A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:why cant i get over my wife dating someone when we were seperated? weve been married for 13 years, i had some withdraw problems 2 years ago when my mom died then we grew apart and she accused me of having an affair. after months of fighting my wife said she wanted a divorce until the papers arrived i didnt take her serious then realized how much i loved her. she told me it was too late, moved out got her own place. we argued thru our lawyers for 4 months then she asked to come back home. things were great for 8 months then i found old emails she had from a guy dated from a few weeks before she left till a week before she came back. when i confronted her with them she claimed she only went out with him one for lunch and the whole thing meant nothing.
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female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 I agree with the other posters...you need to look at what you want here - from what you wrote you got your wish, your wife has come home. It sounds like both of you have had hurdles and issues to deal with in the past year or so - you've both been through alot and it has taken a toll on your marriage...but you have 'realised' how much you love each other and want to be together again. Of course it is difficult for you to think of her dating or being interested in another guy...but she is there with YOU now...that says a lot. I think the two of you could really benefit from seeing a relationship counsellor together - to really nut out what went wrong before and what you both need to happen now to ensure a stronger, more positive life together. It is often hard to have these kind of discussions without a neutral, mediator...cause "old stuff" and old communication styles keep coming back to interfer. This will also perhaps help you both talk about why you are drawn back to each other - the underlying love and what you value about each other...which is what you need to hear right now. YOu will have lots of fears and doubts after what's gone on...both of you, but there is no reason why your relationship can't be stronger than ever if you are both comitted to that! Let the past be the past...grab your present with both hands!
A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Yes you can deal with it. Will being upset over it change anything?
Be happy she came back and work on loving her.
Best wishes
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (8 June 2008):
 you got her back. you won. so theres no need to bring up this other guy. she decided she wants you, not him. so dont bring up things that happened while you wernt together, unless you want her to leave you again. just be happy that shes with you now and relax. and show her everyday that your glade she came back and that you apprieciate her.
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