experiences. Little things really get to me its like i need to control everything i hate it when ...
A. 8 June 2008: ok just take it easy, if theres no signs of him cheating then most likely hes not, so theres nothing to be worried about. but if you keep up the distrust he will get upset. your the one he wants to be with so relax.... (read in full...)
I was accused of cheating on him!
Q. We had a long distance relationship for 5 months, things were going well, then suddenly he accused me of being unfaithfull, still refuse to give any reasons where and why, however he is back in the country, we have not seen each other, but are in ...
A. 8 June 2008: well first off, long distance relationships have a hard time of working out... sad but true. so already mr.b is in the lead. then mr.a is accusing you of cheating, which could mean mr.a was cheating. so theres another point for mr.b, also mr.a wont ... (read in full...)
What happens after a year?
Q. Hi I was just wondering if its possible for someone to still like you/ have feelings for you even if they haven't seen you for over a year? thanks for any help...
A. 8 June 2008: yes feelings can last that long. theres a small part of me that will always belong to my ex, even though i would never take her back. so if this person felt strongly for you and you never hurt that person befor then theres a good chance those ... (read in full...)
If I ask, will he?
Q. We're attracted to each other, we've flirted but I think he wants me to make the first move. If I tell him I want to have sex with him, will he turn me down?...
A. 8 June 2008: that depends, are you dateing or just flirting because you really should go on a few dates befor you bring him home. but most men dont turn down sex.... which is kinda sad sometimes but nevermind. so theres a good chance that he will want to.... (read in full...)
Please help me with my body-image issues!!
Q. Him I'm 19 y/o. I have a stupid problem, and feel so down about it :( The problem is that I'm very sensitive to the images in the media. So I feel very down about my body. I'm average I guess. I'm not really thin, but I'm not overweight. It...
A. 8 June 2008: first off, whats on the inside is more important, most men dont like wemon who arent nice. which leads me to my secound statement, most of those models and such wouldnt give your boyfriend the time of day. hes with you because you have a good ... (read in full...)
I'n not sure where we're headed -- do you know?
Q. I'm a bit worried about my relationship with my gf, I really dont know where it is going. i'm kinda thinking about that i would like to have children, but my girlfriend has no interest in these things. i kinda think that if i'm gonna want it one ...
A. 8 June 2008: if you were happy with her once that means you can be happy with her again. you really need to talk to her about it, tell her how you feel so that you can both work on your relationship. as for the kids thing, its best to wait until your married, ... (read in full...)
Hot for teacher!
Q. i know this question is gonna sound PSYHCOTIC(however you spell it....lol)but here goes..i have feelings for my teacher and he recently "found" out....my question is should i confront him about it one day afterschool (since this will be my last week ...
A. 8 June 2008: i would suggest waiting till next yeah and hopeing it fades because it would be unethical for a teacher to date a student, which i do understand your not looking for a relationship, but if your not then theres no reason to talk to him about. if ... (read in full...)
Separated wife dated and I can't deal with it! Help!!
Q. why cant i get over my wife dating someone when we were seperated? weve been married for 13 years, i had some withdraw problems 2 years ago when my mom died then we grew apart and she accused me of having an affair. after months of fighting my wife ...
A. 8 June 2008: you got her back. you won. so theres no need to bring up this other guy. she decided she wants you, not him. so dont bring up things that happened while you wernt together, unless you want her to leave you again. just be happy that shes with you now ... (read in full...)
Do you think he messed up my relationship?
Q. Hello. I'm just weeks away from being 17, and I'm a little confused. There's this boy, "Brian", that I've known since I was 8 years old (my first kiss and everything!) and that I'm now interested in. We tend to drift apart for awhile and then ...
A. 8 June 2008: how often dose he usally go on myspace? how long ago did he stop talking to you? its possible thta he has been really busy so he hasnt gotten on to myspace. is that your only way to contact him? i think you should give it a week, if he dousnt call ... (read in full...)
How do you feel when you fall in love?
Q. How do you feel when you fall in love? Do you feel sweaty, nervous, excited, overwhelmed? When someone says to you that they romantically love you, do you think they truly mean it? Romantic love is quite complex. It is the feeling in your brain that ...
A. 8 June 2008: love...... im smileing just thinking about how i feel for my fience. i love her enough to ask her to marry me and she loves me enough to say yes.
thanks, i just feel really good now.... (read in full...)
Would this be considered dating?
Q. I've been talking to my friend almost everyday or at least every other day for an hour or three. We been to vegas and hawaii together alone. We both recently brokened up with our ex's. We have not yet talked about hooking up or telling eachother ...
A. 8 June 2008: ok i see evidence that she wants to be with you, but your not dateing yet. you need to ask her how she feels. dont be surprised if shes not ready for a relationship yet, considering that she did just break up with her ex. also keep in mind that if ... (read in full...)
Am I no longer in love with him?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy that I have known for almost 5 years. We used to be best friend and we had a little fling the summer after high school but then we went to college and we separated. We still talked every once in ...
A. 8 June 2008: how much have things changed? how often do you go out on dates with eachother? mabey you need to go somewhere new, take a vacation with him. but i do also agree with bnaner, some time apart might do you some good. oh and buy him some good looking ... (read in full...)
Have I scared my BF away by telling him the truth?
Q. ok,so ive just been txin me boiifrend,and i keep asking him these question like "why do you say you love me,when u probably dont mean it" keep in mind we're only young, and i mean young, but he assures me he does mean it but then he says, why do u ...
A. 8 June 2008: it is possible to believe your in love at such a young age, which means when he said it its possible that he ment it. stoping asking him that though cuz your probably hurting his feelings everytime you ask.... (read in full...)
He's running hot, then cold, then hot... what's up?
Q. Please help! about 2 months ago the guy id been going out with for 7 months said he "needed space" after really smothering ME (but whatever). After he made it so I had no one else in my life like friends (I had been a popular, well-adj...
A. 8 June 2008: ok from what i can tell he dousnt want you and he dousnt want you to be with anyone else. he wants his freedom but dousnt want you to have yours. so no i dont think you want to waste anymore time on him. try to avoid him and keep him out of you ... (read in full...)
Help me get her back!!
Q. hey, me and my girl having been dating for a really long time and we thought it was time to have sex,that night we really did have sex but in the basement so no one could hear,but the next morning she was saying her legs her really bad,and she coul...
A. 8 June 2008: you dont have enough info here, you need to talk to her and find out why she broke up with you. if you dont know the problem you cant fix it.... (read in full...)
Should we wait until we're teens?
Q. There's this really cute girl at my violin class (I'm home schooled so i don't see many girls) and I'm 12 and she is 10. My friend Jason who is 30 (met online) says since she is still basically a child I should wait a few years. Do you think i ...
A. 8 June 2008: i think she might be a little young but your a good age to have a girlfriend, so if shes the one you want then i guess theres no reason to wait till shes older.... (read in full...)
Is he gay or just afraid of me?
Q. I apologize in advance for this being so long. I am in love with a boy I met in college, and as a result of his behavior towards me I am physically ill. I cannot sleep because I have nightmares of him leaving me, I cannot eat, I cannot function. I ...
A. 8 June 2008: ok first just take it easy, try not to get so stressed out that it causes you harm. secound i dont think hes gay... i could be wrong but i dont think so. when you get complimented it feels good especially if you have low self esteem. he probably ... (read in full...)
I'm completely confused!!
Q. ok so things seem to be getting a little better. atleast we are not yelling at each other any more but now its really getting me upset and confused because when she talks to me on the phone she still knows we are married just kinda denys it then ...
A. 8 June 2008: so your married but she dosent live with you any more, is that right? yes i think it would be important for you to ask her about the myspace thing. if she dousnt want to be with you anymore she needs to let you know so you dont waste your time. you ... (read in full...)
Long-distance BF seems to be pushing me away!
Q. I am feeling a bit confused right now regarding my boyfriend, who I am in a long distance relationship with, and his feelings for me. He has been very preoccupied and busy with work lately, but I keep thinking he is making excuses not to spend time ...
A. 8 June 2008: well for starters, long distance relationships have a hard time of working out... sad but true. whats going on in your life? would it be possible to make it less of a distance? how long have you been together? mabey you should move in with him. if ... (read in full...)
Having problems in the family!
Q. help. my cousin is addopted and he is about 5years younger than me, but i really dont get along with him, hes 7 at the moment and he has serious issues.it seems as though he has everyone wrapped around his little finger and when im around, it doesnt ...
A. 7 June 2008: how often do you have to see him? you would do best just to try and avoid him, eventualy he will get older and no one will think hes cute and innocent and they will see his true side. i understand that dousnt help you in the short term so for now ... (read in full...)
I have a new crush. Should I follow my passion?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years (since I was 18) and have fallen out of love with him. We are more like friends and live quite separate lives. Our sex life is non existent and I'm not sure where our future lies. I have developed a crush ...
A. 7 June 2008: ok first a crush is just a crush and should be ignored, but you dont want to be bumbling along either. what has changed? what made you fall in love with him in the first place? whens the last time you two went out on a date? how long ago did you ... (read in full...)
I have an issue with my confidence that holds me back from socialising...
Q. i really feel like the time is right for me to get a girlfriend but i have an issue with my confidence that holds me back. i simply dont have the courage to talk to anybody i like the look of but when they speak to me i again do not have the ...
A. 7 June 2008: i understand your problem because have felt the same way, about a week ago i just wanted to tell this girl that she looked nice but i was afraid to, i said to myself "just say it, im sure she wont take the wrong way, just be nice and say it." i was ... (read in full...)
I need to be more in control. What can I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out now for 9 months. We love each other dearly and we have sex. Things though, have changed since we started to go out, and i have recently told him that i need to have a say in things, as that is what he wants ...
A. 7 June 2008: you need to tell him that if he agrees to do something with you then he is obligated to do that, and then if he dousnt know whether or not he can do that thing with you then he needs to not agree to do it. once he says yes then its a date and your ... (read in full...)
We started off great but where are going now.?
Q. I'm 14 an Ive been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. we started off great but now i dunno where we are going. we cant see each other that often due to her living about 30miles away and the fact she refuses to tell her parents about us. It's ...
A. 7 June 2008: long distance relationships have a hard time of working out, especially if neither of you can drive. the fact that she hasnt told her parents about you after 6 mounths is also a bad sign. it might not be easy but i think you should give up on this ... (read in full...)
Could he be he is scared of commitment because he was a virgin?
Q. i was my my best friends first. he was a virgin. i am in love with him but he dosent want to be in a committed relationship right now..... but yet we continue to fool around. does he love me? could he be scared of commit ? or is he just in it for ...
A. 7 June 2008: why did you have sex with him if you werent dateing?
it is possible that now that hes had sex hes curiose about what else is out there, so he dousnt want to get tied down. either way you should try and find out what exactlys on his mind.... (read in full...)
How can we get privacy?
Q. I've only been with my boyfriend for almost 3months, but we've kind of been on/off before that as i've known him sinse i was about 6 even though he's in the year above. I know you young people arn't supposed to know what "love" actually is, but i ...
A. 7 June 2008: at your age you will be watched a lot, i know that when i was younger my parents used to have me go and check on my older brother and his girlfriend to make sure they werent doing the same things that your looking to do. my parents also never let us ... (read in full...)
What do I need to do to see a positive ending to this situation?
Q. I have read a few articles on here but i dont feel like any are the same as what im going threw so please read this and offer your opinion. My girlfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 years. A month ago she broke things off with me before s...
A. 7 June 2008: you really dont have much of a choice but to wait, when the 2 of you start talking again be on your best behavior and dont ask her to make any promisis. she says she loves you so just act like the guy she loves and be patient. when she comes back ... (read in full...)
She loves me too , but she has a boyfriend
Q. Last year I met this girl and I completly fell in love with her. She has a boyfriend , but she was like everyday visiting me at my house ,because it wasn't going well in her relation...
A. 7 June 2008: cheating is wrong, and helping someone cheat is kinda bad too. this is not a good relationship for you especially if she wont leave him. shes trying to have it all, and people who try to have it all should have it all taken from them. so i would say ... (read in full...)
He wants me to just forget about his cheating...
Q. my husband of 13 yrs, had an affair with someone I know, lasting 18 months. I always knew there was something going on, but was told bt=y him, that I was mad. He physically abused me, continued to want sex, and told me I was ungrateful, and had ...
A. 7 June 2008: if you forgive him then theres a good chance he will do it again.
if you steal a cookie and your punishment is just someone saying it was bad you will likely do it again but if you steal a cookie and your mom chops off your hand you wont ever stea... (read in full...)
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