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I think my man is a pimp and I'm scared! What can I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2009) 12 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

please tell me if you think this sounds like something to do with organized crime-okay,so a few years ago I knew this girl who I'm sure was a prostitute-she would go to different men's houses and come back with cash-one day she took me to this man's house and he raped me-later I heard her bragging to her friend she set me up with him for £120,anyway I moved far away from her but then I caught her and some men following me one day[in my new area]-I kept noticing more and more people were involved-they would take it in turns to follow me in groups of two or three-not all at once,obviously but altogether there were about 20 of them-they are still following me now,5 years later. I haven't gone to the police because I was afraid I would just look crazy and they wouldn't do anything. Anyway,a few months after it started, I met this, much older,man-I'd never seen him with the stalking group and had no idea-he seemed the least likely person to be stalking someone and he wasn't remotely jealous or obsessive-I only used to talk to him a couple of times a week-however he always seemed to know things about my whereabouts or what I'd been up to that he shouldn't-then last year I caught him drive past me in a car with a girl I know to be involved with it-this was on a B road in the middle of no-where, near my mum's-we were having a walk- she didn't know what he looked like though so she thought I was making it up, this man has claimed to have never been out of his city and then I see him out there with her-if you beieive me you'll know thats dodgy,right? Anyway another time after this I'd been to see him and when I left at about 11 he said he was going to bed, I caught several buses to the other side of the city and when I got off the last one this boy started trying to chat me up, I was trying to get rid of him then he suddenly said where have you come from and my boyfriends area, which is a small area-basically it was a coincidence if he guessed it and he gave me a dodgy vibe, so I continued to walk with him cos I wanted to know what was going on,we eventually came to a t junction and he pulled me behind a parked car and said wait-then my boyfriend walked across the road in front! Anyway,we walked the way my boyfreind had gone and he told me to wait down this allyway cos he had to do something,I waited for a few minutes then peeked round the corner to see if I could see him-he was standing further up the road talking to my boyfriend!I don't know if this was some stunt to try and scare me or if the guy had actually paid my boyfreind to sleep with me-also he always asks me for money,

I'm scared not to give it to him cos once we had a fight over money and he gave me a nosebleed and he keeps dropping hints about how much prostitutes earn-I don't know if he's saying this to scare me cos he knows I wonder if hes a pimp or what-but I can't think why all these people would waste their time stalking me unless they think theyre going to make some money at some point. I'm too scared to dump the man cos he knows where I live anyway-even when I moved house again it didnt stop-they are so sneaky I dont think the police could catch them-I'm terrified the police would just fob me off or refer me to the mental health people,thus leaving me completely at the stalkers mercy-I can't even get the guy arrested for hitting me cos he forced me to say I hit him first and he recorded it on a dictophone-I know that would look weird if he handed it in to the police but it still"proves" it I have no witnesses,I've had endless rows with my mum because she dosen't beleive me-she is older and grew up in the country and she is very,very, unstreetwise-I could point something out to her and she still dosent notice. Does this sound like a prostitution organization to you or what? and what would you do if it was you-I can't just lose them-it's not as simple as that-they follow me literally everywere and even take it in turns to park outside my house and wait to see when I come out

View related questions: jealous, money, prostitute, stalking

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

you need to tell the police everything, and set up some sort of survalence in your home, so that if they do turn up, you can show this to the police, also take that mans advice, get a gun, do not take it with you anywhere, but certainly hide it from your boyfriend and thirdly, loose him, wait untill you have enough to prove to the police if possible then dump him

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A male reader, Jason32477 United States +, writes (16 July 2009):

Jason32477 agony aunt What about friends co-workers?Even with the risk of them following you I would suggest a change of location.Move to your mums temporarily till you find somewhere else to go.Maybe look through adds for room mates wanted.You don`t want to live alone.Get a can of mace/pepper spray,and keep it with you at all times.As for your bf,forget him.Anything you may have at his place leave it there.You have nothing there.Talk to real people because you need real help.And talk to the police even if you don`t think they will help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for believing me eventually and for the advice-by the way before you point out I said my mum didn't know what he looked like,she's spoken to him on the phone,same for my dad and the kids from school know him personally-I was in a children's home with that girl so I couldn't just not see her ever again-anyway I didn't know she set it up until a few weeks later but I guess she knew I might find out cos after we left the guys house and I told her what happened-she'd gone out for a while and left me there,she took me back to the kids home and told all the staff what had happened-thus making herself look innocent.They asked me if I wanted them to call the police but I said no cos the guy was a drug dealer and I thought if the police went round to arrest him and found all his drugs as well I would be screwed.When I asked my boyfriend what was going on he yelled at me and said watch what happens if you mention that again so I don't think trying to talk to him would lead anywhere.I don't really know where to stay-I have a flat but it's only got a front entrance on to the road-so if I leave they see me-also anyone can just walk into the building but it is in a busy town and I have neighbours-the other option is my mums house-which is in the middle of nowwhere-I am alone in the day when she's at work and to get into town I have to walk through the countryside-but then again she is always there at night-what do you reckon is the best bet?

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A male reader, Jason32477 United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

Jason32477 agony auntOk. I`m sorry for thinking you were crazy.... what did you do back when you were raped?If there is a police report from that it lends a lot of credibility to your story.Second,have you talked to your current bf about the situation at all.I`m thinking maybe as they follow you every where they bribed him or threatened him against you.Third they defiantly want something big from you.Human slavery/prostitution a high likely hood.After the time and effort they have put it there not likely to back off.If you was here I would get a gun but there thats not likely an option for you.Anything else is not going to be much of a deterrent to a mob of attackers.If this guy is already getting money from you you are already being extorted.Get your own sound/video recording device to make any future incidents easily provable.Contact the police.Even if they do nothing there is a record of complaint that will work in your favor as more events take place.Do not go anywhere alone.Get some nice sized scary looking dogs.Lose the boy friend.You are already in danger.Keeping him is not helping.Report it when they hang out outside.Maybe fib the truth a little and say they had just followed you home from the park or something.Cat calling and such and now they wont leave outside.How much can you seal your living area from intruders?Block windows barricade doors and such?If you alter your routine enough it may throw them off balance a little but it will hasten there actions against you.Do nothing and they will just be able to carry out whatever it is they already have planed.Talk to anyone that will listen.Talk to your neighbors, talk to the police, talk to an attorney.Hire an investigator.Right now fear is there main weapon.They have you so afraid that your not doing anything.I would not worry about that recording he`s got working against you.Odds are he has a criminal record 3 pages long working against him.DO NOT BE AFRAID TO GET HELP.Don`t walk anywhere and don`t go alone.Do you have any friends you can stay with.Anywhere with large groups of people is good.Your in a bad spot and i would be petrified.Anything you do might make is worse,but doing nothing is the worst option.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

er let me think,my mum,my dad,half my old college-by the way-do you think i'm imagining the photo I have of him-do you think I have an imaginary camera phone-or an imaginary computer to type on now?

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A male reader, Jason32477 United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

Jason32477 agony auntThat is exactly what I am suggesting.It was a simple question.Who do you know that knows your boy friend?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

you're mad-are you trying to say I have an imaginary boyfreind-youre the one who needs help love.

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A male reader, Jason32477 United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

Jason32477 agony auntNo no.I am defiantly not trying to make fun of you.Regardless if my assessment is right or not you have a serious situation on your hands,and need help.More help then this advice column can hope to give you. And yes I read your story through twice. So how did I come to my far fetched conclusion? Have you ever seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russel Crow? Your story reminds me of his paranoid delusional reality.So yes I think a lot of what you said only exists within the frame of your imagination. A simple way to prove me wrong. How many of your friends or family know your boy friend? If the answer is 0 then it gives a lot of credit to what I am saying. Regardless I am not a shrink. You need to talk to real people in your area, and honestly what harm can come from talking to a psychiatrist?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

if I thought it was a logical situation or knew why they were doing it why would I be on here asking questions-I don't know what they would get out of it either-I said that in my question.This is why I am afraid to go to the police-people jump to conclusions and immediatly think stuff like this is imagined or made up-do you think I would imagine seeing my own boyfreind- do you think I would imagine him hitting me for that matter-did you actually read the question or did you just get halfway through and post your reply-Or do you think I would waste my time typing and checking for replies all day if I was making it up for a laugh-please,then again I guess I would've thought the same thing if I were you

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A male reader, Jason32477 United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

Jason32477 agony auntSounds to me like you are seriously schizophrenic and maybe you should see a mental health person.Coming across town from you bf`s only to run into your bf with these followers of yours is kinda hard to believe.If these people have been following you for so long from town to town what are they getting out of it?From reading this I think your scene of reality is warped.See a psychiatrist immediately and explain all this to him.If he does not think your crazy he may be able to give you some advice to go from there.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (15 July 2009):

RAINORFIRE agony auntGO TO THE POLICE TELL THEM JUST WHAT YOU WROTE HERe THATS YOUR ONLY OPTIONS good luck and be safe

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A female reader, Hannan Nigeria +, writes (15 July 2009):

This is not good.I think ur mum is being insensitive.Speak to ur teacher or relative u can trust 2 talk 2 her.Go 2 d police.U can't predict a situation if u don't try.Give them these facts nd they ll listen.If they don't,secretly leave for another town 2 a family member.If u don't do this u might lose ur life.Act fast,ur body is ur pride,don't ever sell it.

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