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I have a new crush. Should I follow my passion?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years (since I was 18) and have fallen out of love with him. We are more like friends and live quite separate lives. Our sex life is non existent and I'm not sure where our future lies. I have developed a crush on a man at work which I have no intention of acting upon whilst in a relationship. Do I leave my kind, loyal, sweet boyfriend who I live with quite happily but lacking passion or do I stay and bumble along?

View related questions: at work, crush, sex life

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (7 June 2008):

There is no reason to be unhappy. If you dont love him anymore then it is time to move on. Everyone deserves to be loved and going without it can be very hard. I think you should move on but maybe if you did talk to him then things might get better, but it will more than likely be a small spark adn then be gone again!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008):

Ask him if he loves you, and would he go back the way you used to be, and ask him if he's in love with someone else, or does he dislike you in any way, and tell him if it is a negative answer you wouldn't mind, you'd be alright just leaving him be...

But then if he says he loves you, ask him to explain why you've become detached, and ask him what is it in you that he dislikes; tell him that you're like good friends, and you wouldn't mind helping him find someone new or whatever... and see how he responds.

Just ask questions, and try to compromise, it would be evil of you to just stop loving him because you want someone else now! But if it becomes manifest that he wants someone else then you move on... compromise first.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008):

It does not sound as if you have a relationship, rather as if you have a room mate or flatmate.

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?

If not get out and move on!

There is more to life, get some fun and excitement back, and vow, nothing wrong with a healthy sexlife!

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A male reader, jay12toes United States +, writes (7 June 2008):

jay12toes agony auntok first a crush is just a crush and should be ignored, but you dont want to be bumbling along either. what has changed? what made you fall in love with him in the first place? whens the last time you two went out on a date? how long ago did you fall out of love? look at these questions, find where it went wrong, and get your passion back.

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