A
female
age
36-40,
*ren
writes:I was best friends with this guy a little over four years. We have so much in common, we have a good time together, he makes me happy and treats me great. We have most recently been hanging out much more and our friendship has become a little more than a friendship. He always tells me how much he loves me and how we should be together. I love him also but I've just recently left a abusive reltionship with my ex-boyfriend. My ex and I have a 1 year old daughter together and he was very physically abusive towards me. I loved him with all my heart and he hurt me on so many occasions. Because of this I'am scared to take my relationship with my bestfriend to the next level. I have this fear of being hurt. I never want to feel pain like that ever again and I'm afraid to let my guard down because I feel like I will be giving him the ability to break my heart. I love this man he is a great friend and a great lover, but I dont know what to do because Im afraid to trust him. I need help
View related questions:
best friend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (16 July 2009):
 I think it would be a great idea to talk to him and let him know you want to take it slow. It's natural to feel wounded and distrustful after getting out of an abusive relationship, and natural to need space and time afterward to heal yourself. Just relax, concentrate on being a good mom and good woman and let things develop in time. A good guy will not rush you.
*hug* Good luck.
A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Explain how you feel to your soon to be bf.Let him know you care deeply for him but you haven`t recovered from your last relationship.You need to learn to trust again.There are a lot of evil people in this world,and they will find a way into your life.Thats not a reason to shut yourself off from the many decent people that are out there wanting to lift you up. If you need to move slow,but don`t let your life come to a stand still.I have been hurt many times.Never really physically but my heart carries emotional scars.Still I find life so much easier to give trust till its broken then to not trust at all.
...............................
A
female
reader, emma_lou658  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 After being in a domestic violence myself, I can definately understand your concerns over letting someone so close after giving your all to a person who in return left you with great emotional scars. Your guard has been given with you for a reason to protect you from further hurt. This is not to say that you do not deserve a loving, caring and warm relationship with a great man, it takes time for the wounds to heal and I hope your friend appreciates how you feel and doesn't put pressure on you for a relationship.
You shouldn't feel that you have to let someone else in so quickly, if you have feelings for this man then let nature take it's course and move with a pace that makes you feel comfortable. I'm sure as you get stronger you will begin to trust again.
...............................
|
